I look at Baby Wendy and grab my hair. I take three deep breaths just like Patrice taught me to do and then start walking back to the court. Maura follows me with the stroller. When I get there I see Brian. He is next to the bench holding out my water bottle. He waves to Maura and Baby Wendy.
“Here you go, Ginny,” he says. “Have some water. That was quite a fall you took! What happened out there?”
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Did you get confused?”
“Yes,” I say and look back up to where Gloria and the Other Ginny were sitting. The space is empty. I wonder if she saw Maura and decided to leave. Or if she got scared by the police.
“Hey, Ginny. Are you ready to play again?” says Coach Dan’s voice. I look up. He is standing with me and Maura and Brian. “Alison came in when you left, but Brenda is ready for a break. What do you say?”
I know that I look like a cave girl. I know that my mouth is open and my head is down and that I am thinking. I am not interacting. I am withdrawing. That’s what Patrice says. She says I withdraw when I am upset and that I don’t think of anything when I withdraw but what I’m really doing is thinking really, really hard.
Someone says, “Ginny, let’s go sit down in the stands. Did you hurt your head when you fell?”
Someone else’s voice says, “Come with us and take a break. You’ve done a great job so far. You’ve made your dad and sister and me really proud.”
It is Maura. She is talking to me. About Brian and Baby Wendy.
I shake my head no. “I want to play,” I say.
“You do?” says Brian.
I look at the numbers on my watch and nod my head yes. “I want to play basketball with the Lee Lancers. I want to help us win.” Even though there is no us. There is only them. I stole three cell phones from people on the team and I don’t care about Larry at all. I made Mrs. Wake go away at school and made Crystal with a C go to jail. And now Brian and Maura might send me away to Saint Genevieve’s Home for Girls Who Aren’t Safe. I have been replaced by a new Ginny. I am (-Ginny) and I don’t belong anywhere. I’m not allowed to be part of something but I still want to win. At anything. Just once.
Coach Dan looks in my eyes and asks me to follow his finger. I follow it. I growl a little like a Maine coon and then he does a shoulder shrug and says, “She looks fine to me. It’s all up to you.”
“It’s all up to you,” I say as well because this is like part of a movie. Only I don’t remember the name. It might be Teen Wolf or The Empire Strikes Back or High School Musical.
They let me play.
81
EXACTLY 4:03,
SUNDAY, JANUARY 23RD
At Grammy’s house we are having a celebration dinner. Because we won gold medals at the tournament. We beat all the teams we played except one and that team won gold medals too. I am wearing mine right now.
After supper we are having a cake that says Congratulations, Ginny! on it. I saw it when I went to count how many bottles of soda were in the refrigerator. The cake is a chocolate cake with white frosting and red writing on it.
I am sitting in the living room watching Baby Wendy hold big fat Legos on the floor. It doesn’t know how to sit up yet. It doesn’t even know how to put the Legos together. I want to help it but I remember the most important rule. There is no reason for you to touch Baby Wendy whatsoever.
I brought my backpack with some things in it like my iPod and a puzzle and some maze books and some coloring books from Christmas in case I get bored. I brought Brenda Richardson’s phone too. It is in my pocket. I put it there when we took our coats off at approximately 2:32. Because I need to find a place to call Gloria. I need to ask her why she got the Other Ginny and why she came to Special Olympics and where my Baby Doll was but the house is full of people and I can’t find a quiet place.
My coat and hat and gloves are in the mudroom which is on the other side of the kitchen. My boots too. I will need those things to go outside into the yard. Outside is the only place where I can make the call, I’m guessing.
I walk into the kitchen. Everyone is talking. Maura is sitting at the table and Grammy is cooking and Uncle Will is leaning on the counter. They talk, talk, talk. And laugh too. They are having a great time. Granddad is in the other room with Aunt Jillian and Baby Wendy. Brian and Uncle John and Aunt Megan are somewhere in the house. I don’t know where.
I walk past everyone into the mudroom. I stand around the corner and put my things on. I don’t zip or snap my coat because I don’t want to make any noise. I am as quiet as a Maine coon walking on a carpet.
I walk out and shut the door behind me. It is colder than ever. I zip my coat and run down the steps and stand right next to the house where no one can see me from the windows. I take out Brenda Richardson’s cell phone and turn it on and dial Gloria’s number.
Gloria picks up. “Holy shit, I’m sorry! We’re sort of on the run at this point, and we needed a place to come in and get warm. Plus, I wanted a chance to see you! It’s like the old days—we’re living in the car. The tournament was the perfect place, since we need to be in town on Tuesday anyway. But, girl, I wanted to grab you and hug you so bad, but that cop was right there! I was afraid he’d recognize me or ask something, so we ducked out. Why are you calling? Is everything okay?”
I start picking at my fingers. I really, really want to say something but she asked two questions. I don’t know which one to answer first. Which makes me confused and anxious.
“Ginny?”
“What?”
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Because you asked two questions.”
“I did?” Gloria laughs. “Good old Ginny.”
But that is not true. I’ve changed a lot because I’m taller now and my hair is longer. I even wear a training bra. Plus I’m not who I’m supposed to be. So I say, “But my eyes are still green.”
She laughs again. “I’m sure they are, girlfriend,” she says. “So why are you calling?”
“You have to feed my Baby Doll,” I say.
Gloria makes a breathing sound. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know,” she says. “Are you going to start riding my ass like the social workers? I kept her alive this long. Doesn’t anyone get that? She’s a skinny little girl, okay? Didn’t you see her today? It was just a few hours ago. All the girls in my family are skinny. You included.”
I want to say No, Crystal with a C kept her alive this long. But I don’t care because I am confused. Because Gloria said Didn’t you see her today? and It was just a few hours ago. I don’t know what she means.
I swallow. “I didn’t see her today. Or a few hours ago. I saw the Other Ginny.”
“Excuse me?”
So I say, “I saw the Other Ginny. You left my Baby Doll in the Green Car and brought the Other Ginny to the tournament. But you can’t do that, Gloria. You can’t leave a tiny baby in the car. It’s way too cold to leave a baby in the car. You have to take excellent care of it.”