“I’m serious. You can be honest with me. I can take it.”
“No,” he said quickly. For a second I thought he was refusing to answer my question until he put a gentle hand on mine and continued, “You’re not a terrible person. You’re definitely not a complete bitch. You’re none of those things. Why would you think otherwise?”
I felt better. Even if I didn’t entirely believe him, my vanity was appeased. “I was just thinking about this divorce,” I explained quietly. “Suddenly Nick is refusing to do this amicably. He’s threatened to make this as difficult as possible. I just… I wondered if he was maybe punishing me for how awful I was to him during our marriage.”
Eli’s raised eyebrows dropped and scrunched together over the bridge of his nose. “I thought you said this was a decision you came to together?”
“We did. At least I thought we did. His behavior has been… confusing.”
“Has he changed his mind?”
“What do you mean?”
Eli frowned. “Does he not want to get divorced anymore?”
I took a step back, feeling shaken up and unsteady. “Of course he wants the divorce.”
“Then why is he being difficult?” Eli’s question landed with all the gentleness of a tank running over me.
I shook my head helplessly, “I don’t know.”
He didn’t say anything else about Nick. There wasn’t really anything left to say.
“I’m sorry, Eli. I’ve been super self-absorbed since you walked in. Did you need something?”
He let out a nervous laugh and I immediately regretted how I’d phrased my question. He held my gaze though and asked, “I was wondering if you had plans tonight.”
“Tonight?” I sounded like an idiot repeating him, but it was a school night. And by that, I meant a normal Tuesday…
Seeming to read my thoughts, he grinned and said, “I won’t keep you out late. But I thought we could grab a cup of coffee?”
“Coffee?”
“Or a different beverage. I mean, you’re not limited strictly to coffee. We could go for a soda instead. Or iced tea. Water even, if none of those, uh, sound good.”
I realized that my parroting had made Eli nervous. And other than finding it completely adorable, it was not my intention to make him suffer. I laughed, hoping to diffuse the tension. “Actually, coffee sounds really good. I could use some caffeine.” And then because I was still an idiot and didn’t want him to think that the only reason I agreed to go out with him was because I was sleepy, I said, “It will be fun to spend some time with you!” And then because I wasn’t sure if this was a date or not and I apparently had an addiction to sticking my foot in my mouth, I didn’t stop talking and said, “We never get to hang out just the two of us!”
Oh, my god, somebody tackle me.
Stop talking.
Eli’s expression told me clearly he had no idea what to think of me anymore, but he gifted me with a gentle smile and nodded once. “Good.”
I put the last of my papers in my tote bag and fumbled around for my classroom keys in my purse. “Do you have a favorite spot?”
“Yes.” His smile came more naturally as I shut off the lights and we moved to the quiet hallway so I could lock the door behind me. “It’s not Starbucks though. Does that bother you?”
“What?” I shook my head at him. “There are other places that make coffee besides Starbucks? You’re lying.”
He laughed at my sarcasm. “I would not lie about something like this. I take my coffee very seriously.”
“Well, I’ve never been much of a commercial coffee drinker.” I waved my to-go cup in the air. “I bring it from home.”
“I’m glad we share the same philosophy,” Eli said seriously.
“I can’t lie, mine’s more about me being late every morning. I never have time to stop.”