I let the rest out in a rush, dumping every sad, gory detail, until the very end.
"And then I left, wearing his clothes, and did the walk of shame back here barefoot and weeping."
"The motherfucker." I'd been so caught up in my pathetic tale and pity party, I hadn't realized that Ashlynn had gone from feeling sorry for me to being downright, shaking mad. "I told him you weren't strong enough to stay away. That he had to be strong enough for the both of you. I told him not to come around."
She shot to her feet, trembling with outrage.
"Ash, to be fair, I went to his fight, and--"
"Then you left. And he came to find you." I reached for her arm but she shook me off. "He should've let it be, and he didn't."
I watched in shock as she stormed toward the door.
"I'm sick to death of this. He's the one who ruined everything, yet you're the one always left crying." She pushed the door open and shot me a glare over her shoulder. "Don't follow me. Wait here with Gil, eat a sandwich, and then I'll be back."
She slammed the door with such force, the room shook. As I stared at the closed door, I wondered briefly if I should chase her. Beg her not to get involved. But I knew better than anyone, stopping Ash when she was on a mission would be like trying to stop an airplane in motion. I could try to shoot her down with a rage as hot as hers, but I just didn't have the energy.
Because I’d allowed my heart to be splintered into pieces by Robbie Stevens.
All over again.
What was that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
God, I was such a fool.
Robbie
I sat on the sand, staring out at the ocean, wondering how I'd gotten here. After four years of fighting against myself daily to stop from doing this very thing, here I was, making Melissa cry again.
I let out a groan and picked up a rock, tossing it into the tide with a muttered curse.
"If you were trying to skip it, you're doing a shit job of it," a female voice called from behind me.
I turned to see Ashlynn slowly making her way toward me across the white sand. Her arms were wrapped around her waist, tugging a thin hoodie closer to her body in an effort to ward off the early morning breeze.
"I'm sure you can show me how it's done, but I'll take a rain check. I'm not in the mood for company."
But Ashlynn, being Ashlynn, didn't give a shit about what I was in the mood for and plunked down in the sand next to me.
"I feel like we talked about this already, Rob," she said as she stared up at the puffy clouds dotting the sky before sighing and turning to face me. "I feel Iike I specifically said I didn't want you fucking with her. In fact, I think I said that the island was big enough for all of us, and we could basically avoid each other while we were here. Can you tell me why that didn't happen?" she asked.
Her tone was more resigned and sad than angry, and I turned my head to meet her gaze.
"The island is definitely not big enough. I can sense her here…everywhere…and, fuck, I know it's wrong, but it's like I can't stay away." I raked a hand through my hair and let out a short, harsh laugh. "I love her. Always have. Always will. And if I knew how to stop, I'd have done it years ago."
"Then explain it to me, Rob.” She shook her head, her brow knit in genuine confusion. “You loved her so much, you made an effort to go party clear across town without her and screw another girl? Even if you want to chalk that up to youth and rampant hormones, that doesn't explain why you then came home, told her about it and then dumped her, basically telling her you didn’t want her anymore. That's not love. You don't hurt people you love like that."
The emotion in her voice told me more than words ever could. Ashlynn was no stranger to pain and she would do whatever she could to keep her friend from experiencing it again. I thought about the repercussions...about my long-held secrets and the weight of keeping them all this time.
And suddenly, it was like a dam broke. The words poured out in a rush.
"It was a lie, Ash. All of it. I never cheated. She was so damned smart," I said, burying my hands in the sand. "She wanted to go away to a great medical school, and I knew she'd never do it. She would've stayed in that shit town with me and gone to some shit school because she didn't want us to be apart. I'd have been like an anchor around her neck. So I lied."
The sound of the surf seemed magnified by the rush of blood pounding in my ears.
Ashlynn's silence was absolute, and for a second, I wondered if she'd even heard me...if I'd even spoken the words aloud. But then, she balled up a fist and punched me in the arm, hard.