Chances were even if I was with Knox, that would be my reality. The town and city were run with crooks and outlaws.
“Maybe things will change,” I said. “I mean, look what happened with Danny and the club, right? They caught that guy stealing and stopped it.”
“They killed him,” Megan said.
“I know. But once all that stuff is straightened out… maybe it’ll be easier.”
“Maybe it won’t,” Megan said.
She stood and sipped more wine. We then walked out to the kitchen where she put her wineglass down.
There were a few awkward minutes of silence. So much so that I wondered if Megan was sent to kill me or something. Or sent to get information about me. Or to see if I’d tell her what Porter had done so she could tell him and he could hurt me again.
“Shit,” Megan said. She gripped the edge of the counter. “I came here for a reason.”
“Okay. What is it?”
Megan walked to her bag and I braced myself.
She didn’t take out a gun or a knife.
She took out a box with two pregnancy tests in it.
When I saw the box I let out a gasp. Her eyes filled with tears and I hurried to hug her.
“It’s bad,” she said. “It’s so bad.”
“What is?”
“It’s not with Mickey,” she said.
I backed away and put her at arm’s length. That was a big problem.
Megan told me a story of how someone else put some moves on her when Mickey was out of town. They’d been having an affair for a year now. She said she felt like a whore and like her mother. Now she was late and she feared the worst. I felt like a terrible person when I said maybe Mickey wouldn’t find out. Then she made it very clear that it would be obvious that baby wasn’t his. Like a fool I asked how and Megan pointed to her skin. Her Italian skin looked like it had a light tan all the time, along with Mickey’s. Apparently that guy she’d been sleeping with had much darker skin. And he wasn’t part of the family.
In other words, Megan would be a marked woman.
I watched her walk to the bathroom and I made a decision right then.
Tonight… I was cashing out of this life…
Megan let out a scream and I lunged for the bathroom. She had her mouth covered and was jumping up and down.
The pregnancy test was negative.
I couldn’t bring myself to remind her that it could have been early. That in another week or so it could be positive. That the tests were always as early accurate as the box said.
But I let her have her moment.
She hugged me tight and we both ended up jumping.
“It’s stress,” she said. “You know? Just stress.”
It was like she was trying to convince herself.
“Okay. Just calm down. Try to take it easy and focus, Megan. If you don’t get your…”
“I’ll be fine,” she said.
She looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
Next thing I knew she was grabbing her bag, downing the entire glass of wine, and saying she had to go.
She kissed my cheek and said, “Please keep this between us. Promise me, Ana.”
“Of course,” I said. “Megan, if you’re not happy, then do something. Don’t jump bed to bed. If you get yourself too deep…”
Megan reached up and wiped at my eye. It hurt a little and I winced. “Look in the mirror, Ana. Okay? If you’re not happy… then you do something.”
She left me standing there with a lump in my throat.
For the record, two days later, she got her period and her dirty secret remained intact for a long time.
Megan also left the second pregnancy test on the table. I hurried to hide it in the bathroom, not knowing I would need it sooner than I ever thought possible.
I went to my bedroom and got my shoebox of cash. I sat there and counted up every last dollar and dime, coming up with a figure that was way too short, but just enough to make the dream tempting.
I looked around the room and knew I could pack up a couple bags and just go.
So that’s what I did.
I was out. I was done.
Yeah, the memories of moving into town played through my mind. Climbing out of the truck and seeing Knox for the first time. Him helping us move everything into the apartment. The way he talked to his friend about me - on day one - showing me that he had interest. Not to mention all the wild times…
But I was done.
No more taking hits from anyone. No more Knox just popping up when he felt like it to check on me. My heart had been twisted up so tight it was dangling by a small thread.
I had my bags on my shoulders, the money all tucked away. My keys were in my hand and I mentally thought about how I’d call my landlady to ditch the apartment. Oh well to her. I had to protect myself. I had to save myself. I didn’t want to end up like Megan, you know?
I got to the door and opened it, freedom just a foot away.
Yeah, freedom was just a foot away… but not the kind I was hoping to find.
The freedom in front of me right then came with a name.
And I spoke it.
“Knox.”