“Antonella. It’s been a while.”
She sneers. “Don’t tell me my little sister took you back.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Like hell it isn’t.” She tries to walk around me, but I block her path.
“Get out of my way.” She speaks through clenched teeth.
“No.”
“I need to speak with Alana.”
I give my head a hard shake. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Because you said so?” Her frown deepens.
“Because you’re strung out.”
Staring into her beady eyes feels like I’ve been thrown back into the past. If anyone understands Antonella’s desperation for her next fix, it’s me. Going through my own shit made me aware of the darkness and self-loathing that fester right below the surface, waiting to be unleashed.
“Like you’re one to judge. Lana told me all about your issue with Oxy. It nearly broke my sister when she realized the man she loved let her down just like everyone else.”
Her blow lands its intended mark right over my heart.
You’re not that guy anymore.
I switch tactics before I lose my cool. “I can get you the help you need.”
There is a certain spark in her eyes. “Like money?”
“Like rehab, therapy, and whatever you need to have a clean start.” I tuck my hands into the pockets of my sweats.
Her head shakes. “I just wanted a place to stay and some money to get back on my feet.”
“I can head over to the motel and book you a room or I can fly you out to a facility and cover the cost, but I’m not going to give you cash.” Doing so would only enable her addiction and hurt Lana even more, neither of which I find acceptable.
Her head shakes, making her thin hair fly. “I don’t want to go to a facility again.”
I check out the marks across her arms. “That’s the only way you’ll be able to manage that.”
She pulls at her sleeves again.
I try one last time. “If you decide differently, all you need to do is give me a call and I can take you somewhere where they can help you get better. I haven’t changed my number.”
Her head shakes. “I’m not ready.”
“I understand.” Far more than I’m comfortable acknowledging. As much as I hate to admit it, I get Antonella and her decisions in a way Lana never can. Having an addiction isn’t easy to accept, let alone treat.
“If you understood me, then you’d help me.” Her pitch rises, reminding me so much of Lana when she gets upset.
“I am offering to help. Just not in the way you want.”
Her gaze hardens. “Fuck you, Cal.”
My lips press together.
She rips at her cuticle, making the skin bleed. “Just let me see my sister. I… Shit.” Her head hangs. “The last time I was here, I did some screwed-up things and I want to apologize.”
“Not like this, Antonella. You of all people should know how much it hurts her to see you this way.”
She looks away. “Fine.”
“Do you want me to book you a room at the motel?”
“Hell no. I’m going to crash on a friend’s couch who lives a few towns over.” Her hair flies from how hard she shakes her head.
“If that’s what you want. Just know that I meant what I said. If you need help, all you need to do is call me. But if you come back here again without being clean, I’ll make sure you never see your sister again.”
She turns toward her rundown car packed to the roof with boxes and personal belongings. It’s sad to see the mess her life has become.
I wish I could help her, but I need to protect Lana first and foremost.
I check on Cami before knocking my fist against the locked bathroom door. “Lana?”
“Is she gone?”
“Yeah. I waited until her car drove off before coming back inside.”
“Thank you.” Her sniffle is soft but audible, making my muscles tighten.
My hand chokes the doorknob. “Open up for me.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Please.”
Her heavy sigh is followed by the flick of the lock. I open the door to find Lana sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her legs.
“Hey.” I kneel beside her and pull her into my arms. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I thought I would be used to this by now.” Her fingers wrap around the cotton fabric of my shirt.
“Used to what?”
“The disappointment.” Her chin trembles.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave my mouth in a rush.
She shifts her gaze to the floor. “It’s not your fault Antonella is the way she is.”
“No, it’s not. But I’m sorry for being another person who let you down because I was too selfish to do anything else.”
Some of the tension bleeds from her muscles as she releases a heavy sigh.
“Seeing your sister…shit. I understand her and where she is coming from, but I also want to shake her for hurting you and Cami like she has.”
Her nails dig into my skin. “Does being grateful that she gave Cami up make me a bad person?”
“No, Lana. It makes you human.” My arms around her tighten. “Antonella is in no position to look after a child. And you… You were born to be that little girl’s mother.”
She looks up at me with tear-soaked lashes and glassy eyes. “You think so?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything.”
30
CAL
Fix a house, Iris said.
It’ll be fun, she said.
What a load of bullshit.
With the asbestos team hard at work on the main house, Lana and I are forced to make some tough decisions about the remodel.
She pushes aside the fifth cabinet sample. It slides across the coffee table, straight into the other samples she rejected. “No.”
“What do you mean no?” My right eye twitches.
Lana and I have been at this since she dropped Cami off at her summer camp two hours ago, and we haven’t made much progress. The only thing we have agreed upon is the new shape of the pool.
At this rate, it’s going to take us three years to pick out everything that needs to go into the house. As it is, Ryder is already pressuring me about ordering the supplies if we want to make our deadline.
There is no want. I need the property to be listed by the end of August if I plan on meeting my grandfather’s deadline.
“It looks cheap.” Her forehead creases.
“How is that even possible? Each cabinet costs over a thousand dollars.”
Her eyes widen. “For one cabinet? But we need like…”
“Just ignore what I said.” The last thing I want to do today is argue about money too.
She stares at the cabinet a little longer. “Nope. Still hate it, hefty price tag and all.”
“What do you like?”
“I don’t know.” She makes the cutest exasperated sigh as she looks up to the ceiling.
Maybe our issue isn’t that the options are bad, but rather Lana doesn’t know what she wants.
“Let me grab my laptop. I think I have an idea.”