? ? ?
“You’re quiet today,” Travis says to me in the car. We’re driving back to the police station after dealing with a stolen-car situation.
“Am I?” I murmur, looking from out the window to him. “I guess I’m just a little distracted.”
I’ve been thinking about how to handle the Elizabeth situation all day. Ranger said he’s going to talk to her first and see if he can handle things without it getting messy and having her get angry, so I’ll see how it goes, and then I’ll speak to her myself. I don’t know what he’s going to say. Is he going to tell her he’s seeing someone or is he going to tell her he’s seeing me? Two very different situations.
“Want to talk about it?” he asks, turning down the volume on the radio. “Is everything okay with your cousin? Or is she not settling back in well?”
“She’s actually doing pretty great,” I tell him. “She’s going back to work next week, and plans on helping other women coming out of similar situations. She’s trying to turn what happened into a positive.”
“Good on her,” Travis answers, nodding. “So if it’s got nothing to do with her, then what is it?”
I take a deep breath. “It’s nothing, really.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“It’s not something you’re going to want to hear about, Trav,” I say, shifting on my seat. I look at the side of his face and add, “It’s not something we usually discuss, so it’s a little uncomfortable for me.”
“Is this when we have the sex talk?” he jokes, turning to look at me, blue eyes dancing with delight. “Are you finally getting laid, Jo?”
“Mature, Trav,” I grumble, looking straight ahead and wishing I never mentioned anything. “It’s not the sex part that’s an issue, it’s who it’s with.”
Might as well just tell him everything now, he’s going to annoy me until I do.
“Who is it?”
I smack my lips together and just blurt it out. “Ranger, the biker I went and saved Elizabeth with. The same biker who happens to be someone Elizabeth loves and wants to be with, although I didn’t know that when I got involved with him. And now I’m in too deep to get out.”
He stays silent for a few moments before he explodes. “Really? A fucking biker, Jo? Have you not heard of the Wind Dragons and their reputation? They think they’re their own law! Faye is one thing—she’s a lawyer, and she’s kind of respectable. But the others?”
“Of course I’ve heard of them,” I snap, crossing my arms over my chest. “It’s not like I wanted to want him, or wanted him to want me, it just happened. He’s a nice guy, and he’s good to me. And I can’t get enough of him, so yes, I’m screwed. You asked, you pushed, and there’s the God’s honest truth!”
“Fucking hell, Jo,” he grits out, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. “I have never even seen you with a man before, and now you’re dating a biker? How do you get into these situations? Fuck. Only you, I swear!”
“What do you mean only me? All the men in that clubhouse have women, it’s obviously not only me!” I say, pursing my lips. “I didn’t ask for this, Trav, but I wouldn’t change it either. I’ve never met anyone like him.”
“A criminal? Pretty sure you’ve met a lot of those in your time,” he mutters under his breath. I narrow my eyes on him. Ranger isn’t a criminal. Sure, he’s been arrested a few times, but he’s never done time. I should know, I checked. “This guy could ruin everything you’ve worked so hard for, Jo. Your career, your credibility, everything. Are you sure you want to go down this path?”
He’s acting like I have a choice, but I don’t.
He doesn’t understand that. I don’t think anyone does.
Ranger is made for me, and I’m made for him.
There’s nothing else to it.
“Have you ever been in love, Trav?” I ask him in a small voice.
“No,” he says quickly, and I can feel his eyes on me before going back to the road. “Are you saying you’ve fallen in love with the biker? You haven’t even known him long, Jo. You’re usually the most levelheaded woman I know, and to hear this shit coming from you . . . Wow. I did not see this coming.”
I roll my eyes at his dramatics. He’s acting like I’ve told him I robbed a bank or something. Forbidden love. Is that what I have with Ranger? Do I love him? Do I even know what love is? The questions running through my mind give me a headache. I rub my temples and wish that we never had this conversation. In fact, I’m going to pretend it never took place.
“Can we change the subject now? Please?” I beg, turning the music volume back up and pretending I can’t feel the tension radiating from him. He’s not happy, and he’s clearly not trying to hide it.
We spend the rest of the ride in silence.
TWENTY-NINE
Ranger
“SO,” I start, wanting to get this conversation over with. I look over at Elizabeth; she’s sitting on the couch, eating some ice cream. “Faye has extended an open invitation to the clubhouse any time you feel like you need protection. I think that you don’t need me here anymore, Elizabeth. You’re doing so well, and you have your sister.”
She puts down her spoon and scowls at me. “What do you mean? Don’t you like hanging out with me? That’s what friends do, you know?”
“Yeah,” I say slowly, dragging the word out. “But they don’t do it every night on a schedule. It’s random. Different times and different places, which we can still do. And if you ever feel like you truly do need me, I’ll be here.”
“You’d be doing the same thing at the clubhouse, wouldn’t you? I don’t see the big deal about why you don’t want to stay here,” she says, blue eyes flashing with sadness and confusion.
Fuck.
I don’t want her to be sad, but this truly can’t go on, especially when she’s secretly hoping something might happen between us. She hasn’t made a move on me or done anything inappropriate though, so it’s also awkward as fuck for me to bring this up right now. How do I get into these situations?
“So here’s the thing. I’m kind of seeing someone right now, so I’d kind of like to be able to spend the night with her. Don’t get me wrong, if I thought you truly needed me I’d be here, but you don’t, do you?”
“You’re seeing someone?” she asks softly, looking down at her bowl. “I had no idea. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Kind of new,” I say, trying to brush it off. “And I wanted to make sure you were okay, you know? It’s not like I don’t like hanging out with you, we can still do stuff, I just can’t come here and watch shitty movies with you every night anymore. I have shit to do, and so do you, yeah?”
Her lip twitches when I mention the shitty movies. “I guess I just don’t know how you don’t see it.”
“See what?” I ask, tilting my head to the side and studying her.