Desire Me

“I was wrong, I guess. Nothing else has happened, has it? It’s time you went home.” He sounds sullen.

“What about my stuff?”

“I’ll have Mitch bring it over. In fact”—I hear him swear softly—“just wait there. I’ll send him to get you.”

“Why? What aren’t you telling me?” I search the previous day for clues, explore his words for an idea as to why he’s dismissing me. Is it our growing closeness? God knows, I was on the verge of something. I’m not sure what. Believing there was chance for us, perhaps, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. And if anyone was interested, it was Hunter. I was the one fighting him off, not the other way around. So why the sudden change?

“This was a big fucking mistake, Jess. Wait for Mitch.”

Tears blur my vision. Traffic passes by, a haze of colours and my throat hurts. “What do you mean, a mistake? You pushing me to stay with you? Or you pressing me to spend time with you? Kissing me was a mistake? Touching me?” Hysteria inches into my voice.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have done any of it. Just fucking wait there.”

“Fuck you, Hunter.” I hang up, bruised and battered inside. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I swipe away the forming tears.

If I only knew why the sudden change, that might help. I snort. Who am I kidding? Hunter’s company has become an addiction. I don’t care why he’s behaving like he is. I want him. Want him so hard, my body aches for him. I make my way to the tube station, not caring when people push and shove me. I thought the worst thing that could happen would be someone finding out the truth about me, but I’m not so sure now.

On the crowded train, the scent of sweat filling my nostrils, I try to summon some kind of inner strength—the one that pushed me to run away from home and find my own way in life. But my own way led me down a terrible path. Starving, homeless and scared, I got suckered into the porn industry. And I wasn’t alone. So many of the girls were there for the same reason. Single mums trying to feed their kids, women who had nowhere else to go, girls trying to fund their college fees. The industry took advantage of that—advantage of me.

Apparently I’m not as far removed from that person as I’d hoped. It took a few kind words and I was pulled in again—this time by Hunter. He stripped me bare and has left me with nothing. I draw in a breath and grip the bar. No, not nothing. I have my job. I will have to face him again soon too. I’ll get some answers then. If he believes I’m not in trouble, he must be right. I’ll forget Hunter O’Reilly and move forward with my plan. Work hard, save up, rent a nice place and remain alone. If I didn’t learn from the last time a man hurt me, I’ll remember this.

By the time I get to my apartment, Mitch is waiting outside, tapping his feet impatiently as he leans against his Jeep. I eye the attractive man and hope I don’t look as wrecked as I feel. “What are you doing here?”

“Hunter sent me. I did stop by the bank but you were gone. Figured you had headed straight home."

“What’s going on, Mitch? Hunter said I’m not in danger so why are you here?”

He shifts from foot to foot and unfolds his arms. “You’d have to ask Hunter about that. I’m going to stick around for a few days.”

“Seriously?”

Mitch opens the car and hands me my canvas bag. I take it and sniff. He offers me a look of sympathy that threatens to crack my composure.

“Hunter is going through a lot of crap recently. Give him a few days. He’ll figure it out.”

“Is it the house?”

Mitch scowls. “What?”

“Him losing the house. Does he blame me?”

“Why would he blame you?”

“The bank is trying to repossess his house. The bank I work at.”

Mitch curses under his breath. “I didn’t know that. Guess that explains a lot.”

“Does it?” I clutch my bag to me.

“I knew he was under strain and struggling financially but I didn’t realize it was that bad. Hunter’s not exactly the type to talk about his troubles.”

“He told me some of it.”

“Well, you’re the exception it seems.” Mitch glances around. “Come on, let’s get you inside. I don’t like having you out in the open.”

“Nothing is going to happen,” I huff as a nervous prickle skips up my spine. Whether it’s paranoia or not, I still can’t shake the feeling of being watched. I can’t keep feeling like this. “Go home.”

“Jess, you could be in danger. Hunter—”

“Hunter isn’t here!” I draw in a breath. “You must have a life, Mitch. I appreciate your help, I really do. I mean you barely know me and you’ve been really great, but you can’t follow me around for the rest of your life.”

“It’s not a hardship. I don’t mind keeping an eye out for you. This is not just a favour to Hunter. I wouldn’t want to see you hurt.”

“You’re a really good guy… but I’m not going to spend who knows how long looking over my shoulder. I’m fed up with being followed and nothing else has happened.”

Elle Boon, C.C. Cartwright, Catherine Coles, Mia Epsilon, Samantha Holt, J.W. Hunter, Allyson Lindt, Kathryn Kelly, Tracey Smith's books