Monroe was right. I am sick.
The realization didn’t make me want to stop or quell the need to control her. It never would.
I did, however, realize this couldn’t go on forever. My fingertips dug into the table. In just a few months, we would be graduating and she would be gone forever.
The gut-wrenching part of it all was I had no way in hell of stopping her.
By the end of the period, I was in a foul mood and everyone was a target. I had to get away fast. When the final bell rung, signaling the end of the school day, I was out of there. There were only two things that could bring me down from the black cloud my mind now floated in, but one of them was no longer an option.
I headed out to my car where I stored my gym bag. The parking lot filled fast with my overly eager peers. Sometimes I envied their normal lives and normal teenage problems. How many of them could say they were in the process of taking down a slave ring?
Maybe that was why I was so worked up.
Yeah…
It had absolutely nothing to do with never seeing Monroe again.
I made it to the empty gym without delay and headed to the locker rooms. The team had already left school early to play another team tonight. Dash took over the team in my absence and given my recent jail time, I was no longer on the team. The decision of whether or not I would be allowed back on was still up in the air. With everything I had going on, I was a little relieved to have one less responsibility on my plate. For now. Basketball was something I relied on to keep me from reverting back to the person Arthur and his trainers tried to make of me.
After I had changed, I ran drills and made shots until my arms were sore. I kept going despite the ache in my limbs and the fatigue that slowly started to set in. I needed to work off all the pent up aggression I was feeling. It was working until I heard her.
“Can I play?” The softly worded questioned stopped me mid-dribble.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, taking the shot without looking back.
“I came to find you.”
“Are you in danger?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Do you need to be fucked?”
“Keiran—”
“I’ll take that as a no, which means there is no reason for you to be here.”
“Why are you so pissy today? It’s perfectly okay for you to invade my space, but I’m not allowed?”
“Damn it, Monroe. I’m not doing this today.” I dropped the ball and let it bounce away while I headed to the bleachers where I kept my gym bag and bottles of water.
“You’re a walking, talking contradiction, and just a little bit of a tease, do you know that?”
I could hear the smile in her voice. She approached me cautiously as if I were a ticking time bomb. I guess she was more perceptive than what I gave her credit. Monroe could be incredibly naive at times.
“What do you need?”
“You seemed upset when you left class.”
I blinked twice and mulled her statement over in my head. “Are you actually asking if I’m okay?” I didn’t bother to hide the disbelief from my voice.
“Yes, I guess so…” She looked as confused as I felt, and surprisingly, I felt myself relax but not much.
“I’m fine, okay?”
She cocked her head to the side and studied me. Despite the way I was treating her, she didn’t appear angry, merely curious. “Why don’t I believe you?”
I exhaled a harsh breath and felt my fists clench. “What do you want from me?”
“Answers.”
I turned away because I didn’t want to look into her eyes. It was my turn to feel like a cornered animal.
“I think we need to talk, don’t you?”
“Why are you chasing me?”
“Why are you running?” she countered. This time there was a little snap in her voice.
“You think I need to run from you?” I spun on my heel and stalked up to her until my chest was pressed against hers. I clenched my fists to keep from touching her. If I got my hands on her, I wouldn’t stop until I fully consumed her.