Hate To Love You

“Mom!” My face looked like a moldy pickle?

A low chuckle sounded behind her, and then my older brother stepped to the side. He looked normal, an inch taller than Gage and myself. His head was still shaved, and he looked like he’d been lifting weights a bit more. But the normal part was his clothes. He was dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans, and he had a Styrofoam cup in his hand.

I could smell the coffee, and my mouth was instantly watering. “Is that what I think it is?”

He laughed, setting it on the table stand beside me. “I wasn’t sure if you could have it yet. Thought I might check with the nurse first.” He moved in to hug me, and it felt good to fold into his arms.

Gage was my brother in the real sense of the word.

We fought, wrestled, yelled at each other, but we’re also friends. Blake was four years older than me, and he’d been the father figure since ours died from cancer when we were little. He was dark coloring, dark hair, and dark eyes, like Gage and myself, but he had a slightly rounder face. He was bigger in build, too. More muscular, a bit gruffer, and slightly rougher around the edges, Blake had a temperament to match.

He was exactly what I needed.

He held me a second longer, and I brushed away a tear. “Hi. You guys drove here?”

His eyes were so sad. He smoothed some of my hair from my forehead. “You know Mom. She hates flying. Family emergency.”

He grimaced, his eyes lingering over the side of my face. “I heard your boy packed quite a punch back at those assholes.”

My boy.

“Oh.” I ducked my head, feeling my hands grow clammy. “Yes. That’s what I heard, too.”

He stepped back, and I focused on our mother again. The afghan was still there, half covering a pair of blue scrubs and fur-lined clogs. Her dark hair was pulled up into a high bun, and she even had a pair of glasses hanging from a beaded string around her neck. Red lipstick, yellow eye shadow, and an extra amount of blush was spread on her cheeks.

“What are you doing? You’re not a nurse.” I pointed at her clothes.

“I know.” She looked down, so pleased with herself. “Isn’t it fabulous? I dressed like this for two reasons.” She migrated closer, taking my hand, and including Blake in the conversation. He drifted over to where Gage had slept, but hoisted himself up so he was sitting on the windowsill, his feet resting on Gage’s chair.

He shook his head. “Don’t talk to me. You look crazy. I don’t want to be included.”

She batted her eyelashes at me. “It’s a fashion-forward trend. No one’s thought of this before. I brought everything so I’m prepared. I’m blending in. I’m dressing the part. I’m going to take care of you, so what better outfit to wear than someone who does it for a profession? Isn’t this fabulous? And I’m comfortable. Nurses are so comfortable. It’s like going to work in your pajamas. I’m kind of jealous. Maybe I should be a nurse?”

Blake had pulled his phone out, but he waved a hand toward me. “Tell her the other reason. The real reason you’re dressed like that.”

“Oh.” Her hand splayed out on her chest. “Yes. If I need to sneak anywhere, I have a better chance looking like I belong. You know? They have all sorts of weird rooms in hospitals. You never know where you might have to go and where you’re not supposed to be.”

I agreed with Blake. “You’re a lunatic.”

She laughed, waving her hand in the air. “My children are so funny.” She turned around as she spoke, and a nurse was entering the room. She stopped, frowning at our mother before shaking her head and approaching the bed.

She explained what I already knew—I was being discharged. The doctor had come through earlier, and I was given a clean bill of health. I wasn’t supposed to drive for the next two weeks, and I had to “keep it easy” for the same time period because that was how long it would take for the concussion to go away.

Until then, foggy thoughts, slurred speech, feeling nauseous, dizzy, off-balance, and a whole list of other criteria were to be expected. I shouldn’t be alarmed if I couldn’t do simple math anymore. That’d go away, but I had to be careful so I didn’t reinjure my head. That happened, apparently.

When I left, Blake was the one to wheel me out in the wheelchair, and I had no clue what Mom was doing. She was talking to everyone as we went down a hallway, acting as if we were in a parade. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d been doing the elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist wave to them. She was laughing, telling everyone how blessed we were, how scared she’d been as a mother, and I had had enough by the time we got to the front door.

I was supposed to stay in the wheelchair until the car, but I couldn’t handle it. Irritation and general tension (though I didn’t know why) sat like two boulders in the bottom of my gut. They wouldn’t go away, no matter what I thought to myself. I had a prescription for painkillers, but I wished I’d upped the morphine dose, just to get me to the car.

“The minivan, huh?” I remarked as Blake wheeled me up to the side door.

We could still hear Mom chattering to someone behind us. “Yeah, not the car. She wasn’t sure how long we’d stay, so she insisted. She brought half the house with us. More room with this one.”

He opened the door and held my hand as I stood and got in. My legs were a little unsteady, but nothing major. The nerves were from leaving, nothing else.

I’d been attacked, but I wasn’t thinking about that.

I wasn’t thinking about Shay, Missy, or Kristina, or what anyone was saying on campus.

And I wasn’t lying to myself, either.

“How are you doing? Really?”

Blake paused by the door, waiting for my answer.

“Okay! Sounds amazing. I’ll be DMing it. It’s all about Instagram, or wait. Do you have a Snipchat?”

We both looked back.

My mom meant well. She worked as a hotel manager, but her hobby and life’s passion was an actress. So far, she only got starring roles in our local community plays, but she was dedicated. We all gave her grief, but if our mother ended up on the big screen somewhere, I wouldn’t be surprised.

She was playing the “cool mother” at this moment. Or trying.

I nodded to Blake. “Just tired, is all.”

He nodded back, though he didn’t look convinced, and shut the door. Mom piled into the passenger door, turning around to me, and Blake got behind the steering wheel.

“We got a hotel room. Did Gage tell you that? He has that apartment, but he has roommates, and you have that dorm. Blake can’t be there past hours, right? I talked to your roommate. She explained everything.” She took a breath. “So, honey, where would you like to go?”

There was one place, but I said instead, “Your hotel is fine.”

“Splendid!” She beamed at me.





I had enough.