Her hands come to mine, and for a moment, I see our future unfold: her baby in my arms as I stare down with the love of a father and our lives intertwined forever. I could have her, all of her, take care of her as long as we both shall live.
She gazes up at me with tears in her eyes. “I have so many regrets, Killian, but this, this right here, will prove to be my biggest. I’ve taken a lot of help over the years; you’ve been there through all of it. I won’t let you sacrifice your future for me.” She steps back. “Go to Europe.”
My vision shatters. “I don’t want to. I want to stay with you.” Desperate to hold her close, knowing I’m about to lose her, I pull her to my body. “Marry me. Let me have you and this baby. Please.”
She grips my shirt at my chest, clinging to me. “I can’t. As much as I want to, I can’t take the easy way out this time.”
My throat gets tight and my eyes burn.
“You saw what I went through with Stewart, how much it fucked me up finding out that the man I thought was my dad really wasn’t. I can’t do that to this baby. I refuse to do it.”
“No one will ever know.”
She pulls away and peers up at me with a shaky smile. “Of course they will, and if not in the next few years, they will eventually. And when the kid is sixteen and trying to figure out where he or she fits in the world and finds out you’re not the biological father…” She shakes her head. “No, I have the power to make things right for this baby, and I’m going to do it.”
I push back and put distance between us, disgust rolling through me. “So you’re going back to Clifford? You and him going to take a crack at it? You’ll be his barefoot little wife waiting on him hand and foot while he’s off fucking half of Las Vegas?”
“Of course not!”
“Then what’s your plan?”
She blinks. “I… I don’t know. I just found out I’m pregnant two hours ago!”
“So that’s it. You’re putting an end to what we have?”
She wraps her arms around her waist. “I won’t be responsible for ruining your life.”
I throw my arms out. “You’re not listening! You are my life! All I’ve ever wanted is you!”
“That’s not true. You’re a UFL fighter, Kill. What do you think would happen if I took you up on your offer to take care of us, huh? Five years down the road when you’re still busting your ass to get fights and missing training because the kid is sick? Or what if I want to get my degree, and you end up being Daddy Daycare so I can take college courses. You’d grow resentful, and knowing you, you’d carry it around never saying shit, until one day you’d be forty and looking at me and you’d realize then I wasn’t worth it.”
“Bullshit! Don’t put your insecurities on me, Ax. I’ll always think you’re worth it. The only person around you who doesn’t think you’re worth it is you!”
A tear drips from her eyes. “And Stew and Trip and Clifford, and a string of other guys who let me go without a fight.”
I spit out a laugh and shake my head. “And yet here I am. This whole time I’ve been here fighting for you every fucking second of every damn day, and you’re the one who’s letting me go.”
Her face crumbles and she cries. “Don’t you see? Whatever you think I am, I’m not. You’ll see it eventually; they all do.”
I bury my hands into her hair and force her eyes to mine. The heat of our breath mingles as our lips are mere inches apart. “Then don’t let me go, Axelle.” I press a soft kiss against her lips, tasting the salt of her tears. “Please”—I close my eyes and pray she hears—“don’t let me go.”
Her hands come to my wrists and hold me there. Seconds pass and she continues to clutch me to her. “I love you, Killian. Nothing will ever change that.”
Hope explodes in my chest until all too soon she steps back out of my hold. “No,” I whisper.
She shakes her head and tears fall from her jaw to her shirt. “Don’t hate me.”
I want to say I could never, but as a single hot stream tracks down my cheek, something dark expands in my chest. A billowing riot of outrage, heartache, and defeat swells until something inside me breaks. I can almost hear the audible snap as everything I’ve been holding back rushes to the surface and I see Axelle through new eyes.
She no longer resembles the girl I fell in love with, the woman I’ve come to adore. Now she’s just a girl who broke my heart.
And fuck her for that.
Numbly, I move through the kitchen and past her. I’m not surprised when she does nothing to stop me. I pass through the living room and to the door with my head down. I don’t know if Blake and Layla are nearby, but it doesn’t matter. I have nothing to say to them.
I open and shut the door calmly, move to my Jeep, and fire up the engine. When I back out of the driveway, I’m hit with the scent of her perfume that still lingers in the vehicle, and just as I’d do to air out any smell, I roll the windows down.
Pulling my phone from the center console, I hit my contacts list, find the name I’m looking for, and hit “send.”
“Killian…” The growled greeting hits my ear, and again I feel nothing.
“What time does my plane leave for London tomorrow?”
Cam grunts. “It’s not. You turned it down, remember?”