While our apartment was relatively nice, it was still an apartment. The water pressure was shit when someone was in the shower, which…up until that moment had been annoying as hell. But, as I waited not so patiently for the signal that Liv’s shower had turned off, I definitely considered it a perk.
My hearing aids were in a case on my nightstand, and I was wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a gray thermal top Eliza had given me for Christmas the year before. They had never been worn, and I could promise they’d never be worn again. I’d felt like I was wrapping myself in a cotton body condom just pulling the damn shirt on. But, if I wanted my plan to work, sacrifices had to be made.
When the water on the faucet suddenly picked up to full blast, I turned it off and shifted my attention to the clock on the stove. For ten agonizing minutes, I stared at those sluggish, red numbers, nervously waiting until I was sure she was dressed.
Strolling past her door with the casual coolness of a man on fire, I spotted the blue tint of her nightlight.
That was my cue.
She was in bed.
And, in less than a minute, I would be too.
I opted for the element of surprise, pushing her door open without so much as a knock.
She sat straight up as I stepped into her room.
Her mouth moved with words I was able to read as, “Hey, what’s up?”
My cocky grin shifted to a grimace when I caught sight of the glistening tracks of her tears.
I wanted to ask if she was okay. But I knew she wasn’t. She had probably been in that shower drowning herself in worthless guilt while trying to frantically scrub away whatever had been left of me from between her legs. Not too long ago, the idea of her cleansing me from her body would have wrecked me. Now, with the knowledge that she was not only on the same page I was, but fourteen years’ worth of pages ahead of me, I was willing to let it go. After our conversation in the ring, Liv could reject me for the rest of her life and I’d never stop trying.
I didn’t say anything as I flipped her covers back and slid into the bed beside her. I faintly heard the bass line of whatever music she was playing, or maybe that was the pounding in my chest when I saw she was wearing those little, pink shorts again.
Her mouth moved, no doubt to scold me, but I gave her arm a tug and pulled her down onto my chest.
“I gave you time.”
She pushed away and lifted her hands to translate the accusation her voice was communicating. “An hour is not time!”
“It was actually only thirty minutes, but I’m a man who lives life in three-minute increments in the ring. Rest assured, it felt like a lifetime. I’d like to note that I’m not naked. That was all I promised you. Now. Can we get some sleep? I’m exhausted.” I fake yawned and stretched my arms.
She shot me the glare I’d expected. “You’re not sleeping in here!”
“Yes, I am.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.” I grabbed her hand to stop her from signing again. “It’s late, and we have a date tomorrow night.”
Her eyes grew wide as she yanked her hand from my grasp. “We do not have a date.”
“Yes, we do.”
She huffed and then swung her legs over the side of the bed. True to her word at the gym, she didn’t leave. Her hands fisted the edge of the mattress, and her chin fell to her chest in defeat.
Starting to feel guilty, I looped an arm around her waist and dragged her back against me. “Rocky, listen.”
Her hands started to respond, but I guided them down.
“Don’t talk. Don’t sign. Just listen.”
She rolled her eyes, but her tense body relaxed a fraction.
“Tonight, you told me that, every single day since we met, you’ve been in love with me. It’s been playing on repeat in my head since you said it. Truthfully, I’m not sure I’ll ever forget it. Tomorrow night, on our date”—I shot her a challenging glare and received yet another eye roll—“we’ll deal with all the other crap you threw at me, but tonight, you’re stuck sleeping with me. I’m sorry, but I think fourteen years has been more than enough time alone.”
Her eyes cut to the ceiling. “This… Being here with you… I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. Please, God, don’t be scared.” I flipped to my stomach, draping an arm over her midsection and gliding my palm under her back, forcing her closer to me. Holding us both up on an elbow, I brushed her dark hair away from her face. “We’ll figure this out, I swear. Just give me tonight. Yesterday, I damn near had a nervous breakdown because I could feel you slipping through my fingers. I’ve survived a lot in my life. But that? Losing you? I wouldn’t have recovered.” I pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “Then, tonight, I found out that you’ve always been mine. Every. Single. Day.” I kissed her again, breathing in deeply and refusing to exhale.
She didn’t exactly kiss me back, but her hand reassuringly settled on my back. A telling gesture I recognized for the first time. She was uncomfortable as hell—and still comforting me.
That was Liv.
“It’s been a hard twenty-four hours. Just give me, like, eight more of sleeping next to you, and then you can have all day tomorrow to twist shit up in your head. I’ll untangle it”—I paused to smirk—“on our date.”
Her chest rose with a suffering sigh, but she eventually nodded.