Hate To Love You

I looked at Shay. He turned his head away. I wasn’t sure if he heard or not. The music was drowning everything out, but he was close. He could’ve heard. Either way, he was acting as if he hadn’t. He was giving my brother and me some privacy.

I said back to Gage, “There’s nothing going on.”

Gage cocked his head to the side, his lips forming a frown. “Are you serious?”

I was beginning to remember the problem. I’d outed myself. People now knew who I knew. The realization flooded in, along with an increasing panic, but I couldn’t stop it. It was already done. I was standing in a very small and sheltered circle of these guys whom I didn’t want people to know were in my life.

Even knowing the problems this could cause, I had no desire to pull away from Shay’s hand. That one touch, one hold, was tantalizing to me. I began to thirst for more, and I looked at his face, at his lips.

They were perfect, especially when they were on me.

Sensing my attention, Shay’s lip twitched into a smirk.

Hunger, desire, and a primal need overwhelmed me. I started to sway toward him, but his hand flexed again. He held me back, and he wasn’t letting me move any farther away.

Linde leaned in to my brother, said something, and then flashed his phone at Shay.

Gage turned to me. “Your cab is here. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I already knew I didn’t want that, though I nodded.

Shay turned me around, pushing away from the wall. His hands found both sides of my waist, and he started to propel me forward and around the table. We moved through the crowd. There weren’t a lot of people between us and the door, but there were enough that it still took a few minutes. I waved to Linde over my shoulder, and he dipped his head in another one of those nods. He turned, his hand going around the waist of the girl who led me to their table. She was saying something to him, and his head bent down to better hear her. Gage waved, too, but his eyes were sad.

I sighed.

Shay reached around me and opened the door.

I stepped out, his hands still on me, and made sure the door shut right behind us. He ushered me behind a truck, stepping around so we were hidden. As soon as we did, the door opened again. I saw a security guard look out. He searched up and down both sides of the sidewalk, frowned, and retreated back inside.

Shay was so close behind me that I could feel his body heat. “No one’s supposed to use that door. It’s for emergencies. They think someone tried to sneak in.”

That made sense. I was trying to tell him that, but my throat stopped working. Everything stopped working, even my brain. I turned around, my back against the truck, and I gazed at Shay. His eyes were almost black, and I knew he was feeling the same need as me. I could feel him on my hip. I reached down and brushed over the bulge in his jeans.

He expelled a ragged breath, closing his eyes. “You’re drunk.”

My hand curved around him, applying pressure. I murmured, my voice husky, “I’m not that drunk.” I’d been sobering up real fast, and I stepped into him, bringing our bodies in line together. I looked up, my thumb rubbing over him through his jeans. “Let’s go to your house instead.”

He groaned, his eyes lidded and heavy as he watched me, but then there was a flash of lights and a car pulled up by the side door we had just snuck out from. He cursed, taking my hand. “It’s the cab. Come on.”





We got into the cab, and Shay told him his address.

He sank back next to me, our hands intertwined, and I didn’t know what I was doing. My heart was racing. My entire body was inflamed. Our hips were touching, and he turned so it looked like he was looking out my door, but he wasn’t. His lips were at my forehead, and our hands moved to my lap. They pressed down on my leg. The back of his hand was lightly touching where I was throbbing the most.

I wanted to shift, pull his hand farther down, but I didn’t dare. I was bold that night, but not that bold. Not yet, anyway.

Grinning slightly, I looked up.

His eyes were there, as if he was waiting for me, and just as soon as I realized that, his lips were on mine. Or maybe mine were on his. Either way, it was exactly what I needed. He picked me up, lifting me to straddle him, and we made out the entire ride home. Shay didn’t touch me anywhere inappropriate. No clothing left our bodies, though I ran my hands up under his shirt, making him shudder. I broke off the kiss to catch my breath, but dear God, his chest was amazing. Then he tugged me back, and we were kissing again.

I sensed him pausing a few times. I wasn’t sure why, until at one point I looked and saw he was watching the driver. He’d go back to kissing me a second later until we pulled up outside Shay’s house. He paid for the cab, taking my hand and pulling me around to the back of the house.

“Some of the guys didn’t go out.” He pointed to the living room windows where I could see a lit-up television screen. The rest of the house seemed quiet and dark. We crossed the back patio, but instead of heading for the door that we’d used the last time I was there, Shay went to a far left door.

He used his key to unlock it, and I was surprised to see another stairway going up. It was sectioned off from the rest of the house as if it were its own unit. A door led off to our right, which I assumed would’ve taken us to the kitchen and the main house.

Shay flipped on some lights so I could see and then stepped back to let me go first. He took his shoes off by the door, locked it, and then his hands went back to my hips.

On our way up the stairs, I stopped, just once, and leaned back against him. His lips skimmed up my neck, lingering on my chin before I turned my head halfway to him and our lips caught and held again. I groaned softly. I could stay just like that. In fact, I turned toward him.

I felt him grinning against my lips. “What are you doing?”

I wound my arms around him and lifted myself up, hooking my legs behind his back. “I have no idea.” Then I was kissing him again, and it was true. I really didn’t. My mind didn’t like Shay, but my body did, and right now, I was only listening to my body. I was doing whatever it wanted, and holding on to him, crawling up him, kissing him, raking my hands through his hair—that was what I was going to do.

“Fuck it,” he half-growled and hoisted me farther up him, his hands clamping under my ass. He carried me the rest of the way, going into a back bedroom and then tumbling down onto a bed.

He pulled away once to close the door and lock it. Then he was back, and I lay on that bed, staring up at him. The moonlight lit up his face, and I gulped.

He was the most masterful thing I’d seen.

“Come here,” I said, my voice hoarse again.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. I was so beyond being sure.