She’s pregnant with Clifford’s.
“I wasn’t paying attention.” She continues to cry. “I was so busy I didn’t…” More tears. “Then I got sick on Valentine’s Day, but I thought it was stress.”
She blabs on and on, and all I can do is hold her tight as if I’m physically holding us together because I’m fucking dying, thinking these could be the last few moments we’ll have together.
“I need to take a pregnancy test to be sure.”
“What?” Even my own voice sounds like it’s coming from another room.
“I could be wrong.”
“So, you’re saying you might not be pregnant with that sorry son of a bitch’s baby?”
She shrinks away at the anger in my voice, but fuck it! I’m angry. I go back and forth between my instinct to comfort her and the urge to shake her until her head pops off. What the fuck did she think would happen? And how could she fuck that guy without protection? The thought alone makes me fucking homicidal. I shove my hand through my hair and focus on my breathing.
“I need to take a test to be sure—”
I jerk free of her and make sure she’s covered and tucked in before heading across the room. “Give me ten minutes. We’ll swing by the drugstore on our way to your mom’s.” I slam the bathroom door behind me, not waiting for her reply.
I stare at myself in the mirror and can see the barely contained rage that ripples through my muscles. Wouldn’t that be just my luck that when I finally get everything I ever asked for it all falls to shit.
*
Axelle
We’re five minutes late pulling up to my mom’s house. I grab my backpack, which is not only holding a couple of textbooks, but now a brown paper bag filled with three pregnancy tests. Killian wanted me to get five, but I assured him that three would be enough. Not to mention they’re expensive and cost me my lunch budget for the week.
Killian slides from the Jeep without looking at me. He’s hardly looked at me at all since I broke down in his arms. I was hoping he’d react in his typical way, assuring me everything would be okay and swearing he’d stand by me through it all.
Instead, he’s basically ignoring me. Sure he answers direct questions, but other than that, he’s been a robot.
I sling my backpack over my shoulder and see him waiting for me at the hood of the car. When we get to the door, he places his palm on the small of my back. It’s a barely-there show of support, but I exhale and relax a little because of it.
Opening the door, I can immediately hear Jack throwing a fit.
“Mom?”
“We’re in the kitchen!”
I lead the way in to find Jack squirming in his highchair and my mom wiping something off the front of her shirt.
“Hey, guys.” She crosses to us, giving me a hug and then moving to Killian. “Jack, look who’s here,” she says in an over animated voice. “It’s Killian, see?”
Jack’s bright red face fades to a light pink, and he grins, flashing all his teeth even while tears still fall from his chubby cheeks. “Illie!” He holds his baby arms up.
“Aw, buddy…” Killian crosses to my baby brother. “Are you giving your mom a hard time?” He reaches for the latches on the highchair as my mom swoops in and wipes the last bit of food from his hands and face. He pulls my brother into his arms and Jack grabs at Killian’s lips. I stand back as he blows raspberries into Jack’s neck, and the sweetness of it all makes my eyes hot.
“Crap!” My mom scurries to the sink to wash her hands. “I have to go or I’ll be late.”
I suck back the crazy emotions swirling through my chest as she comes to hug me good-bye.
Her eyes narrow. “Axelle, are you feeling okay?” She presses the back of her hand to my cheek. “You sick?”
Killian ducks out of the kitchen with Jack, but I don’t miss the glare he points in my direction before he goes.
“I’m fine. Just fighting a stomach bug.”
“Oh, no.” She pulls me in for a hug. “There’s some saltine crackers in the pantry and there should be some ginger ale in there too.”
“Thanks, I’ll give that a try.” I drop my bag on the floor and move toward the pantry for show.
“Thanks for helping her out, Killian!” She calls out as she ducks into the garage, the door closing behind her.
He doesn’t answer her. Guess it’s not only me he’s ignoring.
I pull a cup down from the cupboard and fill it with water, downing the liquid as fast as I can before filling another.
I made sure to drink a water before leaving Killian’s, and I grabbed another small bottle from the drugstore, so I’m already feeling the pressure to pee. I grab the bag from my backpack and move through the living room to the hallway where the guest bathroom is. I stop for a moment and Killian looks up from playing with my brother. Our gazes meet in an explosion of apologies and whispers of hope.
I nod and mumble, “I’ll be right back,” then lock myself in the bathroom to learn my fate.
Nineteen
Axelle
I emerge from the bathroom a lifetime later.