Before I can answer her, she glances way, focusing on something beyond me, then signs, “Josh is awake.”
She wipes her cheeks quickly with her palm, pastes a smile on her face and skirts around me. Turning around, I stare after her as she hurries toward the bed and sits on the chair I vacated just moments ago. Josh’s features soften as she leans forward to cover his hand with hers. Their lips are moving but I can’t read what they’re saying, given the angle of their faces. Pain pierces my chest just watching them. She lifts her hand and strokes his face then gently touches her palm to his forehead as if checking him for fever.
“Hey, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling?” I ask, gently touching his face to check for fever. He grabs my hand and bats his lashes at me.
“Oh, my pretty prince, you came to rescue me,” he says, his lips tugging in a teasing smile.
Tears spring to my eyes. I sob and chuckle at the same time. “I wish I could rescue you from this, Josh. I wish I could save you just like you saved me.” I lift a hand and swipe the tears on my cheeks then clear my throat, then whisper, “Cole is here.”
His eyes widen and his hand tightens around my wrist. “What? Where?”
I pull one of my hands from his grasp and lean back so he can get a clear view of Cole.
“Jesus. He really is here.” His voice is a whisper, full of awe. His gaze moves from Cole and back to me. He searches my face for a few seconds before taking in a deep breath, his face taking on a serious look. “I need you to do something for me. I have been holding on to the hope that I’ll see him before I go, even though I’d already made peace with myself. Cole is your dream. He has always been your dream--”
“Stop it, Josh,” I plead with him, shaking my head. “Please. Stop.”
“Shut up and listen to me, Eleanor.”
Wiping my cheeks with my free hand, I shoot up from the chair, but his fingers around my wrist are like shackles, pulling me back to down.
“I love you. You and the girls have made me the happiest man on earth.” He takes a deep breath. “Sometimes life throws you a curveball, just to test your limits. It happened to you and Cole. We never thought we’d ever see him again. Yet he’s here. Shouldn’t that count for something?” I nod and press my lips to stop them from trembling. “Promise me you’ll be selfish for once in your life and do something for yourself.”
I can’t do this. Losing Josh, even though I knew it was coming, is still painful. “I need to go to the chapel.”
“Darn it, Nor. Promise me this.” His voice is urgent and his hold on me strong, despite his weak state. “Give me that, at least. It’s my dying wish.”
I glare down at him, tears still running down my face. I feel the anguish and anger inside me leave my bones as I stare into his pleading gaze. The genuine love shining through them comforts me. I nod and kiss his forehead. “I love you, Josh.”
He lets go of my hand. I quickly dry my face before turning around to face Cole.
I shouldn’t feel jealous. She is not mine. She is his wife now and has been for a while now.
I slip the picture back in my pocket and shove my hands in my pants pockets, feeling like an outsider. I have to leave before I do something stupid.
I cross the room heading for the door, but stop in my tracks when I feel a gentle touch on my arm, and look over my shoulder.
“Stay,” Nor says, tugging my sleeve. Her other hand clutches my beanie tightly to her chest as if it might fly away. She follows my gaze and she licks her lips, her cheeks flushing. She wiggles her freckled nose in that cute way I adored so much and then hands it over to me.
I take it and put it on, then I glance over her head and meet Josh’s weary eyes. He lifts his hand from the bed and waves at me, then lets it fall back on the sheet. He inhales, but it’s cut short when a cough wracks through his body.
I walk back and hover at the foot of the bed, dread filling my chest with every cough. I refuse to allow my fear of losing him drive me into a panic, but watching him suffering like this drums the point home.
Fuck!
“You’re here,” he signs when he’s calm enough to move a part of his body. He can hardly sign the words, though he seems determined to do it. His usually vibrant blue eyes are dull with uncertainty as he stares at me with a hopeful, yet cautious expression.
I nod, watching as Nor hurries toward the bathroom without looking back. I pull my gaze back to Josh.
“Thank you. Thank you for coming, bro.” Josh signs, his brow is beaded with sweat from exertion.
I nod my head, a huge lump forming inside my throat.