I feel the same way.
With our faces so close that her breath whispered across my skin, we stared at each other for a long time. The still air in the tiny bathroom consumed our apprehension piece by piece until all that was left was an unrelenting need to satisfy our hunger.
At the first sign of her softening, I tightened my hold on her neck and pulled her mouth to mine. She didn’t hesitate and a second later, our bodies pressed together as hard as our mouths did.
The smell of her arousal overwhelmed me and I let her neck go so I could slide my hands around her ass and lift her. Turning, I held her up against the wall and groaned when she wrapped her legs around me. The urge to drive my cock as hard and fast as I could into her sweet cunt threatened to take over as the only thought in my mind, and I took a moment to work through that and get myself under control.
Resting my forehead against hers, I focused on my breathing while I gave myself a talking to.
Focus.
You’ve got this.
You’ve fucking done this enough times to know how to control yourself.
But I hadn’t.
I’d never fucked a woman like Carla.
Had never been with a woman who stole my control the way she did.
She invaded every fucking sense of mine until I didn’t know right from wrong, up from down, red from fucking blue.
“Havoc.”
My head snapped up and I found her staring at me.
Unsure.
“Are you okay?” she asked, lines creasing her forehead as she tilted her head, frowning at me.
I stepped back and let her go. “I need to slow this shit down.”
She stood naked in front of me with an expression on her face that seemed to be half confusion and half frustration. “What does that mean?”
I wasn’t sure I even knew.
“It means I want you sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed waiting for me while I take a minute,” I bit out. My head was so damn full I thought it might actually explode.
Too many thoughts.
Too many fucking feelings.
I jerked my chin at her and snapped, “Go.”
Her eyes widened a fraction and I pushed my breaths out while waiting for her to submit. When she didn’t, I growled, “Carla, I need you to go and sit on the bed. Now.”
“I’m giving you five minutes to get your head back in this. I’m all for bossy and shit, but I draw a line at whatever the fuck you call what you’ve got going on at the moment. Barking orders at me is a whole lot fucking different than dominating me.” With that, she stalked out of the bathroom.
Thank fuck.
I dropped down and crouched on the floor. Bringing my hands up, I bent my head and threaded my fingers through my hair, cradling my head with my chin against my chest.
What the fuck are you thinking?
Hello, remember Kelly?
This is just sex.
But, Nash.
My breaths were coming hard and fast while I filed through my mind. The smart thing to do would be to walk out of the motel room and book another. This thing with Carla was not just sex. I wouldn’t be losing my shit if it were. I wouldn’t be dedicating so many goddamn minutes of my day to thinking about this if it was just about pussy.
I could get pussy anywhere.
I couldn’t get Carla anywhere.
What the hell was it about her that had so much pull over me? Because to even think about a club member’s sister the way I was contemplating Carla was fucking lethal.
I stood.
Resting my hands on the edge of the vanity, I stared at myself in the mirror. All thirty-one years of my life were etched on my face. Along with a whole lot of turmoil.
And need.
I splashed water on my face.
Just fuck her, and then walk the hell away.
14
Carla
“Come here,” Havoc demanded.
He’d taken his five minutes—well, six minutes and some seconds, but who was counting—and had finally left the bathroom to stand in front of the bed. Hard eyes stared down at me and I wondered what shit he had sorted in his head to look at me that way. I’d never seen those eyes before and they kinda scared me. Again.
But that voice of his…
It didn’t scare me at all. It turned me on in a way I’d never been turned-on and that was enough to make me scoot off the bed and stand in front of him.
His eyes held mine for a good minute before dropping to my throat. I looked down at the same time and saw his hands clench by his side.
Oh, dear Lord.
Yes.
I knew what those hands were capable of and I wanted everything they had to give.
Even if that involved some pain.
After the phone call I’d had from my mother that afternoon, my soul was alive with pain and in my experience, the only thing to dull pain, was more pain. Different pain. And although I’d never had it from him before, I knew Havoc could give that to me.
“Hurt me,” I said as his gaze lingered on my throat.
His head jerked up and our eyes met again. “What did you just say?”