“Yeah.”
I’m a little surprised I care enough to have a lump in the pit of my stomach on her behalf. I was pretty wary about the whole roommate situation when I got to Berkeley last fall. I’m not a big sharer, so Zoey was a perfect friend. She was generally too hung up on her own shit to dig too deeply into mine. Aimee annoyed the living hell out of me most of first semester. She’s just way the fuck too peppy. But I’ve gotten used to her and she’s turned out to be a good friend.
When she gets back from the bathroom in her jammies, she flips off the overhead light and we all pile onto my bed, because it has a better view of the TV. Nate props my pillows against the wall and wedges himself in between Aimee and me. He throws an arm around each of us, then leans his forehead into hers. “He’s a dick. You can do better.”
She smiles a little and lifts a hand to squeeze Nate’s, where it rests on her shoulder. “Not sure that’s true, but thanks.”
He turns and smiles at me, and my heart warms when I see the compassion in his eyes. He really can be a good guy when he wants to be. I should give him more credit.
He gives me a long kiss, then fast forwards through the rest of the previews.
The movie starts and we lean back against the wall and watch. We’re barely through the opening credits and I’m already struggling to keep my eyes open. Nate pulls my head to his shoulder and fingers my hair, and it’s so soothing that a few minutes into the movie, I feel myself losing the battle. It’s been a stressful week. I tuck my legs under me and settle my body heavier against Nate’s. He kisses my forehead and continues to stroke my hair.
I decide to close my eyes for just a minute, just a quick power nap. Then I’ll be good to go.
∞
I’m aware that the place I am right now—in Caiden’s bed, my legs twisted into his and his soft breath in my hair—is just a dream. It’s one of those super realistic dreams, though. Probably because, when I really was in this place, it was the happiest I’ve been in my life. But I’m hovering on that edge between wake and sleep, with just enough awareness to know that it can’t be real. Caiden’s gone.
I want to stay here, wrapped in Caiden’s warm, earthy scent forever. But the sound of someone knocking on the door pushes me off that razor’s edge from asleep to awake. I try to open my eyes and tell them to go away, but I’m still asleep enough that neither my eyes nor mouth will work.
The knocking grows louder and picks up in pace. I roll on my back and throw an elbow over my face, trying to hold onto Caiden for just a few more minutes.
The muffled sound of someone groaning cuts through my fantasy.
My eyes snap open and I sit up. All of a sudden, my heart is pounding in my throat.
The room is pitch black, but what I instantly know is the sound’s not someone knocking on the door. It’s something banging against the wall. The sound of creaking starts keeping time with the banging. There’s a moan and the rustling of sheets.
I reach for the flashlight on the shelf next to my bed and click it on, shining it in the direction of the sound.
My roommate is on her back in her bed, her flannel PJ pants dangling from one ankle and my sweaty boyfriend bouncing between her legs.
Nate stops pumping and his eyes flash in the light like a raccoon caught raiding the neighbor’s garbage can. He jumps off her, his latex sheathed hard-on glistening in the flashlight with my roommate’s cum.
“Well, at least you were safe,” I spit.
Nate yanks his boxers up his thighs and puts his dick away, condom and all.
I throw the covers off and bolt for the door, but Nate lunges for me. He gets ahold of my arm and spins me around. “It’s not what you think, babe.”
“That’s seriously what you’re going with? Because I’m pretty sure I just saw you riding my roommate like the fucking Energizer Bunny!”
“Oh, God,” I hear Aimee whimper. There’s a flurry of movement in the fringes of light as she scrambles to get dressed. “Blaire, please. It was just…we…” Her mouth keeps moving but words stop coming. She finally gets her pants up and tied and moves a step closer, into the light. Tears glisten on her cheeks. “You can’t tell Erik.”
Rage boils up inside me and it’s a damn good thing for both of them it’s a flashlight in my hand rather than something sharp. “You know what, Aimee? Fuck you.”
I turn for the door again, but Nate grabs me and pins my back against it with a hand on each shoulder.
“Babe, please,” he says. “Just hear me out.”
I yank out of his grip and huff a derisive laugh, then flip the switch next to the door for the overhead light and cross my arms over my chest. “Okay. I’m listening.”