“Ginny, come talk with me in the hallway,” says Ms. Dana.
I stand up. I don’t answer Larry’s question because I am still mad. Because I don’t have a new secret plan yet. I need to figure out how to get back to Harrington Falls without the police finding me. Or how to get a ride up to Canada and then have Gloria come meet me there. Or how to get Crystal with a C out of jail so she can kidnap me again. I’m sitting here at school while my Baby Doll is in the apartment with Gloria and no one, no one is around to keep it safe.
34
EXACTLY 4:14 IN THE AFTERNOON,
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29TH
“Do you know who helped track you down when you were with Crystal with a C?” says Patrice.
“The man with the gun,” I say.
“No. There was someone else. It was extremely lucky that the hunter spotted you, and he did help a lot by calling. But there was another person, too.”
Patrice wipes her mouth with a napkin. We are eating brownies.
“It’s a confusing time when someone is kidnapped,” she says. “There were a lot of people across the country who thought they saw you in different places. When people look hard for a missing person, they make a lot of mistakes. So the police look for patterns. They look for numbers of sightings that are clustered in certain areas, and then they go to those areas.”
“Who was the other person?” I ask.
“That’s the interesting thing. The person who helped track you down didn’t actually see you himself. But he used to know Crystal with a C, and he remembered that she had a vacation cabin. The hunter called from the town where the cabin was, and the police went there to investigate.”
“Who was he?”
“Your dad.”
“My Forever Dad knew where the cabin was?”
“No. Your Birth Dad.”
“I don’t have a Birth Dad.”
“Yes, you do. Everyone does.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t know who my Birth Dad is even though everyone has one. Maybe it’s because I’m not everyone.
“Ginny, your Birth Dad helped us find you. Your parents didn’t want to even mention him at first, but now—Anyway, Gloria left him when you were born. Literally at the hospital. She kept in touch with him over the years by phone and email, but she wouldn’t let him see you. During the investigation he met your Forever Parents, and now he says he wants to get to know you.”
I think. And think some more. “Why?” I say.
“Because he’s your dad. Until last week, he didn’t know where you lived.”
I think. I think and think.
“Ginny, how do you feel about all this?”
“I don’t know,” I say.
“That’s fair,” says Patrice. “It’s happening kind of fast. But I want you to know that your Forever Parents think it’s pretty exciting. They think it’s a great idea for you to meet your Birth Dad. As soon as you’re ready.”
“As soon as I’m ready?” I say.
“Yes, as soon as you’re ready.”
“When will that be?”
Patrice laughs. “Knowing you, I’d say in about two seconds.”
35
EXACTLY HALLOWEEN—2:05,
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31ST
We are in the parking lot at school and I am putting on my ghost costume. It is a sheet with holes in it so my eyes can see out. I was going to wear my new witch costume but then I changed my mind. Because I don’t want to be me anymore. I want to be able to be invisible instead. I want to be (-Ginny) because my Baby Doll is all alone with Gloria and I’m mostly not smart enough to figure out how to go get it.
But I don’t say that to anybody. I’m keeping it a secret in my brain.
When I changed my mind about the costume my Forever Mom said, “Honestly, Ginny, if we’d decided this last week, we could have bought two new sets of sheets for the price of that witch costume. And you could still be wearing the exact same thing you’re wearing now.”
But that wasn’t a question.
I stand next to the car and wait for my Forever Mom to help straighten my costume. She straightens it at the bottom and moves the top so that my eyes can see through the holes we cut together. “There,” she says.
“Ooooooh!” I say in a high voice. Because that is what a ghost says.
“Very good,” my Forever Mom says. “You make an excellent ghost.”
I say, “Ooooooh!” again because I am still wearing the costume. Plus I like making scary sounds. They make me feel strong.
“All right,” says my Forever Mom. “It’s time to go in.” This is the first time she has gone anywhere with me since my Forever Sister was born. My Forever Dad is home watching it.
There are lots and lots of cars in the parking lot but I stop counting after nine. When we get to the door my Forever Mom pulls it open. Inside we hear music. We follow the hallway to the gym where there are kids from the whole school and all of them are dressed up and moving fast. There are orange and black decorations everywhere. A lot of the little kids have butterfly and pumpkin costumes. Some are dressed up as trains and cars. There are bigger kids dressed as M&M’s and werewolves and zombies.
I start to pick at my fingers.
There are witches and princesses. Someone is even dressed like a cow. And all of them are making noise. So much noise I can’t stand it. The music is way too loud. A lot of the kids are yelling and trying to scare each other. I see vampires and gypsies. I see a giant bug and a cat. I even see a kid dressed up as a baby. It is like all the things that are in my brain came out.
So I take my costume off. I pull the sheet down off my head and stand there holding it.
“Ginny, why did you do that?” says my Forever Mom.
And I say, “We need to leave now.”
And she says, “Why?”
“Because it’s too loud.”
“Ginny,” my Forever Mom says, “we just got here. I’m trying to spend time with you without the baby.” She looks back and forth fast and lifts her foot and puts it down again. “Don’t you want to walk around and find your friends?” she says. “What about Larry and Kayla? What about Alison? I bet Ms. Dana is here, too.”
I think she asked me a question but I can’t remember what it was so I don’t say anything. A small boy in a green mask runs past me. His shoulder touches my costume. “Ow!” I yell and step back. Someone else knocks into me. I recoil and almost bump into a boy who is dressed like a football player. He says, “Hey!” and makes an angry face. I recoil again.
My Forever Mom’s lip rises. “Fine,” she says. Through her teeth. “No one can say I didn’t try. Now let’s go.”
She shoves her hand out. I used to like holding her hand but I don’t take it. Because I’m not who I used to be anymore and I don’t think my Forever Mom likes the person I turned into. I don’t think I like the person I turned into either.
We walk back out of the gym and through the hallway and back outside. The air is cold but it feels good on my face. Halloween is not the same as it used to be when I was with Gloria. Nothing is the same as it used to be. I am not Ginny anymore.
I am not Ginny.