“I don’t know why you’re giving me such a hard time. Of the two people at this table, I’m the only one with real, actual relationship experience.”
“One night stands with half the male population of Boston is certainly experience. But I don’t think it qualifies as relationship experience.”
“Do you want my advice, or not?”
“Not really.”
“Fine.” She pushes back her chair in preparation to stand. “Good luck getting over Knox on your own!”
“Wait!” I say instantly.
She freezes, a smug smile on her face, and settles back into her seat. “That’s what I thought.”
“So.” My voice is grudging. “You suggest…what, exactly?”
She gives me a look. “Seduce him. Screw his brains out. And then walk away without any questions or regrets, finally free to move on with someone who deserves you.” She leans in. “Make him suffer over you for once.”
“That simple, huh?” I ask skeptically.
“That simple.”
I consider her words for a moment. “Even if you’re right, I wouldn’t really know where to start. When it comes to seduction…” I search for the right words. “I’m sort of…”
“Virginal?”
I glare at her.
“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.” She holds up her hands in surrender. “And your Virgin Mary status doesn’t really matter. That’s why you have me. I’m basically an expert at catching men. Keeping them, on the other hand…” Her grin twists into a grimace and a tiny pang of sadness flashes through her eyes. She quickly buries it. “Just think about it, okay?”
I fall silent, mind reeling with possibilities, heart racing inside my chest.
Could I really do it? Go after Nate? Seduce him, sleep with him, and then walk away, like an addict who promises to quit after just one last drink, that final drink, the one they need before they can finally get clean?
He won’t give me forever… but maybe he’ll give me one night, just enough to sate my desire and allow me to move on, scot-free, with someone new. And, as an added bonus, in the process, maybe I’ll make him taste regret when he has to watch me walk away for once.
It’s actually kind of a perfect plan.
I’ll get my night of passion. Then, I’ll get my life back, unencumbered by longing from someone who’s never felt the same.
I just hope it doesn’t cost me my heart, in the process.
Lila might think it’s just infatuation — primal, surface-level attraction — that will go away once I’ve banked the flames burning inside me. But I know the truth — what I feel for Nate is a hell of a lot more. A hell of a lot deeper. And once I get a taste of him…once I cross that line… I worry I’ll be more addicted than ever. A junkie, strung out on heartbreak.
Lila’s words taunt me.
You’ve tried everything else — including pretending he didn’t exist for ten years — and none of it has ever worked…
At this point, she’s right… I don’t have any other options.
“So?” Lila’s voice snaps me back into the present. “Which is it? Giving up or giving in?”
I swallow hard. “Do I have to decide now?”
“You’ve had nearly twenty-four years to think about it. Now’s as good a time as any, don’t you agree?”
I clench my fists so hard I’m surprised my nails don’t break the skin of my palms.
“Tick, tock.” Lila stares at me. “Life is slipping away as we speak. The sooner you decide, the sooner you can seduce him, the sooner your real life can start with someone new.”
“Fine,” I whisper, voice shaking. “I’m in.”
Lila cups one hand over her ear and leans across the table. “Sorry, what was that?”
“I’m in,” I repeat, a fraction louder.
“Again?”
“Crap on rye,” I grit out. “I’m in! I’m so in it makes me want to die.”
“So, you’ll listen to me? Let me be your seduction guru? Your sex coach? Your erotic instructor?” She grins. “You’ll follow my flawless plan to trap, tag, and tap the elusive Nathaniel Knox?”