I was going to answer but my voice caught in my throat.
“He left the chain in your car?” Lacey gasped.
“Yes,” I said at last.
“It was Jackson?”
“I don’t know. That’s the thing. It only came to me after he was gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“My hands started shaking. I felt as if I’d seen a ghost.”
“And you thought it was him?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Holy hell, Faith. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I’m telling you now.”
Lacey paused, then she said, “If you had a feeling like that, that’s your heart telling you something.”
“Have you heard anything?”
There was another pause.
“Lacey? Have you heard anything?” I said again.
“Faith, we need to talk.”
“Lacey. You’d tell me if you knew something, wouldn’t you?”
“Your happiness means the world to me, sweetie,” she said. “You’re my best friend in the world.”
“Lacey, what am I going to do? How come he hasn’t come for me? That was a week ago. The news said the Los Lobos killing was over a week ago too. If he’s back and he hasn’t contacted me, what does that mean?”
“Don’t jump to any conclusions. You don’t even know if he’s back yet.”
“But what if he doesn’t want me? What if he doesn’t want his son? What if I’ve been waiting all these years for nothing, like a complete idiot?”
“You’re not an idiot, Faith.”
I sighed. I hated to lean on her like this for emotional support, but sometimes you just need help. You need a friend. Being a single mom isn’t easy. Losing the love of your life for twelve years isn’t easy. I had Sam, and I loved him to bits, but it’s not the same as having an adult to talk to.
“We’ve got to meet up tonight,” Lacey said.
“No, it’s all right,” I lied. “You’ve got a date with Matt, don’t you?”
Lacey had been seeing a guy named Matt for two years, and somehow hadn’t told any of the brothers about it. She was afraid they’d scare him off so she’d kept her relationship with him a complete secret.
“He’s in San Francisco for that conference.”
“He’s not coming home?”
“He just called. The company got him a hotel so he’s staying there for the week.”
“Oh, so you don’t have plans?”
“As usual,” Lacey said.
“Okay, let me make sure Sam goes to bed. Then I’ll open a bottle of wine.”
“What have you got?”
“Another local Zinfandel.”
“From the valley?”
“There are so many hidden gems in that soil, and we’re going to find them all.”
Lacey was my business partner. We’d opened the wine business together. Her father had established the vineyard the mansion was on and we were both committed to bringing Socorro Valley wine to the world.
“All right,” Lacey said. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”
I put away the things from dinner and then went into the den to check on Sam. He was watching the latest Transformer movie, a pack of Doritos on the sofa next to him. I couldn’t help feel a twinge of sadness for him. He was such a beautiful boy, the best thing I’d ever done in my life, but his life wasn’t complete without a father.
“You doing all right, buddy?”
He lifted his hand in answer.
“Five more minutes, okay. You’ve got school in the morning.”
“This is the best part, mom. Optimus Prime.”
“Autobots, engage,” I said, in my pathetic robot voice.
“That’s Star Trek. Optimus says, ‘Autobots, roll out’.”
I sat down next to him. He graciously deigned to move his legs. “Want some chips?”
“No thanks, sweetie.”
“Diet?”
I laughed. “Sort of.”
“Your the thinnest mom out of all my friends.”
I looked at him sideways. “Now you’re just trying to butter me up.”
His left eyebrow arced. It was a gesture he’d inherited from Jackson and it melted my heart every time I saw it. I wanted my son’s father to come home to me so badly it hurt. If he was done with Los Lobos, if it was safe for him to return, then where the hell was he?
“All right,” I said, putting on my best down-to-business voice. “This part’s boring. Let’s turn it off and you can pick it back up tomorrow night.”
“Another exciting night in the adventurous life of Sam Jones,” he said. I’d insisted on giving him Jackson’s name, even if mine was still Shepherd.
“Maybe we’ll go out for something tomorrow.”
“Grab a bite to eat?”
“Some burgers, a movie. If you’re good.”
He got up from the couch and kissed me on the cheek. “I love you, mom.”
“I love you, Sam. I’ll be right there to tuck you in.”
“I know,” he said and left for his bedroom.
I turned off the television and went in to Sam’s room. “You all set, sweetie?”
“Yes, mom.”
I kissed him goodnight. “You’re a good kid,” I whispered.
“You’re a good mom,” he said.