SARAH WASN’T SURE WHAT HAPPENED back in that hallway, but it took a few seconds before she could get her breathing under control. Coming face-to-face with Dylan like that… It had caused the memories and emotions to rush back, leaving her feeling as psychologically wrecked as if it had been yesterday.
Three years and two months wasn’t enough time to forget something that had altered her in ways she hadn’t expected. Made her want things she never thought she’d want again. Dylan Thomas had shattered her world more than it already had been. Worse, the man had left her feeling more alone than ever.
Sure, Paul held the award for damaging her beyond recognition. For destroying her world, stealing her dreams, eliminating her hopes. But Dylan wasn’t too far behind. He’d put the nail in the coffin, so to speak. Just when she’d become hopeful that there was life after the painful mourning of her husband, Dylan Thomas robbed her of that.
And it was her own damn fault.
Paul wasn’t here for her to punish for hurting her so deeply. Sometimes Sarah pretended he was, shouting into the empty house, cursing him for leaving her. She knew she had no recourse when it came to Paul. One day, if they saw each other in the afterlife, she vowed to give him a piece of her mind. Until then, she had to come to terms with it.
But Dylan…
He’d walked right back into her life as though that night had never happened. But the man was delusional if he thought they could pretend that he hadn’t walked away. He’d used her that night, the same as she’d used him. Not once had she ever blamed him since; however, she damn sure wasn’t interested in going back there, reliving it. Although she didn’t hold it against him, that didn’t mean she hadn’t hoped he would show up on her doorstep again.
Not now, though. He was three years too late.
“Hello, lovely.”
Sarah forced a smile as she looked up at her date.
Bill Kasin. Car salesman of the year for two years straight.
God, what was she thinking?
She wished she could’ve felt something for this guy, but it just wasn’t working for her. Sure, he was nice. And she genuinely liked him. As a friend. Ever since he paid for her coffee at Starbucks all those months ago, she’d entertained the notion of dating him. However, more often than not, Sarah had turned down his advances, made up excuses as to why she couldn’t go out with him, instead staying home with her cats like a crazy old lady with absolutely no life. If it weren’t for her monthly visits to her therapist, her daily phone calls with her mother, and her once-in-a-while girls’ nights with her best friend, Jenny, Sarah would’ve long ago been institutionalized.
Apparently, she’d gotten a burr in her butt tonight because she’d called Bill at the last minute and asked him to come with her. Truthfully, she’d thought he would be busy—she’d hoped he would be busy—and unable to attend. Instead, he had sounded far too excited to accept her offer of a dinner date. Not that she thought of this as a date, but it seemed he certainly did. The guilt she felt was overshadowed by her need to keep herself busy. With her mother always on her butt about how she needed to get out there and date, Bill had been a saving grace for a while.
Yes, she was using him. Yes, she felt guilty about that. No, she didn’t intend to do anything about it either.
Not yet. Not until she could get her head on straight.
Unfortunately, coming here tonight didn’t help at all. Seeing Dylan again… Sarah wasn’t sure how long it would take to get over him this time. No one knew that she’d spent months trying to forget about him because no one knew what had happened between them. And she had no desire to tell anyone, either.
Dylan Thomas was a ghost from her past, one that she fully intended to leave there. In the past.
“You ready to go?” Bill asked sweetly.
“Let me say good night to Jake.”
Taking Bill’s proffered hand, Sarah moved around the room to where Jake was standing in the corner talking to Dylan’s son, Nate. She felt eyes on her as she walked, but she resisted the urge to see who or where they were coming from. She had a good idea.
In a matter of a few seconds in Dylan’s presence, something intense had passed between them. The same unspoken emotions from so long ago. Lust, need, desire. Something that she didn’t want to experience again. It had taken her changing her entire life to forget the men from her past, and now that she’d accomplished that feat, she had no intention on back tracking. Ever.
Hating to interrupt but needing to get out of there, Sarah stepped up to the two men who appeared to be in a heated conversation.
“Hey, Aunt Sarah.” Jake’s attention flew to her as he stood up straight. He looked like a kid who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Cocking an eyebrow, she stared between the two men for a moment. Nate was making a point not to make eye contact and succeeding.
Clearing her throat, Sarah smiled. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re gonna go.”
Jake smiled, but it looked forced. He leaned down and hugged her tightly, thanking her for coming.
“My pleasure.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
Sarah nodded. “Of course.” Glancing between the two men again, Sarah tried to figure out what was up. When it was clear she wasn’t going to be able to, she nodded. “Good night. You boys be good.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jake said with a wicked grin.
“Nice to meet you,” Bill added. “I promise to get her home safely.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. She was a complete idiot. The guy standing beside her was a good one. One she’d be smart to keep around for a while.
But that didn’t explain why her gaze instantly—and against her wishes—strayed all the way across the room and landed on the one man she could never have, the one man she knew would never belong to anyone ever again because the woman who owned his heart had died holding it, eleven years ago.
Half an hour later, Bill pulled up in front of Sarah’s house. As hard as she’d tried, keeping up a conversation with him had been futile. The man preferred to talk about cars and work, and since she had no input on either, she usually kept her mouth shut. Because they had very little in common, they never managed to get to know one another, no matter how many times they’d tried.
When he put the car in park, Sarah had the overwhelming urge to bolt, but she knew that would be rude.
“Sarah?”
Turning her attention to him, she pasted another smile on her face. She was getting tired of pretending, tonight more than most nights.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Fine. Just tired.”
“Would you like me to come in? We could watch TV, have some wine?”
God, that was the last thing she wanted. “I think I’m gonna go to bed.”
His eyes lit up as though she’d offered him an invitation.
“Thanks for coming with me,” she blurted, reaching for the door handle.
“Lemme walk you to the door.”
“No, you don’t need to do—” That was as far as she got before Bill was out of the car and walking around to her door. She waited patiently as he helped her out.