With one flying leap I launch through the air and then abruptly land right in front of the menacing undergrowth protecting the chamber.
The vines and thorny bushes before me mysteriously begin to untangle themselves like snakes, and then they part to reveal the clear door.
The clear door.
Old friend.
Through the dense undergrowth, I can just make out the letters stamped on the side of the chamber: ATHENOS.
I reach for the door with my bloody talon.
Dr. Terrible pops up inside my head, and says: “Now do you know where your Queen is?”
Inside the chamber.
“How did you—”
Because you are a ruthless genius.
“No.”
I pause for a moment, considering.
Because I am Terrible?
“Yes, my grandson. All of this. I did for YOU.”
[ 71 ]
BACK INTO THE CHAMBER RETURNING, ALL MY SOUL WITHIN ME BURNING
As soon as I step inside the chamber, the screaming stops.
It’s dark in here. And foggy. There are these thick clouds floating through the air. Everything is the same, but everything is new. The fog is new. But I can still see things.
I mean those same two dragon skeletons are still sitting there erect in their chairs. Each of them has a gold crown setting on their skull.
My parents.
Now that I’m older, I can see the chamber for what it truly is. And here in the lair, the small screen is set up in front of these skeletons, still flashing the words:
DESTINATION: PLANET EARTH
This is the aftermath of my parents’ failed Fertility Mission. Because my ignorant father tried to take shortcuts by using time travel to get to their Designated Foreign Planet.
And back when all this happened, I was just an egg onboard their spaceship as it hurtled toward Earth.
But how did I survive the crash?
And now, at this moment, a very strange vision comes into my mind: The vision is of a patch of blue tranquil sky.
Then a black rectangle appears in the patch of sky.
Now the spaceship ATHENOS comes hurtling out of the black rectangle. The spaceship is covered in flames. The black rectangle vanishes. Now the blazing spaceship plunges toward Earth.
Suddenly the clear door of the spaceship opens and two talons frantically toss a big egg out into the air.
Mother.
The egg falls through the air. Falls through white wispy clouds.
Tumbles downward, spinning. The white shell glints in the sunlight.
Then falls through treetops. Bounces off of tree limbs, but never breaks.
Falls all the way down.
Bounces when it hits the forest floor.
Rolls to a stop in a bed of moss.
Now the egg trembles.
And a tiny black beak pecks a hole in the shell from the inside.
Then another hole.
I remember how the sunlight poured down into those holes and made my little eyes blink like crazy.
In the distance, a fiery explosion rises up out of the forest.
Mother and Father gone now.
So, for just a few sacred seconds, all three of us were alive at the same time here on Earth.
The explosion causes the forest floor to rumble and shake.
And so begins my life as an orphan.
Now the tiny black beak pecks another hole in the shell.
I remember how my little lungs in my chest were heaving because of how hard I was working, and I felt dizzy.
Another hole.
And now I am the only Survivor.
The only thing left from—
But at this moment my vision is interrupted by Runcita Floop, who comes dancing up to me out of the fog.
“I’m so glad you’re finally here!” purrs Runcita. “I was starting to wonder when you were going to show up. Wow. Look at your horns! They’re gorgeous!”
My Queen-to-Be.
My Luscious is here in the chamber.
Just as I knew she would be.
God bless you, Dr. Terrible.
[ 72 ]
RUNCITA
Runcita dances in close to me on the tips of her red toe claws.
“I want to lay your eggs, Gork,” she purrs. “Together we will conquer planet Earth and then raise a Colony.” Now Runcita is gyrating her scaly green body like she’s feeling real juicy, and her thick tail is waving back and forth like she’s aiming to hypnotize me. It’s as if she is possessed.
And that smell.
A super strange and dense aroma fills the lair, tickling my nostrils. It’s a kind of luscious funk smell. And it’s definitely sexy. The smell makes me feel like I’m soaking in a lava bath filled with some sort of luscious oils.
Runcita keeps pushing her glorious scaly green ass up into my groin as she dances. I feel my hormones rumble and dark clouds appear on the horizon of my mind. A powerful bolt of lust ripples through my haunches.
My nostrils flare.
This is her Mating Dance.
And that’s what this luscious oily odor is.
Dr. Terrible has done something to her. Induced her body into its Mating Cycle.
Dr. Terrible pops up on the audio feed inside my head, and says: “You’re wrong. I didn’t do anything to her. This is all natural. Just seeing you like this, it made her go into heat. That’s how it is for us Terribles. Get used to it.”
At that moment, the piercing scream inside the chamber starts back up.
[ 73 ]
THE FOG
There he is.
I can see him through the fog.
The screamer.
He is screaming so loud that something inside of him is going to burst.
Just his silhouette in the mist.
His glowing yellow eyes.
Standing maybe twenty feet away.
Dean Floop?
But he looks different.
I move in closer to get a better look.
And this is the gruesome part.
Seeing Dean Floop up close like this.
Seeing what Dr. Terrible has done to Dean Floop.
Then, at that moment, Dean Floop—or what’s left of Dean Floop—well he looks right at me and starts screaming even louder.
“Now THAT,” says Dr. Terrible inside my head, “is definitely NOT natural.”
[ 74 ]
DEAN FLOOP
A wolf.
Just seeing him like this, it’s insane.
He is a full-grown wolf, standing upright on his furry hind legs.
And he is screaming like a lunatic.
“Don’t think about it. Just blast him with a firestream,” hisses Dr. Terrible inside my head. “KILL him.”
Dean Floop is a big gray wolf, standing upright on his hind legs. But the wolf is wearing the Dean’s cloak and robe with his initials on it. And the wolf is wearing a black eye patch over one eye. It’s definitely Dean Floop.
What did you do to him, Dr. Terrible? The Evolution Machine?
“Yes,” says my scaly grandpa. “Now blast him with a firestream. Kill him and take your Queen!”