“You’re in love with him. Do you think dodging a date will make that disappear?” Eliza asked.
“No! But I think it will give him more time to realize how fucked up this whole thing is. He wasn’t supposed to develop feelings for me. And, now that I know he has, I can’t seem to keep mine shut down anymore.” I groaned. “No. This isn’t happening. He loves Mia. I can’t fill those shoes. He needs to get over this…so I can too. End of story.”
Ash’s eyes lifted to Eliza then back to me. “Love is different. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. And it’s definitely not universal or transferable. There are no shoes to fill. Whatever you and Quarry have is unique to the two of you. It’s not what he had with Mia—and I mean that for better or worse. You can’t compare his feelings. If Quarry is risking what you two have to take it to the next level, then you have to assume they are pretty freaking strong.”
She drew in a deep breath and lowered her voice as if she were going impart some serious wisdom. “If you hear nothing else I say today, please hear this. It took me a long time to realize this, and I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes. So listen up.” She leaned toward me, her eyes imploring. “There are no shoes to fill, Liv. And the way I know this is because, if there were, Mia would have been filling yours for years.”
My heart stopped. “You…you don’t know what you’re talking about. Quarry loved Mia.”
Eliza nodded. “He did. Very much. But he loved you first.”
I shot to my feet. “You don’t know that.”
“We all know that! Everyone who has ever seen you two together knows that! It’s not a competition between you and Mia, Liv. It’s not an affair. It’s not some dirty little secret. It’s life. So cut yourself some slack. Go on a date with the guy you’ve always wanted, talk to him, and then figure out how to start the real relationship you both so obviously want.” Ash threw her arms out to the sides in frustration and then turned to Eliza. “Christ! Please tell me I wasn’t this stubborn.”
Eliza giggled. “Worse.”
I stood frozen.
Could it be that easy?
I had to admit flighty-and-crazy Ash wasn’t too shabby at advice.
While the chat about Mia did make me feel marginally better, the biggest problem I saw with all of this was that, in order to be with Quarry, I was going to have to find a way to trust him.
It was impossible.
“He loved you first.”
“I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted.
“Well, that’s better than the ‘I can’t do this’ you were claiming a few minutes ago.” Ash smiled and tossed my cell phone into my lap. “Start there.”
Me: I’m going to the community center and setting up some stuff for Don so he can handle my tutoring appointments for tonight. What time should I be ready for our date?
Quarry: Actually, I’m busy tonight. Can we do something tomorrow?
Me: That’s better for me anyway. The male revue is in town for tonight only.
Quarry: Jesus. I was kidding. You aren’t going to a fucking male revue.
Me: I was kidding too…kinda.
Quarry: I’ll pick you up at seven. Dress warm.
Me: Are you sure about this? I mean…this is weird.
Quarry: I’ll pick you up at seven. Be naked. Better?
Me: Aaaaaaaanddddd…I’ll dress warm. K. Thanks.
I SPENT THE DAY RUNNING around to get everything ready for my date for Liv. She was going to absolutely hate every single minute of it. Which was precisely why I was so excited. I hadn’t been lying—I did have somewhere special to take her, but I had a sneaking suspicion it was only going to be special for me. I could live with that though.
With my hand poised in the air, I stared at the second hand on my watch until it clicked to seven o’clock. After knocking, I nervously shoved my free hand in the pocket of my slacks.
“What are you doing?” she asked when she pulled the door open. “Did you lose your key?”
I smiled wide as I took her in. Liv was beautiful. I was well aware of that. But, that night, knowing she’d gotten dressed just for me, I felt things I hadn’t expected.
“What the hell, Liv!” I growled, extending the bouquet of white roses her way.
“Um…thanks?” she replied, hesitantly taking them from my hand.
“I’m offended!” I tugged at the collar of my dress shirt and then straightened the lapels on my suit coat.
She bit her lip to stifle a laugh. “It’s the jacket. You know how it cuts off the oxygen to your brain and all.” She giggled, but I found not one thing funny.
“You’re wearing jeans and a sweater.” I made a show of raking my eyes from her head to her toes and back again.
Liv looked undeniably gorgeous. The dark skinny jeans were tight, and the tall, black heels elongated her already-long legs. Her pale-purple sweater hugged her tits perfectly. I was sure it would have given a spectacular show when we walked into the cool October night air. However, the fact still remained that she was wearing jeans and a sweater.