We head out to the Jeep and then to her place in silence. I’m formulating the gentlest way to let her down and coming up with nothing I’m proud of.
It’s not you; it’s me.
I’m in love with someone else.
I never even wanted to go out with you in the first place.
Yeah, we kissed, but I was thinking about someone else the whole time, so it doesn’t count.
It isn’t until we pull up to her complex and I move to get out to walk her to her door that she stops me with a warm hand on my forearm. “Don’t.”
I release the handle on my door and sit back. “Brynn, I’m gonna walk you to your door.”
She shakes her head and smiles sadly. “No, please don’t. That’ll just make me want you more than I already do, and I think it’s pretty clear that you’re not where I’m at.”
I stare out the windshield, and after a few seconds, I’m not able to come up with any excuse that won’t hurt her. I simply nod. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You were forced into this. I should’ve seen it coming.”
“I kissed you; that was…misleading.”
She shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe. But it was the kiss that gave you away. All that desperation? I can see now you’d been holding onto that kiss for someone else.”
“I don’t know what to say.” I’m an ass.
“No need. I’m just glad I know now rather than months from now, ya know?”
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re a great girl.”
She laughs. “Thank you. I’m pretty sure those are the exact words my grandpa uses when complimenting me.”
“Shit, I’m so bad at this.” I rub my forehead.
“It’s okay. No hard feelings.” She opens the door and slides out. “I’ll see you at school.”
“Yeah, see ya.”
“And Killian? Just in case you don’t already know this, she’s into you too.”
My jaw falls loose and questions roar in my head, but she slams the door before I can pull myself together enough to ask.
Could she be right?
Is Axelle just as crazy about me as I am her?
I throw the Jeep in gear and peel out of the parking lot.
Only one way to find out.
Thirteen
Axelle
“I think your date hates me.”
Ryder slides a lazy gaze between me and his date, who’s stewing with a girlfriend across the room. “Eh…she’ll get over it.”
“Ouch. Remind me to warn the female population of your sensitivity.”
He shrugs and shoves his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. “What’s going on with you and Killian?”
“You don’t tiptoe around issues, do you?”
He lifts his eyebrows by way of reply.
“I love Killian.”
His eyebrows pop impossibly higher.
“Always have.”
“You think that might be something you should share with the guy? Put him out of his misery?”
“It’s not like that with us.”
“Yeah?” He looks skeptical. “And why’s that?”
“He’s…too good.” For me.
“Can’t argue that.”
I backhand his bicep. “Seriously, Ry, sensitivity. Work on it.”
“What? He is. He’s smart, funny, decent-looking, and—according to my dad—he’s in line to become one of the best UFL fighters in history. He doesn’t drink much, never touches drugs. He’s a…a…” He purses his lips. “Let’s just say the guy is as pure as they come.”
“He’s a virgin. I know.”
He scrunches up his face. “Hard to believe, right?”
“Not really. He’s never seemed very interested in girls. He’s always been about studying and working hard to become a fighter. I don’t think girls were ever really on his radar—”
Ryder bursts out laughing, the sound irritating because I get the impression I’m the joke.
“What’s so funny?”
He wipes his eyes, and his bellowed laughter slows to a chuckle. “Wow, you’re fucking clueless.”
“You know what? If you don’t learn to use your filter, I’m not—” I jump as a firm grip clamps down hard on my ass. I whirl around to a slit-eyed and sloppy-mouthed Clifford. “Don’t touch me.”
His hands fly up and he laughs low and throaty. “Whoa, what crawled up your ass?”
Ryder steps between us, his back facing me. “Clifford, you’re fucked up. Why don’t you go sleep it off and you and Axelle can talk in the morning?”
I sidestep Ry and meet eyes with my ex. “Don’t bother. I’m so over you.”
He stumbles back and forth then steadies himself. “You’re over me? Funny, didn’t feel like you were over me when you were suckling like a starving puppy from my dick.”
I launch toward him, but am caught up by Ryder’s shoulder as he wraps an arm behind him to hold me back. “That wasn’t me suckling, that was me looking for it, you limp-dick *!”
His jaw ticks and he lurches forward. “Not so limp when I was buried deep in your cunt, bitch.”
Embarrassment engulfs me in flames, because our war of words is riddled with truths. Truths I’d rather forget.
“You’re the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”
“Wish I could say the same, but all the side * and free meals made every second fucking you worth it.”