Maddie woke suddenly, feeling as though someone watched her. She sat up in bed and instinctively swiped a hand over Dan’s side, still cool and empty.
“Dammit.” The stir of regret began to brew all over again in her stomach and she hung her head in her hands. Forcing herself to breathe and not cry, she realized she must have been dreaming about him. Wishful thinking that he’d come to his senses and returned to her.
She fumbled for her cell on the nightstand and nearly screamed when a hand snaked out of the darkness and wrapped around her wrist.
“Oh, my God. Baby?” Her eyes weren’t adjusted enough to see him, but she knew, without a doubt, it was him. Her heart galloped in her chest even as relief washed over her, and she slid from the bed, dropping to her knees before the corner chair he sat in.
He was slouched down in the seat, with his legs spread wide. Crawling forward until she was between them, her arms went immediately around his and she rested her head against his abdomen. There was nothing better than this. Nothing better than simply being close to him.
She felt his shuddered breath and she wilted a bit when it was all he gave her. He didn’t touch her again and, God, how she wanted him to. Just a stroke of his fingers. Something to assure her she hadn’t wounded him so badly that they couldn’t get past this.
“I was so worried,” she whispered, lips trembling as she pressed her face into his T-shirt and inhaled breath after breath of his scent. Even though it had permeated the entire room, nothing compared to the man himself.
“Do you wanna fuck other guys?” he asked abruptly, and she jerked upright. His strangled voice and unguarded emotion felt a fist squeezing around her heart. The question shouldn’t have surprised her. It was exactly the message she’d sent when she’d let Armando kiss her.
“No, I don’t.” She shook her head adamantly.
“You sure about that?”
“Very.”
“Then why? Why would you let him...” His voice cracked and he broke off, exposing the canyon of raw emotion she’d inflicted in him.
She hesitated, still not wanting to blurt out the truth. Which was not only ridiculous, but selfish as hell. Hadn’t she done enough damage already?
“I wanted you riled up,” she admitted, her words a shameful whisper. “I wanted you to want me.”
“I already wanted you,” he spat.
She shook her head in the darkness. She could just make out the outline of his face and the occasional play of moonlight reflecting in his eyes. “Not like that.”
“When I want you, I want you. There’s no difference.”
His breath wafted against her face and she smelled the whiskey, heard the lazy drawl in his words. He didn’t seem drunk, but then it was hard to tell without looking into his eyes. She pushed back and reached for the bedside lamp.
“No lights,” he snapped. “I’m not ready to look at you.”
Simultaneous zings of regret and thrill rushed through her. “Okay.”
Did you like it? His mouth on you? His hands?”
Not in the least. “I liked how you looked at me. With possession in your eyes. I wanted more of that. I thought maybe you’d...” She let the sentence trail, clasping her bottom lip between her teeth. How to say it? How to make him understand?
“Thought maybe I’d what?”
This was it. The moment she laid herself bare before him. The moment of complete and utter truth.
“I thought maybe you’d react like you did, but instead of walking out, you’d...you’d put your hands on me and drag me out of the club. Maybe bring me someplace private or even back here so...” She paused to swallow against the dryness in her throat and the arousal building in her belly. “So you could punish me and make me apologize for acting like a slut.”
She felt his body go rigid in front of her and embarrassment flooded hot through her every cell. Her cheeks burned with the humiliation and her skin suddenly felt too tight, tingling like it might burst at any second.
“It’s stupid, I know. It’s just...you come alive in front of the courtroom. You command every person watching and listening, and you hold nothing back. You don’t let anyone who’s guilty of a crime slink away—you make them feel guilty as hell for thinking they could ever get away with whatever it is they’ve done wrong. And that turns me on. So damn much.”
She heard his breathing pick up and when she ventured a tentative glance upward, she could finally see his face clearly. His nostrils flared and his brown eyes were nearly black and piercing right through her.
“Maddie,” he growled, his fingertips against to the side of her face. It was the lightest of gestures, just a featherlike caress across her cheek and down to her mouth. But it felt like so much more.