“Owww!” she screeches, and I bring my finger to my lips.
“Please don’t wake him up. Let’s hope he sleeps at least another hour,” I say.
She smiles again and I’m captivated by her. Even in pain, she’s flawless. Her curls cascade around her face, and I have a sudden urge to wrap them around my fingers. She’s cast a spell on me, and I feel weak.
“I’m sorry I got mad at you,” she says. “It’s just, we didn’t get off on the right foot when I first came here. I was so angry with you and your lack of empathy for your own child. I didn’t understand why you couldn’t bring yourself to love him and care for him. I’ve worked with critically ill babies for so long, and I don’t remember ever having to convince a parent to be there for them. You confused me. And worried me.”
Her instincts were right on so many levels. Kai scared me. He still scares me. “If I avoided everything, I thought it would go away.”
“That’s cowardice,” she says.
“I know.”
“When you told me about your parents’ reaction to Kai, it made me happy. Your mom gave you good advice.” She smiles warmly, “She seems like a great lady.”
My parents were supposed to come visit Kai several weeks ago, but they changed their plans when Bill got sick. He was in bed with the flu for almost ten days, and they decided to wait a little while longer before coming up. They’re worried about bringing germs with them. I FaceTimed with them last week, and they were so happy to lay eyes on a sleeping Kai. My mother had tears in her eyes when she saw him in my arms.
“She is. She’s been through a lot in her life, and she got through it all with shining colors. Bill has been a great husband and father to me, and I’m grateful for that. Even though I don’t show it as much as I should—or ever.”
“You’re lucky, Garrett. You have two parents here to love you and Kai.” Her face is solemn, and I feel compelled to ask about her parents again. The last time I did, she shut it down. She’s reluctant to reminisce, and I feel intrusive when I ask.
“Yeah. My gene pool isn’t perfect, but I shouldn’t complain about where I’ve come from.” Now I want to change the subject because the thought of my birth father makes my skin crawl.
Her eyes are heavy, and she looks like she’s about to fall asleep.
“I’ll make you a deal,” I say, surprising myself.
“What?” she says groggily.
“Take the rest of the night off. Completely. I’ll stay with Kai in his room, and you can sleep in the guest room.” For once, she’ll get a good night sleep without any interruptions. I want to do this for her.
She raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You haven’t done a complete overnight with him ever. I’m usually an arms-length away. I don’t think you know what you’re agreeing to.”
Neither do I, but I continue, “If I can make it through, we can talk about a schedule so I can give you back some time to yourself. You’ve been caring tirelessly for Kai for months, and most of the time you’ve done it on your own.”
She nods in agreement, but she still looks worried.
“Do we have a deal?” I press, and she slowly nods again as she yawns.
“I’ll sleep right here,” she says. “No need for me to mess up one of the other guest rooms. Besides, I don’t think I can walk upstairs again.” She tenses her leg, and the ice pack slides from her foot. The swelling hasn’t gone down yet, and the bruising is darker, more pronounced.
I carefully slide her foot from my lap and stand up. She looks alarmed as I stand over her and scoop her into my arms. “What are you doing?” she asks.
“Put your arms around my neck and hold on tight.” I take a step forward, and she does as I say. Her arms slip around my neck and she settles into my chest.
“You don’t have to carry me,” she says sleepily.