A half hour later I was sitting in a booth at the diner across from Lacey. She’d stopped crying but her eyes were red. I ordered our coffee and a huge overindulgence of desserts—pecan pie, apple pie, lemon meringue, an ice cream sundae, and a chocolate brownie. The waitress raised her eyebrows when I placed the order.
I gave Lacey lots of room, didn’t pressure her, just let her speak when she was ready.
“I can’t believe what I’m about to say,” she said at last, after at least two mouthfuls of each dessert.
I nodded. Matt’s cheating was a fact we both knew but that didn’t make it any easier for Lacey to swallow.
“The thing is,” she continued, “I thought he was cheating on me. But he wasn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“He isn’t cheating on me, he’s cheating with me.”
“Lacey, I don’t understand.”
“I’m the affair, Faith. I’m not the relationship. I’m the fucking affair.”
“What?”
“Matt’s got a wife.”
“What? You’ve been dating him for years. How could he have a wife.”
“He’s got a fucking wife, Faith. They have a fancy house together in Palo Alto.”
“But, I don’t understand. Haven’t you been to his apartment?”
“It’s a company apartment, for when he’s in the valley on business. I thought he went to the city for business. But no. He lives in the city. He came here on business.”
Lacey wasn’t crying. She was refusing to allow herself to cry. She was holding herself together through nerves of pure steel.
“Oh, Lacey,” I gasped.
She shook her head.
“How did you find out?”
“A voicemail.”
“A voicemail?”
“A fucking voicemail, Faith.”
I looked around the diner. It was pretty empty. No one could hear us. Lacey’s eyes had watered up now but she was still holding it together. I felt like I should get her home. I didn’t want her to drive.
“What did it say?”
“It said his wife found out about me and he had to call the whole thing off. That’s pretty much all it said. After two years, that’s how he ended it.”
“Oh, Lacey. I’m so sorry.”
She started crying then.
“He said we’d never see each other again.”
“Lacey,” I said, helplessly.
“I loved him, Faith.”
“I know,” I said, soothingly.
“I loved that asshole, and all I got was a voicemail. I tried calling him and I’m blocked. I couldn’t get through, even to tell him what an asshole he is.”
“Fuck him,” I said.
“The entire time I thought he loved me, Faith. He had a wife at home waiting for him the entire time. It was all a lie. The night we met, oh God. I thought I’d found my soul mate. He had a wife.”
“Oh sweetie.”
“One great big, fat, fucking lie.”
“Let me tell Jackson,” I said. “He’ll take care of Matt for you.”
“No, Faith. You promised.”
“All right. I won’t say a word.”
“I just feel like such a fucking idiot,” Lacey said. “He’s one of those compulsive, pathological liars who likes to have two separate lives with two different women at the same time. And I was one of those ridiculous women who allows it to happen. If I saw myself on a reality show I’d roll my eyes. When he told me he didn’t have a landline, or social profiles, I just ate it all up. The business trips. Fuck. He spent more time in the city than here.”
“It’s not your fault, Lacey. You didn’t know.”
“He’s crushed my heart, Faith. He’s shattered it. How will I ever get over this?”
“I know it’s hard to believe, but you’ll get over this with time, Lacey. He’s the asshole here. You’ll forget all about him.”
“Then why do I feel so dirty?”
I could see she was going to take this really hard. Only a woman whose been cheated on could understand the sort of pain she was going through. It was the ultimate betrayal.
I put my hand on hers. I prayed her ego would be able to bounce back from this eventually. I felt helpless to do anything.
“I just feel so worthless, Faith. Like no man will ever value me or love me.”
“We’ll get you through this, Lacey,” I said.
Chapter 35
Faith
I DROPPED LACEY BACK AT THE MANSION. I wouldn’t have left her alone but Forrester and Grant were there. They wanted to know why she was crying, they were as protective of Lacey as they were of me, but we told them it was a female issue and they dropped it.
I felt bad about leaving her but I already felt guilty for dropping Sam off late and the last thing I wanted was to be late picking him up. I was definitely over the speed limit as I rushed into the school parking lot. I pulled up and could already see him standing by the steps of the school. He was crying.
I got out of the car and ran to him.
“Sammy. What is it baby? What happened.”
“Nothing,” he said.
There are certain things about being a mother that can straight up, break your heart. There’s no pain you can experience that even comes close to what it’s like having to watch your kid suffer.
“Was it the same boys?” I said.