Folding forward, I rested my face on the cool granite. “Oh my God. This is not happening.”
Her hand soothingly landed on my back. “Quit freaking. One thing at a time. Okay, so you slept with Quarry. That’s good, right?”
“You guys were supposed to be surprised,” I told the table.
“The only surprise is that it took this long,” Ash said, hopping up on the counter and propping her neon Converse in the chair beside me.
I rolled my eyes and then sat up. “This is officially the worst day of my life.”
“The sex was that bad, huh?” Ash asked before looking toward Eliza, who was shooting her a death glare. “What? It’s a valid question.”
I groaned. “No. The sex was…incredible. I just don’t think I can give him what he wants.”
Ash nodded in understanding. “Ah…he’s kinky? I can see that.”
“Don’t answer that!” Eliza yelled and plugged her ears. “For God’s sake, Ash.”
I pulled Eliza’s hands away from her ears. “He’s not kinky.”
“Shame,” Ash mumbled.
I ignored her. “I’m scared,” I whispered.
Eliza settled on the stool beside me. “Of what? That things will change between you two? Because when Till and I—”
I interrupted her. “I’m scared that I’ll never be her.”
They both sighed, and a pair of arms folded around me in a tight hug.
They weren’t Eliza’s.
It was Ash.
“Don’t say that. When Flint and I—”
But that wasn’t even the half of it.
“Mia loved him so much. I can’t stop feeling like we’re having some sort of torrid affair behind her back.”
Ash squeezed tighter.
I kept going. “And then there’s the fact that I’m a terrible excuse for a friend. Because I’ve been in love with him for a really long time.” I lifted my gaze to Eliza’s, ready for the disgust I deserved when I confessed, “Even when Mia was alive.”
Her lips thinned in a sympathetic smile.
Ash squeezed me again.
Tears filled my eyes as I swallowed hard. “And the absolute, most horrifying part of all of it is that there are so many reasons why we shouldn’t be together. But I still can’t seem to stop hoping that maybe we can.” I sniffed back the tears I refused to shed.
“Okay. It’s nine a.m. Wine is out. But I’ll get the Baileys for your coffee,” Eliza announced.
“I’ll call Flint to pick up the boys.”
“No. It’s fine. Don’t do that,” I insisted.
“Too late. Let me get Blakely and Till moved to her room, and we’ll reconvene in Chick Central in ten minutes.”
“Eliza, stop! You have enough to deal with with Blakely right now. You don’t need me moping and crying all day too. Besides, I have a class at the community center this afternoon and a million things to do for Quarry. I can’t be drunk.”
“Stop worrying. Blakely will probably dub you as her favorite aunt if she finds out you delayed me telling her dad about her period.”
“Hey!” Ash objected.
Eliza lifted a hand to hush her. “And for the rest of it. Fine, no Baileys. But Quarry can answer his own e-mails today. This is more important. And I think he’d agree.”
She had a point. He definitely would agree with her. And I desperately needed to talk all of this stuff through with someone who wasn’t him.
“Yeah. Okay,” I relented.
An hour later, the three of us were sprawled out in Eliza’s art room. I had just filled them in on the last month of my life—starting with the night of the Gala and ending this morning, when I’d snuck out from under Quarry’s arm draped possessively across my hips.
“Wow,” Eliza said then looked at Ash. “Well, do you want to start or should I?”
“I’ve got this.” Ash dramatically cleared her throat then offered me a healthy dose of pity by way of a tight smile. “You’re fucked.”
I ignored her and turned my attention to Eliza only to find her nodding.
“Well. Awesome. That clears it all up,” I smarted, pushing to my feet.
“Sit down!” Ash called. “I was just getting started.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and gave her my full attention for what I was positive was going to be a waste of time. “Go on.”
“I never understood why he was with Mia.”
I flinched. Never would I have expected those to be her first words.
“It’s harsh, but true,” she continued. “You’ve heard about when Quarry was fourteen and his mom tried to regain custody, right?”
I nodded, settling back down on the futon.
“Then I’m sure you also know that she was married to my dad and that Quarry lived with me for about a month. Well, every night, we would stay awake until the early morning, talking. I was mostly pumping him for information about Flint, but he filled my ears with you.”
“Seriously?” I blinked in shock.