For as long as I could remember, my life had been about making sure everyone around me was safe and happy and that I was in complete control. My life had spiraled when my parents died and from that moment on my only focus was keeping things level. Everything was spinning and I did my best to keep my feet on the ground and not fall. When I was with Hunter, I knew I wasn’t in control. I couldn’t focus on anything else around me other than him. When he touched me, everything in my life melted away and all I could see was him. All I felt was him.
Even as I sat next to him, not saying a word, it was like we were the only two people in the world. He would disappear into darkness and then show himself to me again when the light hit. I knew he could break me whenever he vanished, but I knew he would show up again to put me back together. He left me shattered on my kitchen floor earlier, but he had reappeared tonight to put the pieces back in place. He showed me a side of myself I never even knew existed, and as much as I wanted it to not be true, I knew that was who I was now. When I met him in the diner, I felt his fury pulse through me, and when he took me in the kitchen he made me his. When he put his mouth and hands on me, it was as if my body was exploding in every direction at once, and when he put himself inside of me, he brought everything rushing back to the center. The room had gone black except for our bodies crashing together. The energy between us built and built until neither of us could take it anymore and it erupted into pure ecstasy and release. As I held onto him and he pushed himself deeper inside of me, it was like we had gone to another planet together, and then come free-falling back to earth. I had been stunned. It had all happened so fast and then he was gone before I could even begin to process what had just taken place. I felt weak, but also a sense of calm like I had never felt. It was as if everything was right where it should be as I gazed up at his intense eyes and held myself against his body. I felt like I was thrown into another place and it was where I was always meant to be. It was just the two of us and he held me close to keep me from slipping away. He took me as his, as if I had always been his, as if I always would be.
Then he left.
He left me sitting on the floor in a trance, just trying to make sense of this new world he had drawn me into.
His world.
When he walked out my door, he’d left me all alone, dazed, and lost. I had tried to find my way home, but I knew there was no going back. I was now in Hunter’s universe and there was nothing I could do to escape. I felt scared and shaken, but a part of me knew he would always be there to rescue me. I wanted to be back in my old life, but a bigger part of me couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. My eyes were open and I never wanted to close them again. No matter how hard I fought it, I would always be expecting him around every corner. It was more than a want, more than just a feeling. I needed him to be there and I knew he would be.
Tonight, just as unexpectedly and furiously as he entered and left, there he was again.
I wasn’t scared this time. I wanted to be taken wherever he was going.
I knew that’s where I needed to be.
Chapter 28
Hunter
I PULLED THE TRUCK IN front of the garage and threw it in park. Once again, Kelly had taken my plans and turned them on their head. I was out the door of this goddamn town and then, all of a sudden, she shows up on the only road that was going to let me leave. She was just sitting there, looking more fuckable than ever, waiting for me.
You’ve got some shit luck, pal. Might as well roll with it.
This girl was like a hangover I couldn’t shake. She kept showing up just when I thought I kicked her to the curb, and she brought with her this sick fucking need I had to keep her around. It made no sense. I never let a chick get to me. They didn’t get to me. I loved * as much as the next guy, maybe more, definitely more, but this was something else. With Kelly, I had this compulsion to make sure she was all right. More than that, I had a need to know that she was mine to have. I had no problem walking out her door earlier and leaving her there, broken, but I knew I was the one who did it and I could put her back together again. When I saw her sitting there in that fucking busted heap she called a car, I needed to make it right. I never thought I had any fucking morals to speak of, but with her, I knew she wouldn’t be okay until I helped her.
And I needed her to be okay.
My head was fucking spinning and I knew it wasn’t just the Jack Daniels I had been pouring down my throat since I left her that afternoon. No amount of whiskey was taking away the thought of her or the desire I had to rush back to her and put her back together, to make her understand that she was mine. I had been fighting it from the moment I saw her, and it was time to stop. She wanted me around, she needed me around, and she was going to learn just what a fucking mistake that was soon enough. I was going to ruin this girl’s fucking life and she was practically begging me to do it. Did I really want to drag her into this fucked up existence that was my world? Was it already too late? Was she already in too deep?
Yes. She was. And there wasn’t a fucking thing either of us could do about it.