She sobs until she can’t breathe. When she pulls herself together, she backs away from him. She takes off one of the gloves she bought at the 7-Eleven and blows her nose in it.
“Lovely,” Ben jokes.
Shelby laughs. Then she looks down. She doesn’t see the dog.
“Oh, no,” she says. Everything is white. Blindingly white. “Damn it, Ben, the dog is missing!”
Shelby is in a panic. She starts clapping her hands together and calling for the dog. She wanders blindly through the snow. “Buddy,” she calls. Her mother will never forgive her. It was the one thing she asked of Shelby, and she can’t even do that right.
Ben comes up behind Shelby and takes her arm. “Over there,” he says.
Shelby turns. There is the poodle sitting beside the angel. Shelby’s sobbing must have scared him. He’s too afraid to move. Shelby runs and picks him up. He’s soaked with snow.
“Buddy,” she says. She feels about ten years old and so lost no one will ever find her.
Ben Mink is there. “It’s okay,” he tells her.
“Is it?” Shelby says. How could she ever have thrown him away?
“It will be,” Ben says.
They walk back following the tracks they left. Soon those tracks will be gone. A foot of snow will fall by midnight. Shelby climbs the fence first. Ben hands the dog over, and follows. Once they get into the car, they turn up the heat and Shelby towels the dog dry with a blanket Ben keeps in the backseat.
Ben gets out and goes around to the trunk. When he gets in again and sits behind the wheel, he’s got a large, fancy box. “I bought you something. I knew I’d see you. I just didn’t think it would be at a 7-Eleven.”
“It’s not my birthday or anything,” Shelby says.
“It’s just a present, Shelby.”
“Because my mother’s dead?” Her voice breaks and then she’s embarrassed.
“Because I wanted to give this to you. I’ve wanted to for a long time.”
Shelby opens the box. It’s a Burberry raincoat. The last time she saw him she’d gone on and on about wanting a Burberry raincoat and he must have believed her.
“Ben,” she says.
“I was an ass the last time I saw you. I didn’t want you to know how much you used to mean to me. When we were together I could never afford to get you anything nice. This is for old times’ sake.”
Shelby decides she doesn’t want to go back to her parents’ house. She has a timetable for the Long Island Rail Road in her pocket, so Ben drives her to the station. This is as over as a relationship can get. She used to mean something to him. Ben gets out of the Volvo to wait for the train with her. Shelby has Buddy tucked into her coat. The raincoat is draped over her arm.
“Well, that was fun,” Shelby says. “Remind me to invite you to the next funeral.”
“Maybe she will be a cardinal,” Ben says.
Shelby laughs. “You said that kid was a liar and bad news.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s not right.”
When the train arrives Ben hugs Shelby as best he can without crushing Buddy.
“It’s okay if your girlfriend is beautiful,” Shelby says. “I want you to be happy.”
Ben grins. “Really? You never did before.”
They laugh and embrace, then Shelby gets on the train. At this hour, it’s almost empty and she has a double seat all to herself. There is so much snow it’s like taking a train through the clouds. Buddy’s even breathing means he’s fallen asleep again. She’ll keep her promise to her mother and take him home. As they near Penn Station, Shelby considers leaving the raincoat behind for some needy person to find. It’s not really her style. Then she realizes she’s the needy person. She didn’t thank Ben, and she probably should have, but maybe he knows that she’s grateful. Maybe he understands that saying thank you can be just as hard as saying good-bye.
CHAPTER
12