First and foremost, I would like to thank my husband, Greg, for always being there for me. You never doubted that I could get what I wanted, or succeed in this writers’ world, and your undying faith in me means everything.
And my kids—Kaitlyn, Hunter, Gabriel, and Ameline—once you’re old enough to read these (if you ever read these), know that every book I wrote and every word I slaved over, I did it so I could be the best mom I could be. I hope I succeeded in that!
To the rest of my family—Mom, Dad, Tina, Cynthia, MeeMaw, PeePaw, Carole, Greg, Danny, Riley, Connor, Erick, and Ashley—you’re all awesome! Thanks for always asking about my career, and what I was working on.
To my friends—Liz, Jay, Cora, Jen, Chelsea, Tiffany, Megan, and so many more of you that it would take twenty pages just to write all your names . . . but you know who you are—thanks for always being there with me at conferences and in real life, to laugh, talk, and hug.
To my agent, Louise, you’ve never given up on the fact that you would get me exactly where I wanted to be. You told me you would do it, and you did. I’m here, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for everything you do for me on a daily basis.
And, Kristin, thank you for being such an awesome editor and sounding board. Without your tireless devotion to my books, I wouldn’t have gotten where I am, either. You’re always there when we need you, and that’s, like, a superhuman power.
And to my editor here at New American Library/Signet Eclipse, Laura Fazio, thank you so much for your love for this book and my writing! It’s been such a pleasure to work with you, and I look forward to many more books with you! Ever since we met at RT, I knew it would be a match made in heaven. Thank you for thinking the same!
To everyone at Penguin who has worked or will work on this book, thank you for being such a great company to work with. You all rock!
Lastly, to anyone reading this: Thank you. I wouldn’t be here without you. I’ll see you next time.
Read on for a sneak peek at the next
heart-pounding novel
in New York Times bestselling author
Jen McLaughlin’s
Sons of Steel Row series . . .
Coming soon from
CHAPTER 1
CHRIS
Sometimes you had to take a look at your life—a good, hard, brutally honest look—and admit that somewhere along the way, you fucked up big-time. Just as important, sometimes you had to accept that the reason you were in an alley, bleeding and dying behind a busted-up Laundromat, was because . . . those choices you made? The screwups, the wrong turns, all the things you wish you could take back?
Yeah. Those were the reasons why you deserved this.
To die alone as violently as you lived.
I turned my head to spit out blood, painting it across the dirty concrete wall next to me, and laughed at the almost smiley face it made, because why the hell not? But my laugh made my aching ribs hurt more than before, so it ended on a groan. Clutching my ribs, I gingerly rolled over and glowered up at the sky. The uneven cement under my back dug into my already aching spine. The docks were nearby, the smell of week-old garbage and rotting rat corpses surrounded me.
The moon was absent tonight, and there wasn’t a cloud to be seen in the sky. The stars shone down on me—never changing, always steady—mocking me with their bright futures. While I probably wouldn’t last the night.
Because I tried to kill my best friend . . .
And he let me live.
Lucas Donahue should’ve killed me, instead of just shooting me and cracking my ribs in self-defense. He was the closest thing I had to a brother and I’d engineered a bloody coup that had nearly cost him everything. He should have shot me down in cold blood, should have put me down like the rabid dog I was. I deserved it. But instead, he showed me mercy. He let me walk away.
What the hell was I supposed to do with that?
The moment he’d let me walk out of his apartment with a crumpled-up, bloody note in my hand giving me everything I wanted, I knew I made a huge mistake. I should never have attacked my blood brother to get ahead in a gang that—more likely than not—would end up killing me anyway. I’d stupidly wanted to prove to Pops that I could be the man he wanted me to be.
Cold. Ruthless. A killer.
I was all those things, but not to Lucas.
Betraying Lucas was the single biggest regret in my life. Normally, I didn’t wallow in the what-ifs or the shouldabeens. I didn’t waste my damn time with what I could have done, or what I could have been. But if I could go back in time and undo all the shit I’d done to Lucas . . .
Man, I would turn that damn clock back so quickly, it’d snap in half.
The bloodstained note in my pocket burned against my thigh. It named me Lucas’s successor, just like I’d wanted. And just like I’d wanted, Lucas was out of the picture, out of the gang. When his younger brother, Scotty, showed up, gun in hand, at his place, I knew that no matter the outcome, I wouldn’t win.