“Yeah. I think it’s from the flowers. She said she’s allergic.”
I’d never wanted to burrow into the floor more than I did right now.
Once I’d stopped sneezing and snorting and itching my face, I focused on getting to the point of this ridiculous charade. “Seriously,” I started. “What are you doing here? In New York?”
“For you,” Eli started but paused briefly. “Well, I was kind of in the neighborhood.”
“In the neighborhood?”
“Investors’ meeting,” he explained. “The firm gained a huge potential client, and I came out here to close the deal.”
Of course he’d come to New York with the priority of a business trip. I was just an added convenience.
Let me tell you…that was the story of my life when it came to Eli.
This trip had nothing to do with me. He didn’t want an actual, committed relationship with me. He might have missed me to some degree, but I knew he didn’t miss me enough to fly across the country just for me.
That was the difference between Eli and me.
Five years ago, I did fly across the country for him. And I’d stayed there, for him.
I moved away from my home, my family, and friends—for him.
Sure, I still cared about him. I still wanted good things for him. But I didn’t want to be with him. I wasn’t in love with him.
You’re in love with Will.
Holy hell that had come out of left field. There was no way I was in love with Will…right? The idea seemed ridiculous. We had only known each other for a short time.
Like Will? Of course.
Love Will? That sounded crazy.
“Isn’t that so sweet?” another bystander from the waiting room whispered behind me, and like a runaway dog on a retractable leash, those little words yanked me right back to the present.
I felt like shouting, Listen, lady. This isn’t sweet. This man is probably one of the most self-absorbed human beings you will ever meet, and he had five years to make an effort. Now is not the fucking time. And I’d really love an antihistamine and a nap. You know, as long as I was ranting.
But luckily, I kept my cool and forced my face into something less confrontational.
“I’m really glad to hear things are going well with the firm,” I said, and honestly, I meant it. Just because I didn’t want to be with him didn’t mean I didn’t want him to be happy. “But—” I started to explain my true feelings but got interrupted before I even got started.
“Everything okay, Mel?” Will asked from somewhere close. So close, the hairs on my arms stood on end.
I turned to find him standing behind me, eyes questioning, brow furrowed.
Jesus, this was getting worse by the minute. The ex-boyfriend and the guy I’d fucked five times last night.
“Y-yeah,” I stuttered while I struggled to find an escape from this hellish situation.
“Who’s this?” Eli asked.
“Uh…this is Will…er…Dr. Cummings.” My lover, I thought. But instead, I said, “My boss.”
“Hi,” Eli greeted and shook Will’s hand. “I’m Eli, Mel’s boyfriend.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I closed my eyes and cringed, but I realized pretty quickly I’d better open them if I was going to be able to prevent anything worse from happening.
Will looked at Eli and Eli looked at Will, and my lungs burned so much they felt like they were being sucked into a vortex. But before I could do anything to soothe the chaos—not that I had any clue what the fuck I was going to do—Melissa called Will’s attention. “Dr. Cummings, Marlene is asking for you to head into exam room six immediately.”
Will turned at the beckon, and panicked, I reached my hand out and gripped his bicep. “Will…wait…”
But he just shook his head and strode through the reception doors and down the hall toward, I presumed, exam room six.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Why did you say that?” I asked Eli through gritted teeth. “You’re not my boyfriend. You’re my ex-boyfriend.”
“I know,” he said, but it didn’t really feel like he knew it. It felt like he was just doing what he always did—capitalizing on situations when it was optimal for him. “But I don’t want to be your boyfriend or your ex-boyfriend. I want to be more than that, Mel. I want to spend my life with you.”
My jaw dropped. Literally. Dropped to the floor. “Excuse me?”
“Oh my God,” a woman whispered behind me. “Do you think he’s going to ask her to marry him?”
I fucking hope not.
Are you there, God? It’s me, Melody. And this better be a freaking joke.
“Don’t you think we should have this conversation somewhere else?” he asked and glanced around the room to several sets of riveted eyes. They practically glowed like a herd of deer in the dark forest.
We had officially become the live soap opera in the waiting room.
And, yeah, we probably should’ve had this conversation somewhere else. The whole situation felt like one giant clusterfuck of disasters. But this shit was Eli’s fault, and I’d be damned if I was going to give him anything he wanted, even if it was the thing I most wanted myself.
“Listen,” I said with determination in my voice. “I’m not sure what your motives are—”
“Motives?” He cut me off with a shake of his head. “There are no motives, Melly. I love you. I miss you. That’s why I’m here.”
I sighed. “You’re here because you had an investors’ meeting, and it was convenient.”
“Oh, come on, Mel,” he tried to argue. “Do you really think that little of me?”
Let the record show Exhibit A of Eli’s notorious ways: turning the blame on me. Eli had a talent for finding a way to use guilt against me. And a year ago, I would’ve crumpled like a piece of a paper.
But not today. Not now. I’d just started to find myself again. I’d just started to repair what I’d lost in that relationship. I’d just started to feel like me. I’d just found Will…
I met his gaze and didn’t back down. “It’s been over four months since I left Portland,” I argued. “Over four months and this is the first time I’m hearing from you in any form other than a generic text message. If you’ve been missing me so badly, why have you waited until now to tell me? Why did you wait until you were conveniently in New York for a work thing to reach out?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” I questioned. “Tell me, Eli. What is it like?”
“I want to marry you,” he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
He wanted to marry me.
I called bullshit.
“No, you don’t.”
“How can you say that?” he exclaimed with a frustrated wave of his hand. “How can you just discount what I’m feeling like that?”
“I’m not discounting anything,” I explained. “Your actions speak louder than your words ever have. And your actions, Eli? Well, they show a man who doesn’t know what the fuck he wants.”
“I want you.”
“You want me? You want to marry me?”
He nodded, resolute. “Yes.”
“Okay, Eli. Then tell me why.”