The movie theater has a big sign on it with letters that start at the top of the building and go down to the door. The sign has a lot of colored lightbulbs on it but they are not lit up right now. The letters say Colony Cinema. I walk to the door and look up at the sign. It makes me dizzy when I look all the way to the top. I am cold. It would be good to go inside to get warm. I look at the door and see that no one is inside. Plus there’s a chain on the door which I’m guessing means I can’t get in. So I walk around the corner of the building to see if there is an open window because that is what Gloria told me to do one time when she needed to get into Donald’s house to get her money back.
Behind the movie theater a cat climbs over a fence. Papers are blowing around on the ground. I see an old bicycle with no wheels. There aren’t any open windows behind the movie theater but there’s a black staircase made of metal. It is up in the air but there is a ladder hanging down from it. It looks scary but I really want to get inside because the movie theater looks like a good place to get warm and maybe live and mostly I’m guessing I can watch movies there. There are windows up higher on the building and all of them are near the staircase.
I climb up the ladder and step onto the stairs and start going up. It is like walking on a black skeleton. I can see down to the ground and I feel like I could fall but I know there are windows up higher so I keep climbing. Finally I come to one. It is open so I climb inside.
It is dark in the room but I find the floor with one of my feet and pull my body all the way through the window. My backpack almost gets stuck. When I stand up I see a room with nothing in it except old blankets and black garbage bags and a door that is closed. There are pipes on the ceiling and a broken picture frame on the floor. Everything is dirty and it is hard to see because there are no lights.
Then I see a switch on the wall. I walk to it and flip it but nothing happens. So I say, “What, can’t I get some lights?”
But no one answers me.
And I think, Maybe this can be my room. I don’t like that there are no lights but there is a door and maybe a kitchen on the other side of it. I try to open the door but it is locked. So what I have is a room with no kitchen or bathroom or lights.
I stand in the middle of the room. I turn around and around and around. I see the window again and again as I spin. I hear the sound of cars outside. I do not hear people talking. I do not hear music. I do not hear the sound of someone washing dishes or Baby Wendy playing. And it is cold, cold, cold.
Which means this isn’t a good place to live.
Then I feel hungry which means I have to find something to eat. I am good at finding food. So I go to the window and climb out onto the metal stairs. When I get to the ladder I climb down to the ground but then I can’t remember which way the front of the movie theater is. I start walking until I come to a street.
And I see a police car.
The police car is not moving. It is parked next to a streetlight and a garbage can. There is no one in it which means the police officer is out of the car somewhere. He might be looking for me.
In my mittens I start to pick at my thumbs. I look up and down the street. I see an old lady bringing a dog somewhere on a leash. I see a man in a long coat go inside a building but I still don’t see the police officer which means he’s probably hiding somewhere or around the corner asking people, “Have you seen Ginny? She’s in a lot of trouble now.”
Now my hands are shaking and I am hyperventilating and my legs want to move, move, move. So I run.
I run past a fence and some more brick buildings. I run past piles of garbage and garbage cans. I run past cars that are parked and cars that are moving. I run past two old ladies and a man listening to headphones and a man wearing a winter hat with no pom-pom and a lady with a black coat and a black bag and silver earrings. There are loud noises everywhere. Engines and horns and sometimes people talking or the wind. And the air is cold and my feet are tired. I am breathing fast and I still don’t know where to go even though I need to find a place to live.
Then I feel wet on my back and my bottom and my legs. I stop running. I am on a sidewalk in front of a big glass window. There are people on the other side of it. I take off my backpack and look inside. The gallon of milk is empty. There are drops of milk on the plastic and all of my things are wet. The milk jug is broken. It has a big crack in it. I’m guessing the milk is what made everything wet even though nothing turned white.
Which means I don’t have any milk for my Baby Doll.
Then I remember how big it is and that it is not one year old.
I want to cry but I need to be a tough cookie. I want Gloria to come back in her car so I can say I’m sorry for making her mad. And I want to tell Krystal with a K that I’m okay with her being the Other Ginny and replacing me. I will say anything if Gloria will take me back and take me up to Canada with her. Because I need to belong somewhere and where I am isn’t anywhere at all.
But deep in my brain I know that I don’t want any of those things. I just want to be safe now.
I need to put the broken milk jug in a garbage can because it’s a rule that We do not litter but I don’t see a garbage can. I am still standing next to the big glass window. There is a lady on the other side of it. Looking at me. She is wearing an apron and has a tray in her hands with cups and mugs on it. She looks at me and puts one of her hands in the air and scrunches her face like she is confused and moves her mouth. So I say to her, “Don’t you know I can’t hear you? You’re on the other side of the window.”
She looks behind her and then looks back at me again. She makes a funny face and she starts talking.
So I say, “Don’t you understand me? I can’t hear you!”
Then the lady puts her tray down on a table and walks away. I’m guessing she had to go to the bathroom.
I’m still hungry and cold but I need to find a garbage can to put the milk jug in. My jeans are sticking to me because they’re wet and my legs and bottom are getting colder and colder. But there aren’t any garbage cans anywhere. There was one near the police car but I don’t want to go back there. I look down the street again and look across the street and then someone says, “Are you all right? Do you need help?”
I turn around. It is the lady from the window. She is on this side of it now. She is holding her arms like she is cold.
So I say, “Yes, I need help.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I broke the milk and my pants are wet,” I say. “Plus I have no place to live.” I’m hoping she will give me a nice warm place to stay.
The lady makes another funny face and says, “Are you hurt? Are you feeling all right?”
But that is two questions at once so I don’t say anything.
“Listen,” says the lady, “it’s really cold out here. Why don’t you come inside and we can talk? There’s a phone, if you need to call someone.”
But I don’t know who to call because my Baby Doll is six years old and I told Gloria I didn’t want to go with her and if I go back to the Blue House then Maura and Brian might make me live at Saint Genevieve’s Home for Girls Who Aren’t Safe. I don’t belong anywhere and I am not happy about it.
The lady is saying something else now but I can’t hear her. Because I’m still thinking. Then behind her I see a police officer walk out of the door she came out of.