Yes, that’s it. I draw my shoulders straight. My fears are making this into something it’s not. I mean, they haven’t come out and said who they think I am. And it’s only a couple of bunches of flowers and a note. Someone playing a twisted game with me. The knot in my stomach tightens when I consider they know where I live and work. But what else can I do?
I reach the bus stop as the red bus turns up and file on behind the queue of waiting passengers. After handing over my travel card, I slot myself in between the people standing at the front and grip the railing while trying not to see everyone else a potential psycho. No point in blowing it out of proportion yet, I tell myself. It’s probably nothing.
It’s at times like this I wish I had someone to talk things over with. My throat aches as my heart squeezes. Someone like Hunter.
***
Hunter
Mitch greets me with a quick grin and places a pint in front of me as I settle into the booth in our usual haunt. Connor looks up from the pool table to give me a wave, brushing his fair hair from his eyes.
I scowl at Mitch. “I’ve been trying to call you.”
Leaning against the pool cue, Mitch gives me a once over. “I had a job, man. Had to go out of the country quick. Besides, I tried calling and you didn’t answer.”
Yeah, I was still stewing from what I’d found out. Couldn’t even face my best friend. “You were meant to be keeping an eye on Jess.”
“She wasn’t having any of it. Besides, I don’t think she’s in danger anymore and neither does she. I told her to call if she needed anything but frankly, I don’t think she wants anything to do with either of us anymore.” He frowns. “You look a damned wreck.”
I bite back a groan. I am a wreck. “Thanks.” I take a lengthy drink of my pint and relish the cool tang.
“Jess didn’t look much better, you know.”
Eyes narrow, I glare at Mitch and try to ignore the stab of my heart. He can have no idea how much I’ve missed her. How I regret my words. How I’ve battled with myself. She’s a porn star. How could I look her in the eyes after finding that out? And with a history like that, it doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination to realize the accusations of theft must be true.
“Glad you could finally grace us with your presence,” Connor says with a grin as he strolls over. “You’re up, Mitch.”
“How’s it going, Connor?” I ask as he slips into the booth opposite while Mitch pots.
“Not bad. Busy as usual. Though not as busy as you it seems. I can’t remember the last time you’ve blown us off two weeks running.”
I grimace. “I’ve had a lot on.”
“Hey, I get that running your own business takes up time. You know I get that more than anyone, but you need to take a break too. You look exhausted.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
He’s right though. I haven’t slept in a week and it has nothing to do with work. Well, maybe it started with work but now it’s just Jess. I haven’t worked all week. Haven’t even contacted the client in spite of his many calls and texts. I couldn’t bring myself to. Connor might run his own business—a motorcycle chop shop—but he has no idea the crap I’ve been dealing with these past weeks.
“Mitch said you’ve had woman problems.”
“Something like that.”
Connor chuckles. “Well, you know where I am if you need advice. I’ve had my fair share of women problems unlike our friend here. His only problem is making sure they don’t run into each other.”
Mitch approaches, a smug look on his face and I glance over at the table to see he’s won. Connor follows suit and groans.
“Next round is on you, man,” Mitch announces as he puts pool the cue away.
“Like usual.”
I laugh and a little tension seems to slip from my shoulders. I’ve been sitting around like a damned heartbroken teenager all week, barely eating, hardly sleeping. All I’ve been able to think of is Jess and the image of her stripping off her clothes for the camera. And if I’ve been lucky enough to be able to sleep, I dream of her. Images of her undressing for me, and only me, quickly turn into full blown porn films in my imaginings. With Pete and anyone else I know fucking her. I grip my pint and try to concentrate on what Connor is saying but it’s a challenge.
Mitch sits next to me and slaps a hand to my back. “You ever going to suck it up and go apologize, Hunter? What happened anyway?”
“Nothing,” I reply lamely, aware of my grumbling tone.
I really don’t want to explain that I’ve fallen for a criminal and she turned out to be a porn star and now I suspect I might be nursing a broken heart. She’s like an addiction, that woman, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. There’s no patch or replacement drug for Jess. I’d hoped coming out tonight would help and while I feel better for it, the idea of going back to my place, alone, just to dream of Jess again fills me with dread.
“Don’t you want to hear how it went with Holly?”
I blink.
“The info you wanted? On Jess?” Mitch clarifies.
“Doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“What’s it to you?”
“She’s a nice girl.”
“Stay away from her,” I growl.