Hate To Love You

“Whatever.” I shoved Gage back, gently this time, and forced a lightness in my voice. “Go to your fraternity party and stay away from my friends.”

He was going to argue. I saw the words forming and shook my head again. “I mean it. And stop talking about me to football players. Got it?”

He looked at me for a second, his head tilting to the side in thought. “You okay?”

I heard the kindness and my throat swelled up a bit. “I’m fine.” I would be. Studying. That was my goal right now. Guys like Parker couldn’t hurt me anymore. I wouldn’t let them. “Now, go. Before someone sees you.”

He chuckled, and a couple of seconds later when I’d gotten my emotions in check, I looked back up to find him gone. No brother anywhere.

I was passing by the front desk when the girl looked up. “Kennedy Clarke?”

“Yeah?”

She was an upperclassman and had been the front desk attendant since the first week of classes, and I waited for her to say whatever she called me over for.

“Shay said to say hi to you.”

I instantly groaned.

Of course, Shay would know this girl. She was too pretty to be ignored. I half-joked, “Let me guess. You’re his girlfriend?”

She laughed, sounding actually nice. “We’re friends. He said to say hi to you, that you’re pretty cool.”

I glanced around. There were a few girls in the lobby, so I stepped closer to the desk. “Can we keep that on the down-low?”

“What?” Another genuine laugh. It was almost making me like her, sort of. She added, “That you’re cool?”

“That I know Shay, and I only know him from class. We’re not friends or anything.” I had to stress the last part. “And if you were dating him, my condolences.”

“Shay isn’t that bad of a guy, but yeah, I’ll keep it quiet.”

She frowned a bit as I held my hand up in a farewell wave, heading for the stairs and toward my room. Having a front desk attendant who was nice to you? That was gold. There could be drunk times ahead, and you never know when you needed someone to look the other way.

I had an extra bounce in my step when I let myself into the room, but it careened to a stop.

Missy was at her desk, wearing a big scowl.

“What’s up?” I shut the door and tossed my backpack onto my bed behind her.

“Holly wants to go to the library tonight.” She was stabbing at her keyboard.

Holly was her best friend from high school, the girl who lived a floor above us with her cousin. “What’s wrong with the library?” My desk was across the room, and I sat down on my chair before spinning so I was facing her.

“Nothing, if it were Sunday or any other day of the week. But it’s Friday. She has a crush on one of the workers there.”

Holly developed a new crush twice a week. “Not many people are going to be there. Makes sense she’d want to go tonight. Prime time for flirting.”

“I don’t want to go to the stupid library.”

“What else are you going to do?” Where Holly and her cousin went, Missy went, and vice versa. The three didn’t stray far from each other’s sides.

She shrugged, glancing at our television. “We could watch movies in here?”

I almost recoiled. I was movie buddies with Kristina, not Missy, not the roommate who laughed in my face because I didn’t like the same chick flicks she did. Plus, I knew she talked shit about me. I walked in once when Holly and the cousin were there. The room got completely silent. I had no clue what they could’ve even been saying about me, but I had no doubt it’d been happening.

“I was planning to go to the library tonight, too.”

“You were?”

Her disbelief was almost complementary. She did think I had a life.

I shrugged, spun back around, and booted my computer. “Why not? I need to study. And besides, the library closes early, doesn’t it?”

“So?”

“Maybe Holly’s crush will have a party to invite you guys to. The best plans are usually not having any plans.”

“Yeah?”

Someone knocked on the door just as I was pulling up my email. I stood and nodded to her. “Yeah. I’d go with the plan of hoping to find some action afterward. No one goes to a party before ten anyway.”

I opened the door as I was finishing that sentence.

Casey Winchem stood there, the same Casey who Gage had been begging me to let him sleep with and the same Casey who intimidated me because she was so confident.

“Hey.” I blinked a couple of times. I was on friendly terms with Casey, Laura, and Sarah, but none of them ever came to my room. A part of me wasn’t even sure they knew my name. They always referred to me as “Hey, You.”

“Hey.”

“What’s up?” I opened the door wider.

She looked past me and waved. “Hi.”

Missy didn’t wave back. I think she was in shock I knew someone else.

Casey frowned slightly but then looked back to me. “Uh, we’re going to a fraternity party tonight. Did you want to come with us?”

“Uh . . .”

“You have a car, don’t you? Sarah and Kristina had to go home for the weekend. It’s just Laura and me.”

Now it made sense.

Sarah had the only car they used. No one else brought one since parking was a challenge around freshman dorms. I had a car. Everyone in my family had one. It was the one big gift our mom splurged for when we graduated. We weren’t wealthy so it was the last big gift I’d be getting until I got married.

When I was in my thirties.

If ever.

I shook my head. Back to the conversation. “You need a ride to the party?”

“Well.” She bit her lip. “Kind of. I mean, we can get a ride with Adams or Kreigerson.” Names I didn’t know. “It’s the getting home part we’re worried about. The guys will get drunk and take off on their own, if you know what I mean. If Laura or I end up hooking up with someone, that’s another thing, but yeah. I’d like to have a backup plan if anything happens.”

Backup.

That was me.

I was plan B.

And I wasn’t a pushover, either. “No, thank you. I’ll see you later. Have fun tonight.”

I shut the door.

I knew I was coming off like a bitch, but I ignored my roommate’s still gaping mouth. She didn’t understand. No one used me anymore. I wasn’t going to let it happen, not again.

And with that in mind, I eyed my computer.

I really did need to learn how to study. This weekend was just put into that slot.





I was going to be a psychologist . . . maybe?

I had it narrowed down. I got sick at the sight of blood, and being a lawyer was out, so that really only left being a psychologist. Not a psychiatrist—again, sick at the sight of blood. I’d had to endure that before I got to see the people in the padded cells. The other option was going for my MBA, but that meant business classes, lots of them. I wasn’t sure. Gage was going for business, and he complained about his classes. Not often, but enough that it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Still, I had to keep my options open.

Depending on my job experiences, I would have a better idea which to choose. That meant getting a job at a psychiatric hospital, or becoming a research assistant for a Ph.D. student. I could do that during the school year, and when I went home for the summer, I’d figure something else out.