“Can we go?” She looks up at me with the biggest blue eyes. “Please, Cow-l. Pretty, pretty please can we go to Dreamland? It’ll be the bestest birthday ever.” The way she looks up at me with her gap-toothed smile makes me weak in the knees.
You got yourself into this mess by opening your big mouth. Now fix it.
“You need to ask your mom.” I throw the invisible stick of dynamite into Lana’s hands.
Lana mouths I’m going to kill you.
At least I’ll leave this world knowing I gave a five-year-old kid the bestest birthday present.
Cami turns to her mother and latches on to her legs. “Please, Mommy? I will pick up my toys and eat all my vegetables forever. I swears.”
I snicker, earning a death glare from Lana.
She looks up at the ceiling and sighs. “I guess we’re going to Dreamland.”
I fire off a quick text to Rowan while Cami and Lana debate which ice cream they want to buy. Lana is pushing for the BOGO Ben and Jerry’s while Cami moans about popsicles.
I’m going to need a favor.
I grab the box of colorful Popsicles and drop them in the cart while Lana isn’t looking, earning a wide grin from Cami. Having them argue over a budget is pointless when I planned on paying for the whole cart anyway. It’s the least I can do if Lana is cooking dinner for me.
My phone buzzes a second later, which is a fast turnaround time for Rowan. He usually only looks at his phone a few times a day now with all the Dreamland meetings he packs into his schedule.
Iris
What favor?
Shit. I texted the family group chat instead of Rowan individually.
Ignore that. I meant to text Rowan.
Dick-lan
At least you’re talking to one of us.
Whose number got added to the group chat and why?
Declan sends a solo middle finger emoji, and I laugh underneath my breath.
Iris
I hate it when you two fight.
Dick-lan
I’m trying to be the mature one here, but Cal keeps running away before I have a chance to say sorry.
I’m not running away, asshole. I’m just busy.
Dick-lan
Doing what?
Since when do you care?
Dick-lan
…
Iris
*Facepalm.*
Rowan sends me a private text after. I explain what I need while Lana double-checks her shopping list.
Rowan
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Nothing has felt more right in a long time.
I mean it in more ways than one—not that my brother would understand. Spending time with Cami and Lana makes me feel whole in a way I haven’t felt in years, and I’d do just about anything to keep it that way.
Rowan
Zahra already volunteered to plan the best birthday ever. Her words, not mine.
If there is one person I trust to give Cami the ultimate Dreamland experience, it would be none other than Zahra. She is the biggest Dreamland fan ever and the Top Creator in the park.
Thanks in advance.
Rowan
Whatever it takes to keep the smile on your face, pretty boy.
An idea dawns on me, and I shoot him another message.
Whatever it takes?
Rowan
I’m going to regret saying that, aren’t I?
I have one more favor to ask.
I follow up with a Hail Mary request, knowing there is a chance he won’t be able to pull it off on such short notice.
I understand if you can’t…
Rowan
Give me forty-eight hours.
32
ALANA
Cal and Cami are chatting away as I drive down Main Street. Cami hasn’t stopped asking him questions about Dreamland ever since I agreed to the trip at the grocery store, and he has been a champ while answering every single one.
The warm feeling in my chest intensifies as Cami breaks out into a fit of giggles at whatever Cal said. He chuckles, and I look over at him.
Except something in the window catches my attention.
My eyes bulge. I brake hard, causing all of us to jolt forward from the momentum.
“What’s wrong?” Anxiety bleeds into his voice.
I look out the back window and find the road empty. “One second.”
He looks at me like I might be going crazy.
Maybe you are.
I shift the car into reverse before parking in front of the abandoned store.
No.
I nearly crawl on top of Cal’s lap to get a better look out his window.
The once-empty shop window now has a giant red Coming Soon sign plastered across it, advertising some fast casual dining restaurant opening later this year.
You’re too late.
Watching someone else live my dream feels like a punch to the gut. Like I was so close to finally achieving what I had hoped for, only to fall short by a few months.
It’s stupid to feel a sense of loss over a shop that wasn’t even mine. I have no one to blame but myself in this situation. If I had been selfish, maybe I would have had the money to buy it.
But I couldn’t turn my back on those I loved.
I didn’t want to.
If I was to go back in time knowing everything I know now, I would still make the same choices, even if it meant losing all my money again in the process. Because trying to treat Mom’s cancer and not giving up on Anto because Mom never did was worth every penny.
“Is everything okay?” Cal asks.
I nod despite the tightness in my throat. His gaze roams over my face, although I don’t dare look him in the eyes.
“You look sad,” Cami adds as she peeks over the side of Cal’s chair.
My nod is weaker this time, and my chin trembles.
Cal turns my face toward him with a single finger. “How can I fix it?”
How can I fix it?
I bite down on the inside of my cheek, fighting the temptation to vent.
Screw it.
“You can’t. I just thought one day maybe I could…” My eyes travel toward the shop.
“Open your bakery there,” he finishes for me.
My throat becomes impossibly tight as I nod. “It sounds stupid in theory.”
“It’s not.” He speaks without a single ounce of judgment.
“Isn’t it, though? It’s not like I have the money or time right now.”
“I’m sure when it’s the right time, the perfect opportunity will come up.”
I take one last look at the shop, knowing that although my dream to open a bakery one day is alive and well, the wish to open my shop on Main Street might not ever happen.
Cal lifts my chin up. “When you’re ready one day, I’d love to be there to cheer you on.”
Everything in me wants to believe him, yet I can’t deny the kernel of doubt growing within my gut.
He may not even be here one day.
I want to ask him more about what he means, but Cami chucks her stuffed animal onto my lap.
“Here, Mommy. Lamby always helps me when I’m sad.”
“Thank you, baby.” My voice is thick with emotion. I press Lamby against my chest and squeeze him so hard, I’m afraid his stuffing might burst.
Cal continues answering Cami’s questions about Dreamland while I drive home. I can feel Cal’s eyes occasionally sweeping over me, but I pretend not to notice as I focus on the road.