Or else.
I jumped on my bike and left, even though it took everything in me not to haul ass back into her room and make her remember who I was.
It took McGraw less than a day to call the MC into the police station for questioning, after Mia woke up. I walked in with the club’s lawyer, refusing to answer one goddamn question. That’s what I was paying Leo a fuck load of money for. He was Martinez’s bitch when he was alive, and if he could get him acquitted for all his bullshit, our case should be a breeze. Leo could lie to them all he wanted, but I refused to do it anymore.
Trust me, McGraw wasn’t fucking thrilled about it, but he was aware I knew the law as much as he did. I had every right to let my lawyer speak for me. Especially, since none of us were under arrest or detained for anything. We were just there as law abiding citizens, doing our part to solve the case in Mia’s disappearance.
Much to McGraw’s fucking disapproval.
By the time I made it to the funeral that afternoon, the parking lot was empty. Most of the guests had already left. Only a few remained scattered around, more than likely trying to give Mia some privacy while still trying to be there for her family. Knowing they’d probably need their support. After about five minutes I saw the last guest say their goodbyes. I didn’t see Mason or Bo anywhere, not even her cousins, just her uncles and her Aunt Lily. The paper had mentioned there would be a luncheon at the Ryder home after the funeral. I assumed it was where everyone headed, needing to get shit ready for the guests. Knowing it would only make Mia even more unsettled.
It was blatantly obvious she was hanging on by a very thin fucking thread. Standing out in the rain, staring at the small casket in the ground. She looked so confused and helpless, so overwhelmed and exhausted. So fucking tiny and frail. As if she hadn’t slept since the last time she was in my arms. Laying in my bed at the safe house. Giving me hope that maybe in the back of her mind, in the dark place where she had imprisoned my existence, she might have missed me, too.
The nights had been the fucking hardest for me. Lying in bed wide awake with nothing but darkness all around me. Yearning to have her in my arms, pressed up against me. Mostly, missing the way I could kiss her whenever I wanted, smelling her addicting fucking scent of vanilla mixed with plain ol’ Mia.
As much as I tried to stay busy, too consumed with revenge, she was never far from my thoughts. Neither were her words from the night she fucking finished me off.
“Baby—”
“Don’t call me that... Who are you? You’re scaring me... Where am I?”
“Jesus Christ, babe—”
“Let go of me... I don’t even know you... Get out of here... Now!”
Those were the last words I heard come out of Mia’s mouth before her mom and McGraw walked back into the hospital room. She calmed down as soon as she saw them, evidently knowing who they were. I stood there in a state of shock, realizing it was just me she didn’t recognize.
I shook off the memory as I sat on my bike in the rain at the cemetery, watching from afar. Wanting to remember everything about this moment. The way her hair blew in the wind, the way her small frame tried to keep it together. Except, I could physically feel the way she was breaking apart inside. She was no longer the girl with the big, bright smile or the contagious fucking laugh. She was as empty as I was, alone and lost. For the first time since we met, we were now one and the same. Making me hate myself even more for that. Maddie may have been the one they were putting to ground that day, but Mia was already ten feet under.
Both because of me.
All I had left was my memory of the girl who used to fucking love me.
I got off my bike, removed my gun and cut and threw them on the seat, not giving a fuck it was raining. I lit up a cigarette, needing to stop my mind from going fucking stir crazy. Maybe that was why I didn’t see it, when I should have known. I should have felt it or expected it. I could have been better prepared. I could have handled things differently.
Now I’ll never fucking know.
I inhaled a long, hard drag from my cig before gazing back up at Mia. Never imagining what I would see. I never thought it would come to this, or maybe I had and just chose to fucking ignore it.
Pretend like it wasn’t there.
My core sank, my chest heaved, and I felt my face suddenly pale. “The fuck?” I whispered to myself, knowing that this would be the moment where I would no longer be able to pretend.
Watching it unfold right in front of me.
Noah come up behind Mia, murmuring something in her ear, causing her body to lay lax against his. Sending my mind spiraling down a road to nowhere that I knew would end here.
“This is from me to you. So you can always remember me. I’ll always remember you. Okay? That’s my courage patch.”
Noah didn’t waver, turning her to face him. Grabbing onto the sides of her face, he started to brush away her tears with his thumbs. Mia softly smiled at him like she used to smile at me, instantly melting into his touch.
Did she remember him but not me?
“How many tattoos do you have?”
“Too many to count.”
She softly smiled. “I can count them. I mean... if you wanted to know how many you had, I could count them for you.”
Noah smiled back at her, holding her pretty face tighter in his grasp. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, causing Mia’s breath to hitch and her lips to part.
Did she always feel this way for him and me?
“I wanted to see you, okay? That’s all. I saw you from the window inside. I haven’t seen you in a really long time, over a year actually. I missed you.”
“Gonna be fuckin’ gorgeous one day, that’s for damn sure. Slayin’ hearts. Boys linin’ up out the door for you. Your old man knows it, too. It’s why he keeps you under lock and key. Doesn’t want to end up behind bars for beatin’ ass. Don’t blame him either. You’ll meet a cocky little shit who’ll promise you the world. You ain’t even gonna remember me.”
Her breathing hitched and her lips parted. “I’ll always remember you.”
Noah pulled away, putting some distance between them. Without giving it a second thought, Mia threw her arms around him as if all she needed was him.
Did she ever need me?
“Can I write you?”
“Write me?”
“You know, with a pen and paper. Like pen pals. I’ll write you. You write me back. So you know you have a friend waiting for you when you come back home.”
“We’ll see, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
I stood and she threw her arms around my waist, like she never wanted to let me go.
Mia tucked her head into his chest, and Noah wrapped his arms securely around her, holding her tighter against him. Shielding her face from the rain. He kissed the top of her head like she had been his all along. Picking up her off the ground, making their bodies becoming one.