“I don’t know,” I answer. “I just... do. I needed to tell somebody, and you’re the one I chose to tell. I don’t regret my decision.”
“Yeah, but... why me?”
I start my car, but don’t move to take off, yet. I just try to think of how to answer his question.
“Estaine, you’re my friend. From the moment I met you, I knew that we were going to be friends,” I say. “I trust you completely. Which is probably insane considering I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks, but I do.”
“I’m glad you chose me,” he says. “But why not tell Brooks? You were friends with him too, then, right?”
“I can’t explain my choice,” I say, as I start driving towards Uncle Matty and Jake’s house.
Estaine doesn’t respond and doesn’t say another word the entire two minute drive to Uncle Matty’s house. Normally, I would feel the need to fill the silence with pointless chatter, but I find that silence with Estaine is oddly comforting.
“Why do you think you’re comfortable with me?” Estaine asks, as we pull into Uncle Matty’s driveway. “I mean, comfortable enough to tell me the truth.”
For a moment, I thought he was thinking out loud. It takes a second to realize he’s just continuing our earlier conversation.
I turn off the engine, but neither one of us reach for the door.
“I don’t know,” I finally answer. “I just know that I trust you with my life.”
“But not Brooks?”
What a loaded question.
“No,” I answer. “Not that I distrust Brooks, but it’s not the same.” He’s not the same.
He’s not Estaine.
5pm.
I don’t want to lose you.
Uncle Matty and Jake are surprisingly calm. A lot calmer than I am.
“Why are you not freaking out?” I ask them as I pace back and forth in front of the couch where they’re sitting. “When the terrorists see the video, it’s going to lead them here.”
“There is no student named Phoenix here or at West Raven,” Uncle Matty says. “It’s not like they can just come onto a high school campus and search for you. The reason we chose this school is because of the security.”
“They’re terrorists. I don’t think they’re exactly going to ask permission to search for me,” I say. “Maybe they’ll just bomb both schools, just to be sure.”
“That would defeat the purpose,” Jake says. “If killing you was the goal, they would’ve already done it. They need you.”
“So, you think I’m safe then?” I ask.
“I already told you, you’re never truly safe,” Uncle Matty says.
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
“Continue like we have been,” Jake answers. “Training every morning. You’ll go to class and live your life.”
“Jake and I will be keeping a closer eye on you,” Uncle Matty says.
“That’s it?” I ask. “I am just supposed to continue pretending to be like a normal teenager, while somebody out there is looking for me so they can do God knows what to me? How is that in any way okay?”
“I never said it was okay,” Uncle Matty says. “It’s just the only option you have right now.”
“This is crap,” Estaine says, standing up from his chair. “You’re not doing enough.”
“Well, what do you propose we do?” Jake asks.
“I don’t know,” Estaine says. “But something. You’re supposed to be protecting Phoenix.”
“We are protecting her. Would you prefer that she start her life over again? That would mean saying goodbye to you and everybody else at this school,” Uncle Matty says, now sounding angry. “Do you want her to disappear? You may never see her again if we do.”
“No. That’s not what I want,” Estaine says, then looks at me. “I can’t imagine life without you now. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t either,” I say.
“Then it’s settled,” Uncle Matty says.
I have no choice but to trust them.
6pm.
It’s over.
“What do I tell her?” I ask Estaine as we walk towards the dining hall together.
“Her?”
“Teagan,” I answer. “About the viral video.”
“Oh,” he says. “Yeah, I guess everybody is going to wonder about that. My phone has been blowing up with people asking questions.”
“You’re supposed to be my boyfriend. How do I explain Brooks?” I ask.
“Well, we can tell them the truth about Brooks,” Estaine says.
“The truth?”
“That you slapped him after you stopped being stunned over the fact that he kissed you.”
I laugh. “I can’t believe I slapped him. I’ve never hit anybody in my life. Not even Charlie, when we fought as kids.”
“I’m glad you did slap him. I wanted to punch him at the stadium when it first happened,” he says.
“I bet your hit would’ve hurt worse,” I say, as we walk into the room. Everybody stops talking and stares at us. Estaine doesn’t seem to notice or care.
“I doubt it. You’re an epic MMA fighter,” he says.
Not even. I’ve only been working with Uncle Matty and Jake two weeks.
“Everybody is staring,” I say to him.
“Let them,” he says, and grabs my hand.