“That’s fair,” Sloan admitted. “But if things aren’t working out between us, Dilara? I want him moved to his condo. And you can get him the nursing care he needs.”
“Of course. You are in no way to give your heart away to a man who does not love you in return. We’re in complete agreement on that. And you can call me at any time and tell me to remove him from your home. It’s more important, I feel, to try one last time. And if you’ve given your heart to him and he doesn’t have the courage it takes to love you in return, then it’s not meant to be.”
Sadness filled Sloan over that last thought. “I know he loves me, Dilara. I saw it at Bagram, and I saw it in his eyes after we went scuba diving.”
“I always hold out hope for the hopeless,” she said, giving her a bright, warm smile. “You’re a courageous woman. I saw that in you from the first time I met you.”
“You are wise,” Sloan said, smiling a little.
“More important,” Dilara said, “is whether I have been able to fill you with the hope of possibility?”
“Yes,” Sloan murmured, “I feel so much more hope than I did before.”
“Good! Then, when Dan finally comes out of that drug coma, you can choose when to broach this with him.” She held up her fingers, crossing them. “And I will pray that he agrees to go to your home for recovery. When you live in a house that is filled with love, even the hardest person’s heart will eventually open up and blossom within it. I hope that happens between you and Dan.”
*
Dan’s heart pounded with joy when opened his eyes and realized that Sloan was standing next to his bed, her hand wrapped around his, smiling down at him. She had the face of an angel. Not that Dan knew what angels looked like, but to him, her expression was radiant, and her eyes filled with love, for him. The drugs made him vulnerable in ways that he had never been. Laying there, staring up at her, wiped away all his tension.
“Welcome back,” Sloan said, her smile increasing.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse and painful. He looked around. “What happened?”
She wasn’t surprised by his question. She’d dealt with gunshot soldiers before, seen them at the Bagram hospital after they’d been flown in by medevac. There were often huge gaps in memory at first, and the event slowly trickled down in confusing bits and pieces to them. Speaking slowly, she gave him the short version of what happened because she knew Dan’s mind was still clouded with that morphine drip he was on. As she spoke, Sloan saw his eyes become murky, and she could feel a storm of emotions swirling around him. She tightened her hand around his.
“It was touch and go for a while with you, Dan.” Sloan wasn’t about to tell him that his heart stopped twice during surgery. Eventually, she would share that with him, but not right now. The fact that he’d almost died was enough of a burden to bear and work through.
“I’m glad we’re home,” he said gruffly, looking around the room. It was painted a light blue, a TV opposite the bed. His bed was slightly upright, easing the stress on the center of his body where his wound was at.
The loss of a kidney didn’t seem to faze him because she told him that really, a human only needed one to function normally. A second one was like a backup. She saw the darkness in his eyes, saw it in the slash of his mouth as he lay there digesting all that had happened to him.
“What about you, Sloan?” he asked, searching her eyes. “I don’t remember anything from the attack at the hangar.”
Making light of it, she told him about her leg wound. “It’s nothing on a scale of one to ten,” she added, shaking her head.
Dan studied her. “I can’t lose you,” he rasped, holding her hand in his. “This was too close, Sloan…too close…”
“It was too close,” she agreed.
“I wish…I wish I could remember what happened.”
“You will remember,” she promised. “It will all come back either in downloads, or you’ll have dreams about it.”
“Good that you know all this stuff,” Dan grumped. “I have my own doctor to guide me through this.”
“Indeed you do,” she said. “Dan? You’re going to go through a lot of dark emotions in the next week or so. Be prepared.” She caressed his jaw. “I’m here. You can talk with me if you want. Okay?”
“I wasn’t very good at talking with you before.”
“You remember that time?”
“Yes.” He swallowed hard. “I can remember everything four years ago, but nothing after that.”
“It’s the drugs still washing out of your system,” she soothed. “Don’t push it and relax. All your memories will come back.”
He slowly lifted his hand, trailing his fingers down her forearm. “Promise?”
“I promise,” she said, her flesh humming beneath his light, exploring touch. It was intimate, and Sloan hungrily absorbed this contact. Dan could be dead. But he was here, and he was going to make it.
“Are you going to go through it, too?”
“What?”
Dan grimaced. “About almost dying?”
“Yes, I’m going through it, too.”
“Then,” he said roughly, “I’m here for you, too. I want you to talk to me. Okay?”
Startled by his sudden insight and clarity, she stared, her lips parting momentarily. Dan had never offered her this kind of openness or unselfishness. Ever. Her mind spun with why. Did he somehow remember deep down inside himself their talk on the beach?
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Do you have to use crutches or a wheelchair to get around?”
Sloan shook her head, fighting back so much and struggling to look as if she was fine. “Listen,” she urged, “you’re looking tired. Do you feel like napping?”
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
Her lips curved. “I’ll always be here, Dan. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Okay?”
He spread his fingers across her lower arm, squeezing it gently. “Okay. But I want you to take care of yourself, too.”
“No worries. Dara McKinley, Tal, and Dilara are making sure of that,” she said wryly. “Close your eyes, Dan. Rest. Sleep is the best healer you can have right now.”
He frowned and removed his hand from her arm. “Come sleep at my side, Sloan? Please?”
“I can’t…at least…not yet. Your surgery, Dan. If I move at all on that bed you’re lying on, it could tear your stitches. You need to be quiet and not be jostled.” She saw the disappointment in his expression.
“Well? Later then? When I’m better?”
She grinned as she saw a faint curve at the corners of his mouth. “I’d like that.” Sloan knew he had forgotten their talk. That was all right. Still, she wanted to lay against him, and hold him as someone she loved.
CHAPTER 13
Five days. Dan felt the stretch of the stitches as he put himself into a semi-sitting position in the hospital bed. He was restless after nearly a week of being forced to stay in bed. The sunlight was shining in bright slats through the window, covering part of his bed. He’d already had breakfast brought into him.
He missed Sloan. She told him that for the next two days, she had to get her home in order. The ache in his heart over not seeing her daily made him grumpy. Last night, between sleep and wakefulness, the whole assault by Fahd Ansari, dumped into his memory. He drew up the covers around his chest as he lay there, scowling and remembering those vivid, terrifying moments.