Grant: Bring stuff for the weekend. We’re going to Montecito.
This text causes me to pause. I honestly had no idea what to expect from him tonight. For all I know he was having me over just to tell me we’re through. It would be easier for me if he broke it off, I don’t know if I will ever have the courage to give up my addiction. So this text catches me by surprise, he actually still wants to take me away for the weekend? That must mean he has no intention of giving up on me yet. I actually thought he was going to be pissed and break things off tonight, because of what he thinks happened between Jason and I. Maybe I’m wrong if he wants to go up to Montecito for the weekend, I’m so unsure of what I will say, if anything. I may lose my courage to be open with him once I am in his arms and in his bed. I pack up enough for the weekend just as he requested.
Clarissa: Will do, see you soon.
Then no sooner I send off my text to Grant, I receive a text from Jason.
Jason: Can I see you this weekend?
I toss my phone on my bed and let out an exasperated sigh.
“What’s up, trouble in paradise?” Deena says with sarcasm.
“Decisions, decisions,” is all I say.
“Where are you headed?”
“I think I will be gone till Sunday,”
“Are you going to mystery lover’s place or is he taking you out of town for the weekend?” Deena gets a little nosy.
“He’s taking me to Montecito,” I divulge, it can’t hurt to give her that detail.
“Oh how hoity-toity. That’s an exclusive area to live in. All of the rich and famous have homes there.”
“It’s pretty amazing, I have to admit. What are you doing this weekend?”
“Ken’s taking me out to dinner and then we’re meeting some friends at a club afterwards,” Deena replies.
“Sounds like fun,” I say, envious that they can go out together in town and not have to hide. Deena isn’t someone’s dirty little secret. I feel a pang of sadness and jealousy. If I was dating Jason this is how my life would be, free and easy, sure seems tempting.
Driving over to Grants, I get lost in my thoughts of being torn between my secret life and my campus life. Would I be a fool to give up what I have with Grant for a good time with Jason Bancroft? This is the million-dollar question. As much as I love being with Grant, I must admit I’m starting to feel tied down. Conflicted about this secret life we have together.
Jason, on the other hand, has become so much a part of my daily campus life. I realize if I choose Jason it may be a short-lived flash in the pan for him. If I go into it knowing that I should be fine right? Once Jason gets me in bed will he move on like he did with Nicole? Somehow I think I can hold his attention, for a while at least. I’m not looking for a boyfriend. Why can’t I have a good time like Deena? It’s because of the old double standard. Not only that but I’m wired differently than she is. My heart gets involved; I can’t operate like she does. She seems to manage and not let her heart get involved. At least that’s how it seems on the outside. One night after she had too much to drink she admitted that her heart was crushed by a boyfriend in High School. She swears she won’t let a guy into her heart again. Makes sense to me.
Before I get to Grant’s door I take a calming breath in and exhale. What does he have in store for me this weekend? He’s capable of being tender at times, but then he can turn Alpha Male on me. I can’t help but wonder which Grant will greet me tonight.
“Hello Miss Clarkson.” Calling me Miss Clarkson reveals his Alpha Male side.
“Hello Professor.”
“Won’t you come in,” he says, scanning my body lustfully with his piercing, blue eyes. I walk across the threshold into his condo and I remember how he took me the last time I was standing in this spot. It was the hottest, panty-melting moment. Once the door closes his hands are on me and I drop my bags on the floor and wrap my arms around him. He holds me tight against his body.
“I’ve missed you this week,” he confesses.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“Are you in the mood to go up to Montecito for the weekend?”
“Are you sure you want to take me?” I ask, looking up into his eyes and he hasn’t even kissed me with those luscious lips of his yet.
“I still want you, Clarissa.”
Once his confession leaves his lips they’re on me kissing me as only he can.
*****
While driving up in the car a text message lights up the screen on my phone.
Jason: Can I see you, where are you?
Clarissa: Sorry, I’ll be out of town until Sunday.
Jason: Where to?
Should I say or just not answer him?
“Who are you texting?” Grant asks. He interrupts my thoughts.
“Oh, Deena,” I lie. Then I send one last text off to Jason.
Clarissa: Montecito
Now I toss my phone back in my purse.