“That makes sense. If you lose the rescuers, everyone dies.”
He nodded. “A little girl had taken off her seatbelt. I think she was worried about her mother, who was semi-conscious. Water was pouring into the car’s open windows, getting deeper. I shouted to the little girl to stay where she was, not to move. The current washed her out like she was a cork, took her right out of that car while I stood there waiting for the rest of the Team.”
He could still remember the dread that had taken him, his mouth going dry, his heart slamming against his breastbone.
“You went in after her.”
“Yeah. I ran down the embankment and jumped in, trying to get downstream of her so that I could catch her. I didn’t move fast enough. The current carried her right past me. I reached for her…” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “It was no good. I felt so fucking helpless.”
“I’m so sorry, Jesse.” Ellie’s voice was soft, calling him back from the edge. “I’ve lost people, too. I know it hurts. You did everything you could.”
“It wasn’t enough.”
“I know it feels that way, but from where I’m sitting, you did more than most people would have. You risked your life for hers.”
“I was the last person to see her alive. They finally got her body out of the water on the east side of Boulder. I can still see that terrified look in her eyes, her little hands reaching for me. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t.”
Ellie drew him into her embrace, cradling him against her bare breast the way she’d held Daisy, pressing kisses to his hair.
And for the first time in his adult life, Jesse wept.
*
Ellie called Central Supply at the hospital first thing Monday morning to ask about the AEDs, oxygen equipment, and other supplies she’d ordered that hadn’t yet come in. The clerk who answered the phone had no idea what Ellie was talking about and had put her on hold ten minutes ago, the background music grating on her nerves.
Daisy and Daniel sat on the living room floor together playing with wooden puzzles, sticking farm animals and zoo critters into their respective slots and taking them out again. Ellie was grateful that they were occupying themselves because she didn’t have much in the way of emotional resources this morning.
Jesse was pulling away from her. She’d felt it last night in the way he’d turned off his emotions like shutting off a faucet. He’d left without kissing her goodbye. She’d texted him this morning to wish him a good day, and he still hadn’t replied.
He’d broken down last night, and it had scared him.
“Who are you holding for?” a voice said in her ear.
“I’ve been on hold for almost fifteen minutes now waiting to talk to someone who can tell me what happened to the remainder of the supplies I ordered for the SnowFest first-aid tent.”
“Let me see who’s handling that. I’ll just put you on hold.”
“No, please—” And the background music was back. “Damn it.”
“Damn,” Daisy said.
“Shit.” Ellie needed to watch her mouth.
She walked to the laundry room and moved the load of bed sheets from the washer to the dryer and tossed clothes in the washer.
“Ma’am?”
Oh, thank God. “Yes.”
“Can you give us the order number?”
Oh, come on! “Does no one there know what I’m talking about?”
This wasn’t a big city hospital. This was Scarlet Springs. There was only one SnowFest, and she’d placed one order.
“If you give us the number, we can look it up and figure out what’s going on.”
“Hang on a moment, and don’t you dare put me on hold again.” Ellie hurried to the kitchen, found the right file, and took out the form. She read the number over the phone. “I didn’t get the AEDs, any of the oxygen equipment, or the heating pads—and those are the body-length pads used to treat hypothermia. The cots weren’t there either.”
“What’s a good number for me to call?”
Ellie gave the woman her cell phone number. “Please understand that SnowFest is two weeks away, so I need these supplies within the week.”
“I’ll look into it and get back to you.”
Ellie ended the call, her frustration soaring.
She sank onto the couch, wondering what to do now. Should she give Jesse space, let him find his way? Should she text him again, tell him that she cared? Should she assume they were off for Tuesday night and cancel with Claire?
Damn it.
She’d forgotten how miserable romance could be.
Oh, Jesse.
Her heart had broken for him last night. She’d known the story, of course. The Fisher family had lived in Scarlet Springs for a few generations, and Ellie’s father had been the family’s pediatrician. Everyone in town had been heartbroken over the tragedy, and most had turned out for the funeral in a show of support.