My shrunken heart is hammering so hard that for a second I think it’s going to explode out my chest and splatter all over the inside of the windshield.
Now I quickly raise the silver canister to my dome and spritz my fool horns with GrowGrow? gel. Then I tilt my scaly green head back and snort flames out my nostrils and start singing a WILL TO POWER poem:
“When it comes to your spaceship
the four magic words are:
don’t apologize
just monopolize!
Because if you want
to control your fate
and travel very far
then you must learn to dominate
your rebellious starcar!
And if anyone has the nerve to ask
what the heck you are
just tell them to mind their business
because you’re a budding czar!”
I feel the poem jacking me up with mega blasts of STRATEGIC DESTRUCTION COMBAT READINESS. The title of this poem is “Fear No Mechanical Creature, Because You Are Their Teacher.”
My nostrils flare.
And I feel seriously ruthless and fiendish.
Now I look out the windshield at the inky blackness of outer space and all the stars out there. The Control Display in front of me starts beeping and some of the lights flash on as the spaceship dashboard syncs up with the new conditions.
I flip a couple switches and adjust the pressure in the cabin.
Don’t apologize.
Just monopolize.
[ 50 ]
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
Outside the windshield, you can see all sorts of starcraft shooting around.
Domestic zoompods, combat crafts, gold trawlers, cargo transports, you name it.
Some of these ships are shooting in the opposite direction of us, screaming in off to our right and our left. They are entering Blegwethia’s atmosphere.
I can tell ATHENOS II is up to something but I also know better than to try and steer the ship back to Blegwethia. When you’ve just been kidnapped like this, it’s surprising how calm your mind gets and how you instantly start trying to adapt to the situation.
“Well done, sir,” says ATHENOS II. “We missed colliding with Dean Floop by two inches. Because of the proximity of his spaceship, we had a 99.8% chance of dying in that collision. Bravo.”
But I don’t freaking say anything.
Because I know if I open my beak I’m liable to shoot a hideous firestream into ATHENOS II’s Control Display and melt the entire control unit down.
So instead of shooting a firestream, I just grit my fangs and I lash my tail around.
Where the heck are we going?
And what about Fribby?
I know I’m going to have to do something savage, but I don’t know what.
Now as I look out the windshield I have to admit to myself that there is something soothing about seeing all these spaceships zooming around out here in space. Because some of these ships out here, like mine, have just rocketed clear of Blegwethia’s atmosphere for the purpose of interstellar travel.
Then almost out of reflex I reach up and touch my horns.
They are still as small as ever.
[ 51 ]
YOUR SCALY GREEN ASS IS ALREADY LONG GONE FROM WHERE YOU WERE JUST A SPLIT SECOND AGO
Outside the windshield, the stars whiz by like tracers.
Where is Fribby?
ATHENOS II is rocketing through space. And I have no idea where we’re going.
Now normally space travel is my favorite. This is what I was hatched to do.
One thing I love about space travel is that nobody back on your home planet ever knows exactly where you are, because all your particles are being catapulted at the speed of light.
When you’re whizzing through the void like this there’s no point in looking in the rearview mirror. Because your scaly green ass is already long gone from where you were just a split second ago. Out in space you are nothing but a big fat mystery to everyone, including yourself. And typically that’s just how I like it.
But I can’t enjoy our flight the way I normally would because every fool second that ticks by means I am getting farther and farther away from Runcita and my quest. Here I am wasting time getting kidnapped by ATHENOS II and shooting across the galaxy to who knows where. Already the events of this morning at WarWings seem a million light-years away, and just that realization sends a little jolt of terror down my tail.
“You OK, sir?” says ATHENOS II.
Like you really care, psycho. Look at you, trying to play good little spaceship. As if you’re not the reason I’m in this here mess.
“I’ve got everything under control here,” she says. “So you can feel free to move about the cabin.”
ATHENOS II’s voice is so edgy it could double as a serrated knife.
“If you don’t mind,” I growl, snorting firebolts out my nostrils. “I’m just sitting here trying to think.” Then I flap my wings and snarl, “Much easier for me to do, by the way, when you don’t open your big fat mouth.”
“Sorry, sir.”
That’s more like it.
I reach out with my thumb claw and key the Intercom Display and say: “Fribby? Are you there, Fribby? This is Gork. Give me a signal and let me know your location. Copy.”
I wait but there’s no answer.
I key the Intercom Display again.
“Fribby?”
No answer.
Now I swipe the Control Display and bring up the BioCon readout to track any other living organisms on the spaceship. I study the screen as it jumps from the Holodeck to the Fitness Suite to the Squad Bay to the Medical Center, etc., but nothing is showing up. According to the spaceship’s datastream, I am the only living creature on board.
Great.
It’s as if she’s vanished into thin air.
Fribby is gone.
[ 52 ]
MACHINE ON MACHINE CRIME
Well none of my fool professors at WarWings would ever accuse me of being a genius, but I’m smart enough to know that asking ATHENOS II what the heck is going on would be just plain stupid. Because sometimes ATHENOS II can be super kind and helpful but other times she can be downright psychotic. And based on everything that’s happened so far today, it sure seems like she’s in some sort of fiendish personal funk.
Maybe when the robot dropped down that hole in the floor she was catapulted out to the spaceship’s airlock?
And maybe ATHENOS II opened the airlock and used her muscular fleshy tentacles to shove Fribby out into space?
I picture Fribby’s chrome-flex body twirling through space, her lifeless red eyes studying the heavens.
Does ATHENOS II have that in her, to murder the robot?
I mean, there’ve been times in the past when ATHENOS II and Fribby have seemed like friends.
So is this possible: machine-on-machine crime?
Only one way to find out.
[ 53 ]
THE CASE OF THE MISSING ROBOT
“ATHENOS II?” I bellow. “Where’s Fribby?!”
No answer.
“ATHENOS II, you’d better answer me now or I’m going to fly to the nearest junk star and trade you in for scrap metal and parts.”
“Are you talking to me, sir?” says ATHENOS II.
“Don’t be an idiot. ’Course I’m talking to you! Where you been?”
“An idiot, sir?”
“Why didn’t you answer me?”
“I did answer you. Just now, sir.”
“I mean before. You didn’t answer me.”