When I reach downstairs, I take the seat directly across the couch from Cole and the girls and then fold my hands on my lap.
I wipe my clammy hands on my shorts, and sign. “Girls. I need to ta—” Cole’s eyes narrow on me. “Cole and I need to tell you something.”
Joce leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees and Cora settles herself on Cole’s lap. They stare at me expectantly.
Right. I inhale. Hold my breath. “So, you know Cole and your dad—Josh, are brothers.”
Cora rolls her eyes and laughs. “Of course, Mama. Is that all? Because Joce and I want to make plans with Cole about the carnival.”
Cole lifts his hand and grasps the nape of Cora’s neck. The gesture is so possessive, it sends my heart fluttering inside my chest. “Patience, sweetheart.”
Crap. This is so hard. “Sometimes things happen in life and we are unable to control them and. . .” I blow out a breath and rub my forehead. The twins squirm impatiently and Cole stares at me, a question clear in his eyes.
I shake my head subtly. I can do this. His lips quirk at the sides in encouragement.
“Cole. . .Cole is your real father.”
Joce frowns. Looks to the floor, and then at Cole. She leans back in her seat.
“What?” Cora squeaks and scrambles off her father’s lap in favor of sitting next to him with her tiny legs crossed.
Taking the ‘rip the bandage off approach’, I proceed to tell them a watered down short version of what happened nine years ago.
Cora’s eyes twinkle, a dimple appearing on her cheek. “So, you and Cole are like Cinderella and the Prince, and your father was the stepmother?”
Cole’s lips twitch. “Yes.”
Cora bite her lip, seeming to contemplate something. “Did you love Daddy too?”
I nod. “Yes. Very much. I loved your Daddy and Cole, but very differently.”
Her eyebrows scrunch up. “How can you love two people differently? I thought there is only one kind of love.”
“It is possible to love people differently,” I try to explain and hope I don’t end up confusing her even more.
Cole mouths, “let me try” and I nod.
He scoops Joce up and over his lap and sits her next to Cora, and then he angles his body so that his entire focus is on the girls.
“For example. You love Joce and your mama. And you love your best friend, Lara or any of your friends at school.” He pauses and watches them intently to make sure they’re following his logic.
“So Mama loved Daddy the way I love Lara?”
Cole nods and Cora falls silent, mulling over the words. She seems satisfied for now, but I’m sure she will be back with more questions. Our story is complicated and probably confusing to Cora and Joce. Or maybe I’m underestimating their power of understanding.
Joce hasn’t spoken yet. She’s wearing a look I can’t read, which reminds me of Cole. It’s pretty worrying.
“Honey, do you have any questions?” I ask her.
She bites her bottom lip, stares at Cole for a long time. “You lived so far away. You never came to visit even after Mama’s father went away. Didn’t you want to be our father?”
Cole sucks a sharp breath, and starts to shake his head. His stare is fiery, darting between the two girls. “Nothing would have kept me away from you if I had known about you. Your mama wrote me a letter and told me about you. I didn’t open the letters on time. I regret that a lot, because I would have seen you sooner. I’m so sorry.” He pauses and kisses the top of their heads. “You two are my forever girls. Nothing will stop me from wanting you.”
Joce nods, her tiny shoulders slumping forward in relief, but then frowns again. “It’s kind of weird having two dads. What about Daddy? Does it mean he won’t be our daddy anymore?” Her lip quivers when she lifts her gaze to mine.
My chest hurts just seeing the panic on her face. “Oh God, no, baby. He will always be your papa as long as you want him to be. No one will ever take that away from you.”
She turns to Cole. “I love you too. Like really, really love you.”
Oh Joce, my baby girl.
I shake my head, smiling. Cole’s mouth is slightly parted. He looks a little stunned too. Cora, on the other hand, is just her happy self, climbing on her knees and playing with her father’s hair, which has grown considerably longer since he came back home.
“You want to know a secret too? I love you too. Like really, really love you and Cora.” He pulls Cora down for a kiss on the forehead and does the same with Joce. “You want to know something else. Josh is still your papa and he always will be. You have two papas who love you so much.”
Cora’s face lights up even more. “I can’t wait to tell Lara. She has two papas too, but both of them are alive. She and her little brother and mother now live with the new papa. But the old one visits them every two weeks.” She stops and takes in a huge breath. “So, is it okay to call you Daddy Cole?”
Cole grins. “You can call me anything you want.”