Nor returns moments later, carrying a small white towel in her hands. I step back to give her space. She settles down on the chair and then leans forward and begins to wipe my brother’s forehead, smiling softly. It’s not genuine though. Her eyes are tight around the corners as if she’s trying hard not to cry.
Josh’s head rolls to the side to face Nor as he says something. He’s staring at her like she is his whole world. She returns the look with. . .affection. The kind of look a sister gives to her brother.
As much as I hate to admit it, this gives me comfort. He genuinely loves her.
Nor kisses his forehead and stands up. She walks toward the door, but then stops and turns to face me. She doesn’t say anything at all. We just stare at each other, reminding me of the very first day I saw her when they moved in next door. I hope to fuck my face is blank.
I can’t afford to lay all my cards on the table. Show her how much she still affects me.
I know my presence affects her too. What I don’t expect to see is the way her eyes soften when she looks at me. I’m not sure how to deal with that.
“Thank you for coming. It’s really good to see you,” she signs. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
My jaw tightens involuntarily. “He is my brother.”
She flinches at my words, a little frown forming between her eyebrows. She nods once. “I’ll be at the chapel, if I’m needed.” She lifts her chin in that defiant way that used to do crazy things to me and walks out of the room with her back straight and head held high.
I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does.
She dumped you for your brother.
That thought is like ice water poured over my head. I shove my balled fists into my pockets and focus on Josh, the new scars still haunting my mind.
We eye each other, the room filling with tension. I have no idea how to begin talking to him after years of no communication.
“You look like hell,” I tell him.
He laughs. When he tries to sign again, his hands shake badly. He gives up and takes a deep breath. “If I knew you were coming, I would have worn my best tux and rolled out the red carpet.”
His eyes are yellow around where the whites are supposed to be. He scans me, his gaze starting from my neck and down to my arms. They linger there for a long time before moving to my face. I see recognition burning in there.
“Great tattoos,” he says, grinning. And for just a few seconds, his smile is easy, like I remember it.
I don’t say anything. I don’t feel like chatting about my goddamn tattoos when my brother looks like he’s about to kick the bucket the next second. My head is empty right now and I’m not exactly sure what I want to talk about, but my ink is not it.
He grimaces and the smile disappears. The look on his face shifting to remorse, he averts his gaze to the vicinity above my right shoulder. Mine stays on him.
“Cole. . .” he starts to sign then stops, his chest rising and falling fast in exhaustion. His fingers slide across the bed and wrap around the control. He presses a button, adjusting the angle of his upper body a few degrees up.
He folds his hands on his lap. “I really don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t begin to cover what happened. I wish we had met under different circumstances—”
“What happened?” I cut him off, unable to hold my shit together. My hands start to shake as the same anger that had driven me out of Willow Hill hits me hard.
I shut my eyes and take a few calming breaths. I hate that my emotions are all over the place right now. One minute I’m angry and the next, I feel guilty as fuck. Terrified and apprehensive about meeting my parents. I’m not used to feeling this way. I have to calm down before I blow this up. I need answers, but I doubt letting my temper fuel this conversation will help achieve this.
I slowly open my eyes and glance at the ceiling, gritting my teeth. When I feel brave enough to face my brother and my nemesis, one of the people I’d literally kill for, I let my head fall forward, my eyes meeting his which are filled with guilt. I need to tread carefully around Josh.
“Let’s talk about this later,” I say, squeezing my neck with one hand.
His jaw clenches. “You don’t get to feel sorry for me.”
I sigh. “I didn’t come back to sort out issues that happened a long time ago. I came here because Mom and Dad asked me to.”
And because I can’t stand the thought of losing you.
His mouth parts in surprise. Hurt crosses his features before he clenches his jaw and conceals it carefully.
“Nor wrote to me too.”
His shoulders slump forward and relief spreads across his face. “So you know about the girls.”
I rub by jaw with my hand and nod.
“Have you met them yet?”
“No.”
His eyes widen in surprise. “Don’t you want—”
My mouth opens and then closes when the words refuse to come out. I lift my hands and sign, “I want to. Jesus. I want to meet them so fucking bad, but that can wait.” I take a deep breath and admit, “I needed to see you first. You are more important right now.”
His expression softens and tears fill his eyes. “They are pretty special.”