“What do you think?”
“I think maybe you do, but I’m still unclear as to your motivation.” I dip my head, exhaling slowly. “I’m sorry I ran last time. I’m sorry I’ve been silent. I thought it would be better, easier, but I still can’t get you out of my head, and I don’t know what that means or how to manage it.”
Lex regards me for a few long moments before he asks the driver to take the scenic route along the water toward the city. “I should’ve said something before you left Bora Bora, but I didn’t think you were ready to hear it.”
“Hear what?”
“Look, Amie, I know things are messy for you right now, but whatever this thing is that’s happening between us, I don’t really want to walk away from it again.”
“What do you want then?”
His fingers sift through the ends of my hair. “Let’s just see where this goes. We’ll be spending time together regardless, let’s make it count.”
“I’m not sure I understand.” My uncertainty wavers.
“I want to date you, Amie.”
“But I’m still—”
He holds up a hand. “I know the annulment hasn’t gone through yet, so let’s do what we did in Bora Bora, minus the beach. Let’s just hang out, spend time together, sometimes naked, sometimes not. We’ll just keep it between us and when the annulment is finalized we can go from there.”
God, he seems so sincere. “And you’d be okay with keeping it just between us?”
“I know what Armstrong is like, Amie. He doesn’t like to lose and right now that’s what’s happening. I don’t want to make this more difficult, but I don’t want to give you up either. If this is how it has to be for now, I can accept that.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Is that the only reaction I’m going to get?”
I laugh and then sigh. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . a lot to process. I want this.” I gesture between us. “But it’s hard to trust how I feel right now.”
Lex’s smile is soft, just like his fingertips as he strokes my cheek. “That’s okay. We can take the feelings part slow if that’s what you need, and I’ll use my incredible skill set in the bedroom to distract you from all the things you’re worried about. How does that sound?”
I bite my lip through a smile. “That sounds good.”
“Excellent.” Lex’s smile stays firmly in place. “Now you want to tell me about Hottie Hook-Up?”
Oh God. Of all the things to bring up at the dinner table. If I hadn’t already been stressed out I would’ve given her hell for that. “I needed to tell Ruby something.”
“Oh, of course. That explains everything.” He nods as if this makes sense. “What exactly did you tell her?” Lex leans closer, his hand sliding along the back of the seat, fingertips grazing my shoulder. Maybe we’re done with the serious discussions for tonight.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone. You must’ve bragged to one of your golf buddies.”
“It’s not golf season. And is that what you were doing? Bragging?”
“I couldn’t very well tell her nothing.”
“What exactly did you brag to Ruby about?”
“I told her I hooked up with someone. That’s it.”
His knee bounces a couple of times, but stops quickly. His fingers tap beside my shoulder for a few beats. “Did you give her any details?”
“Details?” God it’s hot in here.
He fingers a lock of hair. “An orgasm tally, maybe? A comparative cock analysis?”
“Someone needs to check their ego.” I’m too breathless for the snark to come through.
Lex’s eyes roam over me hotly. “Did you tell her you let your hook-up into your tickle trunk of sex toys?”
I shake my head.
“No?” His fingers brush along my throat.
“Lex.”
“You want me to stop touching you?”
“No.”
“Good. I turned you down once, I’d have to be insane to do it again, Amie.” The sincerity behind that statement is staggering. It makes me wish this thing with Armstrong was behind me so I can be free to see where this thing with Lex can really go, without restraints.
We stare at each other for a few long seconds, the heat in his gaze sparking the fire inside; the one I don’t need to douse with logic or doubt anymore. Apparently Lex feels the same way, because he hits the release on his seatbelt and slides across the bench, reaching over to free me from mine before I can. “Come here.” He moves me to straddle him, palms sliding up my legs. “Always with the fucking garters,” he mumbles when his fingertips find the lace band at the top of my thighs.
I nibble on his bottom lip. “You love the garters.”
“I really do.”
When I make a move to unbuckle his belt, he covers my hands with his. “I’m not fucking you in the car, Amie.”
“What’re we doing then?”
He nibbles along my jaw. “Making out with our clothes on.”
“I like making out with you.”
“I know.” He sucks on my bottom lip. “If you have plans tomorrow I suggest you cancel them, because once we’re in my bed and I’m inside you I’m staying there for a long fucking time.”
He kisses me, and I surrender to the control he seems to have over my body, aware that if he keeps this up, he’s going to have the same control over my heart.
Twenty-Two: No Self-Control
Amie
Over the weeks leading up to the engagement party Lex and I do exactly what we did in Bora Bora; we spend time together. We’re dating. In secret, but still dating. It’s made that much easier because of Mimi’s elaborate engagement party plans. The whole thing has taken far longer to organize than I expected, and since Lex and I are co-organizers, no one questions it—much.
Lex seems to enjoy testing my self-control on a regular basis. It really hasn’t improved much. Although, last time I made it a full seventy-three minutes before I finally gave in, which was a real feat since he came to my apartment and sat on my couch, looking hot in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. And he was wearing his glasses. I made him keep them on, even though they fogged up when he went down on me.
I’m frustrated that we still have to hide since Armstrong continues to find reasons not to sign the annulment papers. There seems to be no other purpose than his enjoyment of my suffering.
But tonight I’m not worrying about Armstrong being difficult. Ruby and Bane’s engagement party has finally arrived and we’re all staying at the hotel, because it’s easier and it makes the most sense. Also, the penthouse suites are to die for. I check my phone as messages flood in from Ruby, who’s panicked over this whole thing. She’s used to being the center of attention, but not like this.