Hate To Love You

He didn’t sound like he cared. I barked out a laugh. “Right. I get that you might not care what I did, but I’d think you would’ve cared about what Casey went through.”

“Spare me the lecture.”

“Yeah. Okay. Consider it spared.” I started to hang up, but he spoke again, stopping me.

“I’m standing outside your dorm, wondering if I should chance your wrath to come and check on you, or just leave you alone. I never have any clue which way to go with you, and I get it. You got a bad hand, more than a few because of Blake and me, but fuck, Kenz. You looked mental in that video.”

The second person to say that within a few minutes. I held my tongue. He had some valid points.

“Others aren’t going to see your rage, but I did. I—” He sighed into the phone, “It took me back. Okay? I didn’t realize how much Parker screwed you over.”

“That wasn’t about Parker.”

“Yes, it was. And it was about all the shit you had to deal with in high school. I get it. I get why you don’t want people to know about Blake or me, or that you’re friends with Raymond Linde or even that you know Shay Coleman. It was a logical response. That’s what I told myself. I thought about it rationally, but it wasn’t until that video that I understood it. It was a punch to my junk.”

I winced. “Did you have to use that metaphor?”

He laughed. “Yeah. Well. It fit. Look, I’m outside your dorm. I’d like to come inside and hang out with my sister, but it’s your choice. I’m currently hiding in the trees, looking like a creep, but I’ll do whatever you want.”

“What about Casey?”

“I went to the bathroom. I meant to walk out with them, but I ran into some guys I knew and I wanted to find out the plans for tonight. The stands were empty by the time I finished talking, and I just assumed everyone left. I ducked out through a different fence because it was closer to my truck.”

“I meant, aren’t you worried about Casey?”

“I’m more worried about my sister. You’re my first priority over a girl I barely know.”

The first thawing shall commence. “Thanks.” It felt good to hear that. “Sorry I was a bitch just now.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I don’t care. Your bitchiness comes in handy. It makes you a fighter, and you’ve fought for me before. But can I come in? What’s the verdict here?”

“Uh.” The room suddenly felt too small. “I’ll come out. We can get food or something.”

“Sounds good.”

We made plans for me to meet at his truck, and I stared at the phone after I hung up. I owed Shay an apology. I should call him, tell him I was sorry. I didn’t. I sat there, and I couldn’t make myself reach out and pick up that phone again. I sat there for a full ten minutes, trying to will myself to do it until I knew it wasn’t going to happen. That was one stone I couldn’t put back, but I’d see him tomorrow. I’d be nice-r then. I’d try to make it up, but actually apologizing and saying the words, I don’t know why they wouldn’t form for me.

I was heading down the stairs through the back door when Casey entered from the second floor. I was a few steps away and paused. My hand was on the handrail, but I put it in my shirt’s pocket.

“Hi.” She blinked a few times. She was undoing one of her braids, but her hands fell away. She looked down.

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” She looked back up.

“I went psycho on that guy, and it wasn’t all about you.” I glanced sideways. “Most of it wasn’t about you.” Nope. Still wrong. “Pretty sure none of it was about you.”

She snorted, grinning. “Well, whatever. It was awesome.”

Linde’s words about my brother stuck with me. I hadn’t known what I was going to do—if I was going to say something to Gage or Casey, but she was here.

This was about to get awkward real fast.

She asked, “You heading out?”

“Yeah. About that—”

“Sorry. I just—did you see who pulled you off that guy?” Her eagerness bubbled out. “Shay Coleman. Shay Coleman, Kennedy!” She grabbed my sleeves, pulled my hands out from my pockets, and shook them up and down. “I can’t believe Shay Fucking Coleman came to my rescue. I’m dying. Dying!” She let go and pretended to fan herself.

Right. Her rescue.

“It’s nice to see some of the old Casey still in there.”

“For Shay Coleman?” Her head tipped back. “Hell yes,” she moaned before looking back. “Okay, not really. I’m not ready for any guy. The idea makes me want to curl up in a ball and vomit, but it was Shay Coleman. Even a nun would’ve swooned at him today. And he told those guys to get lost when you left.” She was back to fanning herself. “They didn’t say anything or argue with him. They didn’t do anything. They picked their friend up and carried him to the parking lot, and then he walked me back. AH! That was the best part. He was all nice and gentlemanly. Swooning here. Just swooning.”

I was getting that. Maybe the Gage stuff could wait. “That’s good to hear.” I looked toward the exit door.

“Are you leaving? I was coming up to get you. We’re heading to the Dulane Café to get some food. Did you want to come?”

Twenty-four hours ago, I would’ve been the one to swoon. Casey Winchem coming to my door? Knocking? Inviting me to eat with her and the girls? And not where I was the backup option for a ride? I would’ve felt like I had been accepted into the group, but that would’ve been twenty-four hours ago. Before my brother ditched me, before he sat next to my friends, and before I had a rageful dick-in-the-hands moment.

Because of all that, I shook my head. “No. I should get going. I’m going to grab some food with my brother.”

Her eyes lit up. “Invite him with us. The girls know he’s your brother. I told them when he sat with us at the football game. Laura thought I was moving in on your guy. She saw you guys and thought I was violating the code. I had to tell her. I hope that’s alright?”

Whaaaaaaaaat?

My smile stuck in my cheeks. “Sure. No problem.”

Fuuuuuuck.

My phone started buzzing. I only needed one guess to figure out who it was. No doubt Gage got impatient. “I should get going.”

“Yeah. Okay.” She moved aside so I could go past her. “Talk tonight? Maybe do something later? Laura and Sarah will go drinking, but I was thinking movies?”

Cue my swooning. She was inviting me for a movie night. “Yeah. I’ll stop by when I’m done.”

That was an evening I could get behind.





Gage asked to go to the campus café, but I snorted as I threw that out. Instead, he took me to a small pub a block from his house. I asked once we got out, “Are you sure I’ll be let in?” He’d just turned twenty-one, but I wasn’t.

“For sure.” He threw his arm around me, flashing that crooked grin so many girls fell for. “I’ll just tell ’em you’re my girl.”

I shrugged his arm off. “That’s gross.”

“It’ll keep guys from hitting on you.”

“And when you end up sleeping with someone you know from here, and she finds out I’m your sister?” I gave him a look. “She’s going to think we’re weird.”