Havoc was frayed.
I did as he said and he slowly raised my legs to rest them on his shoulders. I thanked God for all the hours I’d spent doing Pilates, especially when he put his arms around my lower back and pulled me closer to him.
And then he entered me.
Oh. God.
Divine pleasure hit me and my pussy pulsed around his cock.
He entered me slowly that first time.
The second time, he slammed into me hard.
The third, I was sure he was going to break me in half.
I clung to him while he lost himself.
If I’d thought he was frayed before, the act of fucking me only served to unravel him further. He grunted with each thrust, moving faster and faster towards his release. But it never seemed to get any closer.
I came fast, my mind shattering with white light as it drifted away from all thoughts of anything but pleasure. I knew Havoc continued to pound into me, and I still held onto him, but that was the only awareness I had. I hovered in that pleasure state for a long time.
He’d given me pleasure like I’d never experienced and if it was the last time we ever had sex, I wouldn’t care because this was everything.
This took the pain away.
I could breathe.
Joy.
The ache of rejection I always carried with me was gone.
Even if just for a short time, it was everything I wanted and needed.
Delivered to me by Havoc.
“Fuck!” He roared as he came.
My eyes flicked open to find a storm of emotion staring back at me. As he caught his breath and allowed the pleasure to ebb from his body, he held my gaze with those stormy eyes. We didn’t speak, simply watched.
When he was done, he pulled out of me and helped me down from the vanity before turning and walking out of the bathroom.
I watched him go.
Still no words passed between us, yet a tempest of feelings had been unleashed.
Closing the bathroom door so I could shelter alone in the shower, I closed my eyes briefly.
What the hell have we done?
15
Carla
I woke from a fitful sleep at four the next morning. Behind me, Havoc’s body pressed hard against mine and his arms wrapped me in a tight embrace.
As I tried to wiggle out of his hold, he said, “You’ve been talking in your sleep.”
They were the first words he’d said to me since he fucked me on the bathroom vanity. After I’d showered, I’d left the bathroom to find him gone from the room. Hurt had reached for me at his absence, but I’d pushed it aside. I’d shoved it away, not wanting to allow him any more space in my heart. Room I’d never wanted to make for him in the first place.
I’d gone to bed and fallen asleep fast. He’d worn me out both physically and emotionally.
I stilled in his arms. “What have I been saying?” I used to talk in my sleep a lot while growing up, but to my knowledge, I hadn’t done it in years.
“Random words mostly, but you’ve mentioned your father a few times.”
My heart rate slowed for a moment before picking up speed.
No.
I broke free of his embrace and sat on the edge of the bed. With my hands planted on the mattress either side of me, I hunched over and worked to get my breathing under control.
This isn’t happening.
Havoc shifted on the bed behind me and placed his hand on my lower back. “You kept repeating the word 'no,' over and over, Carla.” I heard the concern in his voice and his words inched their way into my heart.
I turned to face him. Although the room was dark, the first hint of sun filtered through the crack where the curtains met, and I could make out his features. “I’m sorry I never told you Nash was my brother. The last thing I want is for you to have club problems.”
He frowned. “You’re changing the subject.”
“No, I’m just continuing a conversation we started yesterday. I want you to know you were right. I should have told you.”
He stared at me as if I had two heads. Sitting up in the bed, he raked his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, a woman who can tell me I was right about something.”
A smile that didn’t reach my eyes spread across my lips. “Yeah, well don’t think it will happen too often. Usually men aren’t right.”
He chuckled, finally losing the serious expression he’d been wearing for far too long. “So I’ve been told, darlin’.” Reaching his arm out, he placed his hand on my forearm. “What’s with your father?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it, Havoc.”
“Babe, with the amount of mumbling you’ve been doing for the past few hours and the thrashing that went along with that mumbling, it seems to me that you need to talk about it.”
“I’ve been thrashing in the bed?”
“Why do you think I had you in such a strong hold? Damn near thought you were gonna knock me out at one point.”
I took a deep breath.
Shit.
He’s right.