Dozens of neighbors are in the living room, partaking of the casseroles they brought over. There’s macaroni and cheese and meat loaf and chicken and dumplings. Comfort food. The same recipes Shelby’s mom used to make when Shelby had her nervous breakdown. Back then, Shelby had wanted to waste away; for weeks she only consumed what was pure: water, green apples, celery. Now, she opens her mouth and lets snowflakes fall onto her tongue. She’s empty and she feels like she’ll stay that way.
Maravelle and Mrs. Diaz attended the funeral, but afterward Shelby assured them there was no need for them to come back to the house. She’d rather they take care of her dogs, left at the house in Valley Stream. The truth is she didn’t want them to see her in her parents’ basement. She is never going to sleep on the couch again, and her mother’s hospital bed has already been picked up by the furniture rental company. She thinks she spied Ben Mink and his mother among the mourners, but she’s not sure, since she couldn’t bring herself to look at anyone and see their pity. She hasn’t seen Ben since their mortifying date, when he walked out on her and she knew he was right to do so. If Ben had even tried to convey his sympathies, Shelby would have fallen apart.
“Maybe you should spend the night with us,” Mrs. Diaz had suggested before they dropped her off. “You can sleep in Jasmine’s room.”
“Mami’s right,” Maravelle had said. “You shouldn’t be here alone.”
But she is alone, no matter where she is, no matter whom she’s with. She was being driven home from the cemetery by the Diazes because she didn’t want to get in the limo with her father. His girlfriend had attended the funeral. Her name is Patti something. She introduced herself to people as a friend of Sue’s. Shelby didn’t catch her last name, or maybe she didn’t want to. It’s the funeral, she wanted to scream at her father. Couldn’t you wait one more fucking day? Shelby loves Maravelle; she wishes she could spend the night in Valley Stream, but being with Maravelle and her mother would only make her sadder. She doesn’t have a mother anymore. There’s no one to whom she’s the most important person in the world.
Shelby’s father is in the kitchen with Patti and some friends. Shelby doesn’t care that people say widowers with good marriages always marry again quickly. She knows how lonely her mom was in her marriage, how much she wished for something more. All Shelby cares about is that her mother is in the ground, miles away, all alone on a dark evening when the snow is falling. Shelby may have screwed up her own life, but she has high standards for everyone else, including her father. She expects people to act like human beings.
Shelby certainly doesn’t want to sit in the living room and hear how sorry people are and what a wonderful person her mother was and that it’s all for the best that Sue Richmond isn’t in pain any longer. Instead she is burning her childhood books in the grill in the backyard. She wants to be alone, only she isn’t. Her mother’s little poodle, Buddy, has gotten out through the pet door. Shelby’s mom had the door put in when she couldn’t get out of bed anymore. She was afraid that people would forget about the dog, and they have. He looks bedraggled. “Hey,” Shelby says to the poodle.
Buddy doesn’t look at her.
“Hey, stupid, can’t you hear me?” Shelby says, then she feels horrible. Her mother loved Buddy, and now he’s sitting on the steps with a broken heart and Shelby’s calling him stupid. She promised her mother she would take him, and she wonders if anyone has thought to feed Buddy during the past few days. She gets off the table and goes over to him. Buddy looks down, as if he expects Shelby to hit him. She picks him up and feels him shaking; it’s all too sad, his chicken-thin bones, his fuzzy baby fur. He slept next to Shelby’s mother every night. Now he’s cold. Shelby tucks him inside her coat. She can feel him shivering against her chest. She’ll be damned if she leaves him here with these people who’ve come to honor her mother and didn’t even notice whether or not her dog is alive.