I paused before answering.
“What’s the point?” I said, after thinking about it. “I’ve already had his child. I’ve been waiting for him for twelve years. I think we’re pretty committed to each other.”
“Faith, honey,” Lacey said. “Girl, you’ve got to look after yourself. I know he drives you wild. I know you’ve been waiting for him to come back to you. But you still don’t want to throw everything to the wind and get pregnant again. What about the business we’re building? What about finding out for real if Jackson’s sticking around this time.”
“I know,” I said, embarrassed at how stupid I’d been.
“I mean,” Lacey continued, “I love Jackson and I completely believe he’s here to stay, but don’t you think you owe it to yourself to make him prove that to you before you let him put another child in your womb?”
“You’re right,” I said. “Of course you’re right. I got carried away.”
“I know,” Lacey said. “And I’d have done the same in your position. But I wouldn’t be doing my job as a best friend if I didn’t tell you to look out for yourself. But you’re a big girl. I’m sure you know what you’re doing.”
I shook my head. I usually knew what I was doing. Jackson Jones was a distinct exception. I didn’t know what had come over me. Every time I was with him my body seemed to beg for his semen. It was crazy.
“When are you going to see him again?” Lacey said.
I felt butterflies in my stomach when she said that. I wanted to see him again so badly. Of course I did. My body did. My vagina especially wanted to see Jackson Jones again. My vagina wanted to move in with Jackson Jones. It wanted to give itself to him, be his slave. My vagina wanted to tattoo Jackson Jones’s name on itself so that the whole world knew who owned it. But I was more than a vagina. I was a full person, a mother, with responsibilities. I had to be reasonable.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“What did he say?”
“We didn’t make a plan, but I know he intended to see me again soon.”
“Did he take your number?
“No. I wanted to give it to him but it didn’t come up. I don’t know if he has a cell phone. He’s so old school.”
“Well, I dare say he’ll figure out how to get a hold of you when he needs to.”
“Lacey,” I said. “I was embarrassed. I let him go down on me. He sucked my clit, licked my asshole, fucked me without a condom.”
“He did all that?”
“God, yes.”
“Where?”
“In the back of his truck.”
Lacey laughed. “I get it. So when it was all over, you were feeling a little sheepish.”
“I just had to get out of there and collect my thoughts. He dropped me off.”
“At least he knows where you live.”
“Yes,” I said. Then, turning the subject from myself to Lacey, “What about you? How was your night.”
“I had a few drinks with Grant and then he dropped me off at home,” she said.
“That means we have to go back and get your car,” I said, half excited at the proposition. What if I saw Jackson again? I just wanted any excuse to go down to the valley.
“I already picked it up this morning,” Lacey said. “Don’t forget. I’m in a committed relationship with Matt. I can’t leave my car outside of the Rusty Nail. You know what that does to a lady’s reputation?”
I laughed.
Then I heard a crack in Lacey’s voice. She was crying.
“Lacey,” I said, startled, “are you all right? Are you crying?”
“I’m all right,” she sobbed.
“What’s going on? Why are you crying? What happened?”
“It’s nothing, Faith. Really. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Lacey, that’s not how we work and you know it. If something’s happened, you have to tell me.”
I already knew it was about Matt. That prick was really fucking with her mind. I wanted to tell her I’d get Jackson to take him out. Seriously.
“It’s not the right time. You’ve been waiting twelve years for Jackson to come back to you. I don’t want to overshadow that with my own petty problems.”
“Matt cheating on you is not a petty problem, Lacey. You don’t have to protect him all the time. You should talk about it.”
“You know if I tell the brothers about it they’ll fuck him up. I can’t let that happen.”
“Why not? That’s what he deserves.”
“Just promise me you won’t tell Jackson or the others what I’m about to say,” she said.
“You have my word, Lacey.”
“Oh, God,” Lacey said. She was starting to cry again. “I don’t think I can tell you all this on the phone,” she said.
“Get in your car,” I said. “Right now. Meet me at the diner on Main. I’ll buy you coffee and a massive dessert.”