“In the story my father always told me about how he met my mother, he said instead of fighting the siren trying to drown him, he didn’t resist. That’s what stopped her, made her bring him up on land instead.”
It can’t be that simple, can it? An unresisting man causing a siren’s nature to be replaced with humanity? Whatever it is, I need to learn to control the siren, and Riden is the first chance I have at doing that.
“What is it?” Riden asks. He’s looking at me once more.
“I need your help. I was able to take out a ship from under the water. If I could learn to control myself, so I could go underwater anytime without fear … It’s not just a want. It’s a need. I need this in order to protect my crew. I need to learn to restock my abilities without losing my mind. I need to submerge myself in water without turning into a mindless beast. I need you to help me.”
Some of the fight leaves him at the look on my face. I don’t know what he sees there.
“Alosa, there is very little I wouldn’t do for you, but what exactly are you asking of me?”
“I need you to be with me when I replenish my abilities. I need you to bring me back. Over and over and over again. Until I can do it on my own.”
He scoffs. “I came in here to tell you not to drag me underwater with you, and you’re asking me to do just that?”
“Riden, we need this.”
“You promised you wouldn’t use your abilities on me. You broke it once to save my life. And now…” He shudders.
“This is different. I’m asking for your permission ahead of time.”
“And if I say no?”
“Then I’ll respect that.”
“Good. I’m saying no.”
I hadn’t expected him to answer so quickly. He could have at least pretended to consider it.
Part of me is relieved. The siren terrifies me every time I have to stock up. But the other part of me is disappointed. Doesn’t he know what this could mean for the crew, for our chances of survival?
It doesn’t matter. Riden won’t cooperate. That means I’ll figure something else out.
“Then on your way,” I say, pointing to the door.
*
Kearan, Niridia, and I are back in front of the maps. I’ve already explained the water situation to the crew. Now the three of us need to find a solution.
“There’s this large island on the Allemos map,” Kearan says, pointing to it. “It’s likely to have freshwater. We could stop.”
“The last island we stopped at had siren-made cannibals,” Niridia says. “Devil knows what’s on this one.”
“The question is whether we’d rather die of thirst,” I say, “or risk running into danger on another island.”
Niridia considers this. “Dying of thirst is assured if we don’t stop. Dying on this second island is only a possibility at this point.”
“Agreed,” Kearan says.
I’m thinking the same thing. “Good. Kearan, set a course.”
*
My eyes trail along the horizon, as they have for the last several days, but there is no sign of the fleet. Roslyn hasn’t shouted out anything from her better vantage point in the crow’s nest, either, so I decide to give it a rest.
A pod of whales swims a few hundred feet to our right. They leap from the water and splash back down. Roslyn laughs from the railing, straining as close as she can get, trying to catch the sea spray with her fingers.
The water is startlingly clear out here. Bright fish in reds and blues and yellows swim in the shallows as we pass by more isles along the way. They’re barren plots of sand without more than a palm tree or two sprouting up. We’ve passed nothing yet containing a freshwater source.
Today I find myself observing the crew at their chores. Radita walks around, checking the rigging, making sure the new fixes hold. Some of the gals swab the deck. Others drape down on the outside of the ship, suspended by ropes to pick off barnacles and other unwanted creatures trying to hitch a ride.
The temperature has warmed even more, making us thirstier with the new rationing. The girls wear their sleeves rolled up and their hair up and off their necks.
Riden is up in the rigging, fiddling with the sails. He’s barefoot, shirtless, and he’s gone a few days without shaving.
Holy hell.
I’m staring. I know it, but I can’t seem to stop.
“I could get used to warm weather,” Niridia says from next to me. “Won’t exactly make everyone smell nice, but the view is vastly improved.”
I should have a clever response, but all I can manage is “Aye.”
We stare a few beats longer, until he’s about to turn around and we’ll be caught for sure.
“What’s going on there?” Niridia asks.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, why don’t I see him waltzing out of your quarters every morning with a spring in his step?”
I laugh. “Because there is nothing going on there.”
“Why not?”
I dare a glance back up at him, watch the purposeful way he moves, watch his muscles tense as he pulls on a line. “He can’t handle what I can do. My abilities terrify him.”
“Any person with sense is terrified by what you can do. That doesn’t mean we don’t all love you.”
“Thanks, but it’s different with him. He has a history with people trying to control him. The fact that I can literally make him do things takes his mind back to a darker time.”
“He’ll get over it,” Niridia says with a certainty that surprises me.
“How do you know?”
“Because he’s not an idiot.”
I take a deep breath. “I made things worse.”
“What did you do?”
“The few times that I’ve been able to control myself underwater—it’s always been because of Riden. I wanted to get a better handle on my abilities, so I asked him to help me. I asked him to make himself vulnerable like that over and over again.”
“And he said no?” she asks in astonishment.
“Of course he did. I shouldn’t have asked it of him. It was wrong—”
“No, Alosa. What’s wrong is you not trying to do everything in your power to protect your crew. You did the right thing. He’ll see that it’s right, too.”
“There’s no way he’ll come around.”
“Well, not on his own,” she says. “Men can be so thick sometimes. They need help every once in a while.”
I smile. I’d said as much to Riden’s face, but when Niridia starts walking off, the smile drops. “What are you doing?”
“Helping.”
“Niridia!”
“Riden!” she shouts.
He looks down, his eyes roving until they spot her. “Aye?”
“Come down for a moment, please.”
He leaps for the netting and begins to crawl his way down.
“Niridia, he already said no. Leave him alone.”
“Just let me try something. You do trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Then let me do my job on this ship.”
Riden drops into a crouch as his bare feet hit the deck. He straightens, notices me next to Niridia, but focuses on her.
“Do you consider yourself a selfish person, Riden?” she asks brazenly.
If he’s at all uncomfortable with the question, he doesn’t show it. “I can be,” he says.
“I’m the first mate of this ship, which means I see everything that happens. I see you comforting Deshel, see you softening every time Roslyn is around, see you laughing with Wallov and Deros. You’ve grown fond of us, haven’t you?”