I slumped against the doorframe to Kara’s office and dropped my bag to my feet. She looked up at me from where she stood over her desk examining some papers and frowned at me.
Unlike the rest of the school, Kara’s office was warmly lit and smelled like heaven. She burned candles all year round, despite the fact that they were against school policy. Mr. Kellar let her get away with it because she argued that her students needed to feel safe and comfortable. He apparently agreed, because he never said anything to her except when there was an inspection.
“You look like shit.”
I glared at her. “Thank you.”
“What happened?” Her voice softened to gentle concern.
“Don’t ever get married. It’s not worth it.”
Her lips pursed and her shoulders straightened. “I wasn’t planning on it, but thanks for the advice anyway.”
I couldn’t tell if I offended her or not. She wasn’t married, she wasn’t even dating, but that wasn’t because there was something wrong with her. She was hot, successful in her own right and the best person I knew. She wasn’t with someone because she chose not to be.
I had always thought of her as the quintessential empowered woman. But there was something in her expression just now… something I couldn’t read.
I walked in and collapsed in one of her comfy chairs that sat in front of the desk. She hadn’t invited me, but I was too miserable to care.
“You don’t have a meeting or anything, do you?”
Her expression shifted to careful consideration and I wondered if she was going to bill me for my time. “Not for a few minutes. What’s going on?” This time I heard real concern in her voice. She had gone home to visit her family over the weekend, so we hadn’t spoken since after school on Friday. She didn’t know about all of my Nick drama and I was finding myself reluctant to share it with her.
I didn’t want to burden her with more of my depression, plus I was fairly certain she was as sick of hearing about my woes as I was. But I also couldn’t get myself to speak the truth out loud. I didn’t want to tell her about my Friday night with Nick because I wanted to keep that for me… I wanted to keep it special and untainted by snarky analysis.
I didn’t want her to point out the possible obvious-that Nick didn’t want to go through with the divorce. And I didn’t want her asking questions to find out if maybe I didn’t either.
There was too much past… too much history for us to ever be really happy moving forward. We just needed to cut this cord and move on.
“I saw the divorce lawyer this morning,” I confessed.
I watched her shoulders sag and her mouth turn down in a frown. “Is that where you were?”
“I took the morning. I couldn’t wait any longer.” I picked at the frayed threads on the arm of the chair. “My parents invited Nick over to Sunday dinner yesterday. Things got a little out of control.”
Her eyebrows shot up and her palms slapped the desk. “They did what?”
“Apparently they miss him.”
“They hate him!”
“Apparently they only hate me.”
She waved a dismissive hand. “Trust me, they don’t. My parents hate me. Yours love you. Maybe too much, but they definitely love you.”
I blinked at her, unsure if she was serious or not. Kara kept much of her home life to herself. She shared everything else, though, so I had never wanted to pry. I hadn’t even met her parents before. It wasn’t like college where most of my friends’ parents either came to visit or hosted a group of us for a long weekend. Since I hadn’t met Kara until our professional lives, there had been no reason to meet her family. I had never thought anything of it. She had only met mine a couple times over the years.
I tilted my chin mulishly, “If they loved me, they would not have invited my ex-husband to dinner. That’s not love. That’s torture.”